My mum always had us daughters (4 of us) to help in the kitchen, so we never needed anyone else's help. But if the size of the dawat was big (60+ people) - some of the aunties would usually come in to the kitchen to help out. We always encouraged my mum to sit and entertain her guests and us girls would look after the kitchen - including warming, serving and washing up afterwards.
Now with my sisters in their own homes and with their entertaining, it depends. If the dawat if for "bahar waley" then no - they don't get their guests to help - again, the sisters all pitch in. But recently (and I seriously recommend this if you've got a few extra dollars) they will prepare all of the food ahead of time and will hire someone to come in and make sure that all the serving dishes are always full and heated and then clean up afterwards. This is a great help - it allows the host to enjoy her guests' company as opposed to being stuck in the kitchen all evening. I love this because my outfits don't ruined as was inevitably the case in the past.
Oh and as for helping out when I'm at someone else's place for a dawat - people are so used to seeing my mum's girls in the kitchen it would seem weird if I didn't offer to help. Although, I limit my help to serving and clearing the dishes - I won't wash dishes at anyone else's place
