alvena

Thanks for the posts guys.

I did want to marry him, i just didnt want to tell my parents until i really really had to because if i told them before it would have just caused problems. I wanted to tell them when they got very serious about my marriage when it came to the crunch, like we are now seriously considering someone not oh there is this guy maybe lets see what happens and nothing happened.

Also im in my 3rd year med with 2 years to go, my parents would be pissed off with me and tell me to keep away from him because he distracts me and as i live away from home they would be worrying what im upto, even though none of this was true.

I do love him, i cant help it i do.

I cant get it into my stupid head its over, its done, somewhere inside me i have this little hope that we will get back to how we were, once we have had a little break.

Im finding it extremely difficult to cope. I went out last night with some friends, it was good it was distracting, but i cried at night in bed, i missed his phonecall his good night text, him waiting for me in the morning to walk with me to uni. I Went to the gym just now felt good for 10 minutes but came home and started crying.

You dont know what youve got until its gone, i feel like going to him and begging him, but i have too much pride for that.

I cant cope with the pain at the moment its too much to handle. My tabiat is kharab, i am constantly crying and not eating/sleeping.

ALot of you on here will think what a stupid girl, all this over a man, just get over him.

Its hard to get over someone who was your best friend, your safety net, your rock and the person you loved who just dissaperard from your life and your left with complete lonliness, me and him had our own little world ourt lives revolved around eachother and its just gone in a second and i dont realy even understand why.

Im feeling guilt and i wish i could have done more to keep him, i hate myself for being so affected.

Yesterday i cleared my belonings that had gathered in his flat, random socks, clips, books, jackets. It was the hardest thing i have done in a long time. We walked in together, i was already crying outisde his door, and then he stood and looked at me for like 5 seconds and then left. I cleared my stuff up and showed my self out and straight away called my friends but the pain is still there.

also, this pretty much goes against everyones advice, but is there any way of salvaging this relationship?