Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticalrain
see sometimes when negative happens, we try to find reasons as to why it exists - ur nandhs' issue is probably not the reason why ur MIL is finding ways and means to put u down - what have u done wrong to her? ur husband needs to really start acting like a mature adult and a responsible individual - on the other hand maybe sit down and see what u might be doing wrong while arguments that he goes runnin off to his mother. I find that using the same tone and same lingoo as a man triggers some sort of fear in them that needs reconfirmation and since he cant come to u he'll run to his mom instead. try being cool, calm and collected, if u think an argument might start on something, try to go away and drink some water or catch some air. Secondly, if u think ur being treated a certain way by ur saas, its because of what comes to her from her son. U really need to work on him, kindness and politeness will go a long way - whereas any kind of harsh words might just recreate another scene where u'll look bad.
as far as lena dena goes within u and ur in-laws, just because u give something out of good faith to someone doesnt mean they might all do the same, but nonetheless u shud think that they do. I mean I do ALOT for my in-laws, especially for my devars and their wives; but I do it because I love them, not because I want makeup and clothes in return. I think dua's are in itself a bigger gift than anything else. So dont lose hope, insha'Allah Im sure that if u tackle the issue like a mature person everything will fall into place. Dont let the little things get to u.. and also, DONT RETURN THAT JORA UR NANDH GAVE U, it doesnt matter if she has worn it, u shud act like the bigger person.
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hmmm interesting view point. i m married since 3 years Mashallah but havent faced this prob... I think the guy is really immature if he is goin and tellin his mom everythin so i agree with u that she shud politely speak to her hubby and make him realise this is not acceptable for a man to do. indirectly, make him look around and see other men who are 'mama's boys' in the sense that they DEEPLY love their mothers but they never run to them if they have arguments with wives, unless ofcourse its a big issue.
I think in this materialistic world, mystic, its not easy to give and give and not expect anythign at all. if u r not expecting and love them with all ur heart, u r one of a kind... but seriously not all women are like that... i can tell u i m not... it just pisses me off that every year when we go to pak, we spend so much money on the mom in law... but let alone thankful(the face shud also say rite, not just a plain thanks) she dusnt return me gifts of quality. i mean i know my hubby sends money to her and everythin and she dusnt have authority on money but come on, her son spends so much money on her when he goes, its stupid and rude of her to not spend money wisely on me.... i think i m v sensitive when ppl do not reciprocate my love and feelings, even when its a gift... no need to return immediately, but they should make sure that they equally show they care for me... as much as I do.. thaz my 2 cents!