Quote:
Originally Posted by Scratch
All divorce stories are horrific and mostly involve one extremely opinionated and unfair individual. However, I should warn against portraying girls as victims in all the cases, and categorizing men and their families as evil. At least in the educated Pakistani circles (major urban areas within Pakistan) this is no longer the case. Things have changed much.
I know of several very recent cases where girls behaved totally irrationally and unfairly towards the husbands and their families, despite the latter party doing everything to save the marriage. In all the cases, the poor-girl-victim-card was used extremely effectively by the girls to get out of the marriage to either marry a former flame or pursue material goals after realizing that marriage and family is too much of a responsibility for them to handle. Left some very responsible, mature and decent guys wondering where did they go wrong.
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Scratch, I do agree with you somewhat that its not always men to be blamed ... Infact I know of four cases where the girls came with preconcieved notions of a fairy tale life , and couldnt deal with the reality of compromise with the guy and inlaws ... and eventually got divorced but later two of them accepted that things could have been different with a bit of compromise ..
Both man and a woman enter a marriage at the same time , but its alot more stressful for the girl then it is for the guy, i might be wrong ... i feel that way coz a girl leaves behind her comfort zone to enter a new environment where she is expected to be perfect from day one.
At that time the only thing that keeps her going amidst the teething issues is her husbands honest support. But if the husband lacks that , then clearly a flame can turn into a fireball. I think thats where some men fail .... they fail to balance out between their responsibilities of managing own relationship which is fairly new, plus facilitating wife's relationship with the inlaws , plus facilitating own relationship with parents and siblings.