I always helped. BUT lately, I have been choosy of WHOM I want to help.
I usually do not allow my guests to even pick up anything - because that's the way I want to be with my guest! BUT HOWEVER I DO like them to "offer" help. I like it if they come forward and try to help out - and I like to say THANKS but no thanks... and lead them to relaxing room.
HOWEVER - when I found out that when I went to this particular family's home they would expect me to do the dishes after all men were done eating. This is a BIG NO NO if you invite someone over. What I did not like was the aunt has daughters old enough to be married but she would tell them ahead of time NOT to do the dishes and let guests help out with that. =(
So I noticed that those girls would just stand in the kitchen and stay away from the sink area.
I helped out few times, but every time they would come over to my place they would NOT pick a fork!
so I said to hell with you guys! You get what you give!
andI have stopped helping this particular family. Last time I saw the AUNTY looking at me - as if she was gonna pull my hair off for not OFFERING to help - lol - and her daughter had to start washing up the dishes.
I don't like it when people think they CAN take advantage of you.
Having said this - I REALLY REALLY REALLY am for helping. I love to help while we chit chat the night away. But definitely - do not take me for granted.