Quote:
Originally Posted by NaTaLia
hie all,
my friend has a problem and she needed advise from me ,but i thought to share it with you all so that i can give her a better advise 
her problem is that she belongs from such a family jahan you cant meet the boy before getting married,her nikkah was arranged and she didnt knew the boy.now as she is nikkahfied now so she went on a dinner with him where he told her that he likes gals who cooks well ,wakes up early in the morning.he didnt wanted his wife to do a job .he wanted her to have kids and look after his parents.Now the problem is the gal is becoming a doctor and she wanted to be an obstritian.but the boy is not keen that she should study more  she tought that she will talk to him in her next meeting.
yesterday her MIL came to see her and baaton baaton mai she said ''ITANI PARHAII KA KIYA KARNA TUM AISA KAROO SILAHII (SWEING) BHI SEEKH LOO''she ignored that comment and told the MIL that she had cooked ACHAAR GOSHT today ..uss pai she siad ''loo jee uss mai kiya kamaal hai aj kal bohat shaan kai masalai miltai hain''
these things are happening after nikkah .she asked me kai kiya woh khush rahai gi shadi kai baad???for me shadi is pure LUCK ..what can i say????secondly she is that type of a gal who can study hard and want to afford a maid instead of doing all the work herself.
so what should she do..should she continue with the nikkah yahan abhi bhi time hai ??? |
I think she needs to exhaust all her options before thinking of divorce.
1st, why didnt her parents make sure studying wouldnt be a problem?
2nd, it seems as if the MIL knew her plans to study because she made a snide comment about it. If thats the case, they're switching the script on her now. Which isnt fair to her.
3rd, she needs to talk to her husband right away. Be tactful about it, dont get upset or irrational. Discuss it and let him know she has so many dreams and hopes for the future and now she sees them going up in flames as she makes achar gosht for her MIL (btw achar gosht rocks).
4th, speak to her own parents about this. She needs to have a strong support system backing her up. Ask her own parents what they think about this, has her MIL said anything to them about it? What do they say about all of this?
She cant just go and file a divorce willy nilly, try and see what she can do to remedy the situation first. Who knows? Her husband might say "you're right".
IF nothing works, then she might want to go that route because its not fair for a woman to alter her entire being, dreams, career, personality, lifestyle, etc just to be married. Thats torture on the soul and just builds resentment within a relationship.
Those are my thoughts.