Niksik

and you have kids and a good bank balance, and all your needs are taken care of and more, other than create some financial security for the kids, and some for your old age, what are some other places you'd like to spend your money?

I think I'd definitely take my children for hajj before they get married.

Hubby and I were talking the other day that most parents from our culture save all their lives to spend it in a second at weddings for their kids...but hardly any parent takes the time or money to help fulful one of the requirements of any muslim...hajj. Why do we wait for their husbands to take them? I mean, all well and good, why not, but see it becomes harder when there are children, there are more expenses as you get involved in married life...at least the fardh hajj should be done and over with early on so any additional hajj is a bonus.

What are your thoughts on this?

Enigmatica

that is so true ..i really want to go for hajj too before i get married. but my parents have said that hajj should be done with your husband. although mom n dad have taken me n my sis for umrah a couple of times but they are saving up for our weddings and as you put it ..they say it's difficult to finance everything including a hajj esp with all our expensive uni fee, weddings and other kharche ..

in a way they are right. hajj ager khud kiya jaye with your own earnings and effort to that is more worthy. we already owe our parents an awful lot . so i guess it wouldnt matter if they are unable to take us for hajj for reasons financial or whatever they have in my mind

Niksik

You are right Enigmatica, but my question comes back to priorities...at least your parents have taken you all for umrah, and you have considered hajj...but for many people, that question doesn't even come into the minds. And I am not criticizing anyone here but just trying to get views on different perspectives. Here I am today making claims about what I'll do for my kids...let's see...

Enigmatica

i agree ..a lot of my friends have been abroad ..tours to europe , US even middle east in dubai n sharjah but none of them have ever been to KSA for umrah or hajj..that is a shame. when one is well settled with the kids doing well and no financial constraints the first priority should be to go for umrah or hajj.

ive been to lots of place since i was young but the experience of umrah in makkah and the stay in madinah .i have no words to describe the beauty of everything and only those who have been there and have their souls revitalised with imaan can tell what i am talkin about haina niksik

n best of luck with the kids. you have decided totally the right way n i hope you do take them for Hajj or Umrah (Inshallah) because that would be totally a wonderful experience on its own

Enigmatica

btw sorry to go a little off topic.. but i am LOVING GS ..i just joined about two weeks back and its totally addictive. and love the on going discussions ..this one being a great thread too

TLK

That is not true. And even if it is, many wives do hajj off their hubby's earning anyways and not their own.

Niksik

Welcome

Mehnaz

My dad took all of us in 2004 for Hajj. We all went as a family, together, which is quite rare. That's something that I find more special, going to together and sharing this experience with your parents. If you able to, you should definitely take them before marriage.

I should add that Hajj can be costly. The onus should not be on the parents to pay for all their kids, especially if their kids are grown adults and working full-time. Kids (despite being adults) need to take some responsibility.

hareem01

This is really nice thinking Niksik, mashallah.

Niksik

It's just a thinking ...

hareem01

^That's all you need.

chips6

Nice thread,nice thought...!!
we went for Umrah with our parents twice...Once before I was married,and the second time after I was married and was visiting back home...
It was more than amazing....

I hope I get to go for Hajj with my husband soon ..Inshallah...
and someday be able to take my kids there too...Inshallah...

Sara516

pardon my ignorance but i have heard that young children going on hajj is on teh parents..i.e., if u go as a baby or little child, it means u still have to perform it when u are an adult. is that true? if so...at what age should a child go....?

NaMaan

Do it when you are young and enjoying good health . Physically its a very intense exercise . Please don't think too much about finances as you'll see so many poor people there during Umrah and Hajj , and u'll think that if they can do it , then why haven't I done it for so long .

It will be your best experience in life . Totally life changing . inshaAllah .

K337

i know ,i may not be relevent to the topic but trend in our country is that people always go out for hajj when they grow old .
I have planned i will do my Hajj in my young age iA and not wait for me to get buddhi.Because noone of us know when our time will be over from this world and Hajj is pretty physically challanging.Our health declines with age.

khawateen

i went for hajj with my siblings and parents.. i was 14 yrs old.. technically, ive fulfilled my hajj duty (whether it was accepted or not , its up to God).. but i did it..

i dont count it as being done though. i found it a useless trip cuz i dont think i knew enuff about hajj nor was it an important factor in my life at that time. ok parents are taking us for hajj.. ok lets go. you should WANT to take part in this journey. not just tag along.

now that i look back, it would have been much better had i gone as an older adult.. even now woudl be a good time.. and husband and i plan on going for hajj soon inshallah.

its a good thought, but you have to be mature and old enough to know what hajj is all about.. that its not just a physical trip, but a mental one too, and one that involves a lot of ure soul.

ya its good to show an 8 yr old the house of God, and help them get close to their religion.. but umrah woudl be a much more better time to show them that , than hajj.

personally.. no. i wouldnt take a child for hajj, cuz they will still have to do it when they become an adult... why have a cranky child tagging along on a trip he doesnt need to be, making it extra hard for me to fulfill what is an obligation for me.

the oly time i woudl consider taking my children on hajj is when they are old enough to understand the journey they are about to undertake and waht it means... and they are also of an age where hajj is farz on them.

Enigmatica

@nik ...thnkz

@TLK .. i didnt mean that the woman should earn enough herself and then go for hajj. all i meant is that being a family unit, if the hubby n wife save money together even if only the husband is working the wife isnt, she is still responsible for all the budget making and saving, so if both of them save it and then go for Haj, m sure that would be worthier. Anything you put in an effort for becomes more valued .

TLK

See if husband and wife have done the haj before getting married, they can wait for 16-17-18 yrs till their kids get into adult age and go with them so now their kids are done and when they get married they can wait for their kids to grow up.

I like this arrangement better than hubby and wife leaving their babies behind and going by themselves.

Niksik

hajj becomes fardh on you when you become baaligh, or reach puberty.