ChannMahi

-- Current Quote of the Day, 4/10 --

NO! M.S.S did not show up for work. However, our intrepid editors have been able to find his actual, final quote from Tuesday. As usual, we are not making this up:
"I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY."

Also, by popular request we now proudly present the "pencil quote":
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."

Honorable mention in the "I wish I was M.S.S." category goes to Mohsen Khalil, Iraq's Ambassador to the Arab League for this beauty:
"Iraq will not be defeated. Iraq has now already achieved victory - apart from some technicalities."

-- The All Time Greats --

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."

"surrender or be burned in their tanks."

"No I am not scared and neither should you be!"

"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege."

"They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut."

"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."

"On this occasion, I am not going to mention the number of the infidels who were killed and the number of destroyed vehicles. The operation continues"

"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have
started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We
will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."

"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you
with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those
who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these
mercenaries in a crematorium."

"Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method."

"We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked"

"Desperate Americans"

"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport. The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."

"Their casualties and bodies are many."

"Just look carefully, I only want you to look carefully. Do not repeat the lies of liars. Do not become like them. Once again, I blame al-Jazeera before it ascertains what takes place. Please, make sure of what you say and do not play such a role."

"Search for the truth. I tell you things and I always ask you to verify what I say. I told you yesterday that there was an attack and a retreat at Saddam's airport."

"You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are Iraqi checkpoints. Evrything is okay."

"This boa, the American columns, are being besieged between Basra and other towns north, west, south and west of Basra....Now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there."

"By God, I think this is rather very unlikely. This is merely a prattle. The fact is that as soon as they reach baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them....Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled."

"Listen, this explosion does not frighten us any langer. The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catchign them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."

"Blair...is accusing us of executing British soldiers. We want to tell him that we have not executed anybody. They are either killed in battle, most of them get killed because they are cowards anyway, the rest they just get captured."

"They fled. The American louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Arab Socialist Baath Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the American soldiers. we had not anticipated this."

"the louts of colonialism."

"The forces of American colonialism began to drop containers that produce a sound explosion, a very huge sound. I remind you that they said that their strategy is based on shock and awe. Those failed ones manufactured a type of container that has an explosive substance, which they drop. They cause a very huge explosion in terms of sound, as if the universe was shaken. After a while, you go out and you don't find anything. You find some nails, screws, pieces of metal, but the important thing here is the sound. Those failed ones think that through the huge sound explosion, people would be shocked and consequently would collapse and be defeated. What happened? The contrary. The fighters..., the masses..., and the heroic sons of the Iraqi tribes discovered this game. They will turn it against the American louts so as to shock them. Wait for surprises, God willing, to see how the US game will fail."

"The shock has backfired on them. They are shocked because of what they have seen. No one received them with roses. They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will backfire on them. This is the boa snake. We will extend it further and cut it the appropriate way."

"It has been rumored that we have fired scud missiles into Kuwait. I am here now to tell you, we do not have any scud missiles and I don't know why they were fired into Kuwait."

"As for the mercenaries who advanced to the perimeters of Saddam International Airport, I would like to remind you of something. I will mention something that will make the picture clear for you and help you to understand what took place at Saddam International Airport. Most of you probably saw the American movie "Wag the Dog". I hope you remember it. Some of their acts that took place at dawn yesterday and today are similar to what happened in "Wag the Dog". If we succeed in keeping them isolated on that island, and we are determined to do so, we might let them taste a second mini Dien Bien Phu tonight. The European journalists remember it well. Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly. They are completely surrounded now. This morning, the number of armoured personnel carriers that were destroyed, along with their occupants, is eight. The number of the tanks destroyed is 11."

"Tonight, we will do something unconventional against them. This means: not by the military. We will do something that I believe will become a pretty example for those mercenaries. I would not be giving out a secret when I say that action in the dark against such mercenaries is effective, not through the action of armies. I say that dropping down those mercenaries in a surprise fashion at Saddam Airport without accurate calculations is largely meant for showing things. It's a showy operation. It is a kind of surprise muscle flexing to the world to show it that the shock and awe operation is indeed successful. May they be accursed. Through this operation [shock and awe], they sent a number of their villains and mercenaries to be butchered. Again, and according to my early estimates, unless the remaining part of their soldiers surrender, the chance for their survival is very slim. The surprising thing is that after they threw their soldiers into a place where they are not aware of the real results, the villainous Americans, like Powell and the others, sat in Europe to discuss how to divide Iraq as spoils after the war [laughing]. This means what's post-war. The post-war [Iraq] will be the same current Iraq under the leadership of President Saddam Husayn."

"We will pursue them as war criminals. We will work with all the free people in the world, and they are many, who want someone to bell the cat [i.e.; to do a daring deed], and now we are belling the cat, according to the famous [Arabic] saying so as to rid the UN of those villains. After Iraq aborts the invasion that is being carried out by the American and British villains, the USA will no longer be a superpower. Its deterioration will be rapid. I say to those villains who are meeting in Europe, thinking of launching psychological war and brainwashing: wait. Do not be hasty because your disappointment will be huge. You will reap nothing from this aggressive war, which you launched on Iraq, except for disgrace and defeat. Iraq will continue to exist. Its civilization is 10,000 years old. It will not be changed by villains like the US and British villains."

Faisal

Chann ji.. ab aap uss ke zakhmooN pe namak tau na chirko na yaar.

Waisay, where is he, anyway? On his way to Guantanamo or something, just like the Taliban Ambassador in Islamabad.. One week making press conferences blasting Americans. Next week, on a one-way flight to Cuba.

ChannMahi

Other day when he was giving press conference and kept going and going while bullets flying in the background, I thought he actually wants someone to come over and catch him. He deserves some praise though...it is hard to tell truth under pressure and he could lie perfectly with a straight face under so much pressure.

Faisal

Under pressure, its easier to lie than say the truth. If this minister had been saying the truth from day one, he would have been dead a long time ago. One of the many talents of Sad-man Hussain.

underthedome

Love the Iraqi Information Minister? Now there's a place for you!

http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/--

Check out their T-Shirts.
http://www.cafeshops.com/welovemss



The All Time Greats --

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."

"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."

"NO", snapped Mr al-Sahaf, "We have retaken the airport. There are NO
Americans there. I will take you there and show you. IN ONE HOUR!"

Kaleem

What is the point of this rubbish? Everyone knew that he was saying what he was told to say. It was a propoganda war and he was doing just that. I am sure that people like you get amused by waging war on a soverign nation (without provocation) and then make fun of the local people as they try everything they can to protect their homeland.

underthedome

I make fun of the leaders Kaleem. I am happy like the Iraqis are happy to be gone of these people.

Sheraz CT

About Bush and Rumsfeld: "Those only deserve to be hit with shoes."

lol this guy is funny though

NYAhmadiX

I would hire him for Saturday Night Live in a jiffy. You must admit that they guy was one hell of an act. I don’t know about others, but he surely made me look at the dark side of the moon (in a nice kinda way). In wars, dignity is the first thing to go (and we should expect that…….People in Afghanistan during the Soviet Invasion were eating dead dogs), but to keep one's faith so strong and reject the reality takes a lot more guts than to eat dogs.

I salute the Iraqi Minister of Information. He was no different from the Generals briefing reporters in their tents. He was doing what he was hired to do. Poor guy.

Everyone will forget Brig. Gen. Brooks, but people will remember this guy's face for years to come.

SADI

^ agree ... I have to say, when i first saw this man i really idmired him in a funny kind of way! He went on air after the first american strike standing in front of a damaged building but he looked and sounded cool. I would have been freaked out. I agree that in such a position you have to give the people what they want to hear and he was stating the same kind of trash that the american generals/ministers were saying.


PS/ I went to this site (www.welov.....) its seems to be down. :-((

5Abi

SADI, the site is not down. Its having DNS issues.
Here is the ip address of the site:

http://64.39.15.171/
its same as welovetheiraqinformationminister.com
The quotes above were take from there. Pretty hilarious, check the T-shirt section, hollywood section and throughout history section LOL


click above


click above


click above



click above
Iraqi information minister recently spotted with blonde infidel somewhere south of the border!