Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken Biryani
AE and RV ,
Yes, I do carry a hard stance on divorced individuals ... mainly because these days divorce is seen an easy escape route .. we dont want another society like the west , where they are so used to the concept of fall in love, get married, few years later get divorced and then carry the cycle all over again.
Alot happens in a marriage , even in cases where both are madly in love there is a very very high level of patience, understanding and constant effort needed to save and secure a relationship.
and unfortunately many individual today do not put good enough efforts into saving the relationship.
Allah has allowed us divorce as a last option ... but it is still considered one of the most hated in Allah's sight.... it is so for a reason ... The fact that we humans should encourage each other to positively accept our spouses and try to turn around the situation as much as possible to avoid divorce , be it by forgiving the other , kill our ego , changing our attitude etc
I agree , sometimes it just doesnt work out and one is left with no choice but to seek divorce .. that we leave it for Allah mian to decide whether the individual had tried good enough to keep their relationship. In todays day and age , notice if a woman sheds two tears and tells her story there will be many that will tell her to seek divorce and hardly few that will advise her to continue trying to make the situation better... such advisors follow the satan's footsteps .
I am very much against divorces ... unless its for a genuine reason.
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None of us have recommended divorce as a first option. And i've noticed that in many threads related to marital problems in the Life forum, most guppies advise alternative solutions to saving the marriage. Very few people list divorce as the immediate solution.
I personally know two women who were divorced by their husbands for stupid reasons. In one case the decision to divorce was premeditated by the husband and his family because he was in love with someone else. The husband divorced my friend after only three months of marriage on her birthday, didn't get the girl of his dreams as her parents were against the match. It was not only the husband who was a jerk, but her in-laws treated her with disrespect. She was baffled when she saw the divorce papers on her birthday, she didnt' see it coming. The guy got married a second time........his family treated girl #2 like chit as well. Girl # 2 got in touch with the first wife and found out everything and divorced him. What goes around comes around.
Reading the above example, you will think to yourself, "See RV, people divorce for the dumbest of reasons." But I'm glad that my friend got married again, this time to a very nice person. Her current husband was able to look past her divorce "blemish" and get to know her as a person. He didn't think to himself that "Oh she's not worthy of my attention because she's divorced." In her situation, she was the victim.