This morning while driving to work, I had a sad realization -- I might not be able to achieve my dreams.

It was a weird feeling. I felt really down, hopeless and depressed. I have always believed that everyone of us has a purpose to be on this planet (besides praying to Allah).

I don't want to be rich, I don't want to be the king of xyz or anything like that. I just want to do something worthwhile. I want to make sure that I contribute something positive to the society....

*sigh* the saddest part of the whole Eid day is that I am away from my family. This is my 5th Eid that is going to be a lonely one.. gonna go for Eid prayers in the morning and then off to work...

oo its gonna be a long day....

hmm so i had been working on this project for last 2 months .. very hard, spending overtime at work to try to get things done. As i am the only one who works on the client side of our product, things were a bit crazy with all the legacy stuff n other things..

there were about 2 other teams involved in the other parts of this project

and today my manager tells me that the LAWYERS could not agree on the terms between our company and the other company whose product we...

is the easiest thing to do. It takes real courage to standup for what you believe in.


just some random stuff....

coming soon.. dec 7th is fast approaching and I still have to prep .. for some reason i am very calm about it..

khair bhai ki shaadi hai maza aye ga..

after 10 years i will be back where i have always wanted to be!!! i need to loose a lot of weight before going there coz i am going to eat non-stop lol

so how do i start loosing this weight.. i am already running on treadmil 30 mins everyday.. rozay hain so khana ka routine is all messed up.. lekin i...

I had an interesting debate yesterday with a bunch of uncles vs me.

Their argument: there is nothing one person can do in Pakistan that can even remotely help solve the problem.

My argument: there is a lot an individual person can do in Pakistan that can definitely solve most of our problems.

I got the feeling that somewhere after 1947 we lost the value of hardwork. We seem to expect things to fall in our lap without any hardwork.

for...

well i am sick.. but i am at work.. don't knw why.. sigh

i feel like having chicken soup after aftari.. or for aftari.. lekin i don't think i would have the energy to make a chicken soup for myself..


any volunteers?

maybe its just the lack of sleep or maybe its something else.. but lately i have been feeling the urge to take 6 months off from work and just take a nice long vacation..

as much as i would like to travel around the world after shaadi, I just think that the whole idea will be met with a lot of resistance.. from family and more importantly my back account..

sigh..

i am going to Pak this December after 10 yrs and that too at my elder bros wedding so...

so things have been finalized unofficially!!!! yay!!!!..
:biggthumb

I should've slept more last night.. and now i am at work at 7am till 3pm.. and man am i sleepy.. i can't hardly even think properly to code anything.. sigh

this is going to be a long day.. and on top of it i have to go for blood test at 3...

question: does blood test nullify your roza?

i have had only 2 hours of sleeep in last 3 days.. sigh i am so tired kay i could just fall a sleep any second.. but gotta keep working.. finally aik acha project mila hai and i can't take the chance to not get it completed.. sigh kiya kiya karna parta hai apni khushioon ki khatir...

well i am off from my day job and now to go get some dinner and then get back to freelance work.. loud music.. that's how i keep up.. so if you have any good music suggestions please feel free to post...

now what?

I wasn't pro mush but I did believe that he was another "option" after what NS and BB did to the country. So now that we have finally pushed him over the edge. Lets see what "restoring" the judges will do, what improvments will occour now that mush is gone.

I am going to wait 3 months to give my next analysis on this whole situation. It will be good overview as well, since i will be in Pakistan after 3 months and would start a blog regarding...

So another 14 August came and went by. I am sure we all celebrated it in some sense, we all made a small promise in our heart to do something for this country and we all saw politicians making pledges to make this country the best.

The sad reality is that none of that is going to convert into reality. People are not going to be that better off by sametime next year. We are not going make any major advancement in our life.

So who is to be blamed?

- Musharraf...

i feel like we (desi ppl) make drama out of everything in life.

Zobia posted a thread in "All View" (i think) regarding her question to IK and how his response disappointed her. There was a bit of a discussion on how "nations get leaders that they deserve".. or somethign like that ..


anyways, I have been thinking. We desi ppl are so full of contradictions that I sometimes just feel yukkkk... haha

for example:

...

man things just can't happen smoothly for me can they?

so now there is an issue of hijab of all the things.. she wants to wear a hijab .. my family is ok with it except for the wedding day..

why do desi ppl talk in circles? why can't my parents simply ask her parents exactly what they wanna ask.. be over with it.. why does it always have to end up with .. "woh humari baat nahi manay gi kiya..?"

like hellooooo.. she has her reasons to wear a...