Beat

At times you just echo the sentiments of others because your own are so screwed up to coherently articulate. It is generally a very bad idea. But somehow every now and then it works.

World is an ugly place and every day or every other day it deals you a rough hand to remind you of its very nature. I think that the time of death and birth are so uncertain because that in itself reminds us how temporary the stay here is and the fact that we can get pulled off from this job without any due notices should tell us to make the most for hereafter. Pata nahi how we will get marked down or up.

My lovely little child who can now mashAllah manage to talk in make believe plays, often calls Allah tallah. Her conversation usually goes like this

Hello! Allah Tallah
Asalama laykom (utterly punjabi she sounds, an urdu speaking friend of mine always reminds me how i manage to speak urdu and english in punjabi , yea i know she is a prized cow! )
Allah Hafiz.

Sometimes i envy establishing that sort of connection with Allah Tallah myself. If only it was as easy a transit for us grown ups.Perhaps i hate the most is fact that i can never step out of questioning. Bano Qudsia once wrote that all the questions that she wanted answered, she never actively pursued the search for them. She just lets them sit in a corner of her brain and every now and then another piece of the puzzle falls into place leaving behind yet another head of medusa. I find she was on the mark. The more i search the less i know, the more i can wait the better it gets. Yet patience is as much a virture as a vice. How? dont ask, i dont think i will be able to articulate i am just echoing.