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I feel really sorry for you, but believe me cut all ties with him. If you talk to him again it will only remember you of all the pain you've been through he won't have answers for anything believe me, he will probably continue to avoid you. Look how much he made you feel miserable what kind of things you've started doing just for his sake and how you are now? Hasn't he destroyed a part of you? Hasn't he changed something inside of you? Don't go to him and talk again then you will show him how weak you felt or still feel, don't give him that triumph such men don't deserve anything. Re-gain your self-respect and just atone for whatever you have done(AllahSWT is the only one who has to know about all of this) we are weak and Allah SWT knows that, he is forgiving and ever merciful more than any human being could imagine or be.
I'm glad you got out of this relationship as he would have never been a suitable husband either, remember Allah SWT knows best sometimes we want a thing which is not good for us and He protects us from it by not giving it to us. Just remain steadyfest in your faith and make Duaa insha'Allah your true Shehzada will come along and treat you like a queen.
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