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Originally Posted by princessjojo http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/buttons/viewpost.gif
Those two reasons can be completely valid to seek divorce.
I feel that you are wrong in dismissing every case of divorce on these grounds as having a basis in materialism.
People are different and they react differently. Your threshold of pain may not always be the same as another person's.
No they are not valid cases for divorce .. it clearly shows that an individual doesnt have the patience or motivation to deal with human relations and sensitivities of life.
I was thinking the other day that even in your career , if you display quick job jumps, impatience in dealing with your colleagues , you will find it impossible to get into your next job ! the employers shun such candidates for fear of gross behaviour, lack of loyalty, lack of interest and interpersonal skills.
and this huge an affect can hit your career for not being able to keep a job , imagine how huge an impact there will be on one's life for not being able to keep their marriage and relationships.
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While I respect your opinion that marriage isn't to be taken lightly, I disagree with the idea that any case that doesn't involve one spouse inflicting physical abuse on the other is not a valid basis for divorce.
Zaynab bint Jahsh, the cousin of the Prophet (PBUH) married a former slave, Zayd and divorced him around a year later...with permission from the Prophet (PBUH). The reason? Most scholars say that there were compatability issues, namely, the fact that she was of a very high social class and he wasn't. Neither one of them felt comfortable in the marriage. Though the Prophet (PBUH) wasn't happy with the divorce, he gave permission for it anyway. And then HE married Zaynab. And we all know that the Prophet (PBUH) acted on the orders of Allah SWT, so regardless of the Prophet's (PBUH) feelings, Allah SWT approved it.
That's not to say that marriage and divorce should be taken lightly. If you make those promises in front of an Imam and the rest of your community, you'd better be putting in some effort to see them through. Islamically, that's your duty. But sometimes, it simply doesn't work. One spouse may be willing to put in some serious work, but what is he/she supposed to do when the other one isn't putting in any effort? The wife may be very good natured but the in-laws may very well be making her life hell and her husband isn't doing squat about it. How many years is she supposed to suffer through that? And the list of reasons that don't involve physica abuse go on and on. That's why, even though it's frowned upon in Islam, divorce is still permitted
As for making a comparison with one's career...I feel that's a comparison of apples and oranges. There are many things I've put up with - often times with a smile and an even greater effort at working hard - in jobs such as obnoxious, gossipy coworkers, coworkers who dump their work on me, bosses who are rude and look the other way when others are slacking off, discriminatory remarks, etc. You're right. Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it at work, especially when you need to pay the bills. But that's NOT what marriage is for. Marriage takes work but it's not supposed to be work as in the 9 to 5 kind. Allah talla created it for us for "sukoon." A spouse, in the best and most Islamic of marriages, is supposed to be your oasis of peace. If we have to have the same drama at home with the spouse as we do at work, that's not right. If your spouse is putting you through the same tedium and torture you sometimes need to put up with on the job, then your spouse isn't behaving in a very Islamic way.