pah ji sounds like you're looking for a slave ---
Try building a life together not having her follow your menu 100%
Sounds like you have some growing up to do.
cut out the middle man --- you're relationship should be between you two only no one should be running to the parents telling them anything...
and for you to be pissed off because of a comment she made to your sister --
well it was a joke first of all and you're sister started it first. If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen.
You guys dont seem to have any serious problems - eveyrhting will work out inshahallah.
PS I married a pakistani bred jatt and I've grown up in the USA so I understand you're differences but she seems to be sensative to your needs as well --- keep trying Allah mian will help you. Ameen.
Good luck