WOW.... garam garam discussion chal rahi hai... lol (TLK send some pakoray and chai plz
)
See ladies and gentle..errrrrrrr.. (error occured) jk
, simple is that you cannot take the right of re-marrying from anyone. Widow or divorcee man or woman both can very much re-marry. Divroce should be a last resort to sort out the issues. But there should be some
real reason for it. And yes no doubt Allah knows whose reason was real and who was just trying to make/give a reason. At the end we all are answerable to Him.
AE what you said above abt Eastern ppl is correct to some extent. But the situation is not that miserable as you have depicted. They are also human beings with a heart , emotions and feelings. So plz do not say that they are
willing to so n so. If any woman or a man is ready to tolerate more just to "save face" or "for the sake of children" I dont think so there is something wrong with it. Rather he/she needs to be appreciated and encourged for being so strong and loyal to the promise she/he made to his/her Lord and his/her partner rather saying that he/she wants to live a loveless meaningless life.
The main difference what I see in East and West is, first, the
Patience issue. In West patience level is low. Because the woman there is more independent. The more independant a lady is, the lower patience level would be. Whereas for men its the opportunities available to them in the market. Gals are so easily available that they can have 2-3 at a time
.
On the contrary in East, specially the ladies, have more patience level, may be more tolerant and understand the position of husband and over all meaning of marriage because in East the
Family Values still exists, they are alive and considered as something highly important. Then there are those gals n boys too who have grown up in such strict environment that they are more like robots and less human hence them thinking about divorce is out of question.
Secondly there is
attitude problem. If my husband forbids me from doing something, i am not going to stand infront of his face and tell him "Who are you to tell me this? My father never stopped me. Or I am spending my OWN money. I am not taking from you" etc. This attitude is absolutely wrong and will ultimately lead you to something you never had thought of. This attitude is more seen and practiced in West. Why the difference in attitudes? Coz In west you see it happening all around you, so intentionally or unintentionally you are learning from your surrounding, your mind is picking it up and storing it inside. While in East this attitude is Still not very common. But I am afraid, the way woman is getting independant there, this attitude will be seen more. Sad though
Thirdly, kind of most imp one too, the
infidelity issue. No doubt once again that too is more common in West. Cheating on your partner, or generally speaking, Cheating as an act itself is end of the strongest relationship regardless what type of relation. You break someoens' trust, you have lost it.
Now if we talk about religion, then Allah has not promised anyone a good happy shappy fairytale kind of marriage life to anyone (unless you marry FairyTale
) . But yes the choice is given to you to choose. Marriage, what our religon says, is about LOVE, MERCY and TOLERANCE and I will add one from myside
Respect factor. if you are able to maintain any of the two out of four, your marriage life will work just fine.
Be careful while chosing your partner. Marriage may not be the end of life but there is nothing beautiful to be with one special person for your whole life. Divorce is a Sharr / Buraiee and its spreading fast. Not a good sign.