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Originally Posted by Chicken Biryani
AE and RV ,
Yes, I do carry a hard stance on divorced individuals ... mainly because these days divorce is seen an easy escape route ..
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First of all this is not about nowadays. It has been going on since day one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken Biryani
we dont want another society like the west , where they are so used to the concept of fall in love, get married, few years later get divorced and then carry the cycle all over again.
Alot happens in a marriage , even in cases where both are madly in love there is a very very high level of patience, understanding and constant effort needed to save and secure a relationship.
and unfortunately many individual today do not put good enough efforts into saving the relationship.
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Societies of Islam have the same things happening. Lets not make the divorce a scarlet letter for the women and a witch hunt for men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken Biryani
Allah has allowed us divorce as a last option ... but it is still considered one of the most hated in Allah's sight.... it is so for a reason ... The fact that we humans should encourage each other to positively accept our spouses and try to turn around the situation as much as possible to avoid divorce , be it by forgiving the other , kill our ego , changing our attitude etc
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Now since you mention religion let me quote something directly here so people dont start thinking it is my opinion. READ this to get things in perspective.
"One day, while speaking to Hazrat Hafsa's mother. Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "I think I shall so and so." Whereupon his wife replied, "But it would be better if you did such and such." "Are you arguing with me, woman?" said Umar who was a fierce man who did not expect his wives to talk back at him. "Why not?" she answered. "Your daughter keeps arguing with the Messenger of Allah until she upsets him for the whole day." Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) immediately put on his cloak and went directly to his daughter's house. "Is it true that you argue with the Messenger of Allah?" he asked. "Indeed I do." She replied. Hazrat Umar (rh) was just about to chastise her for what he considered were bad manners, when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came into the room and would not allow him to even touch her. So HAzrat Umar (rh) went round to visit Hazrat Umm Salama(rh) to whom HAzratUmar (rh) was related in order to try and influence Hazrat Hafsa's behavior through her.
"I wonder at you, Ibn Khattab," she said, after she had listened to him. "You have interfered in everything. Will you now interfere between the Messenger of Allah and his wives?" Sayiduna Hazrat Umar(rh) when relating this incident, continued, "And she kept after me until she mad me give up much of what I thought proper." Some sources say that the Prophet divorced Hazrat Hafsa (rh) with a single divorce and that Hazrat Umar (rh) was heart broken when this happened and began to throw dust on his head.
Then the Prophet took her back after Jibril had descended and said to him. "Take Hafsa back. She fasts and prays and she will be your wife in the Garden." Link"
So if you take a stance against divorced people think again. You and I dont have angels descending to help us and we are not exactly rightly guided. Your stance against divorced people goes against the prophets and Sahaba also then? dont you think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken Biryani
I agree , sometimes it just doesnt work out and one is left with no choice but to seek divorce .. that we leave it for Allah mian to decide whether the individual had tried good enough to keep their relationship. In todays day and age , notice if a woman sheds two tears and tells her story there will be many that will tell her to seek divorce and hardly few that will advise her to continue trying to make the situation better... such advisors follow the satan's footsteps .
I am very much against divorces ... unless its for a genuine reason.
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Agree with you but until you have lived through a divorce yoourself (which I wouldnt wish on my enemies) you are NOT speaking from experience at all..and you dont know how things happen sometimes.