it is hard but it must run its course.

there are times I want to change it but lessons of the past stops me.

some might believe taking control is better but it can be nothing more than meddling with fate.

and so, I let it be.

because I'm not sure...

about anything at all.

settling into a blissful state of indifference.

not knowing what happens next nor how to prepare for it.

but can I ever really...

I see the Moon.

And the Moon sees me.

The Moon sees the One that I want to see.

God bless the Moon.

And God bless me.

And God bless the One that I want to see.

Why won't you just go away?

I guess it's because it requires more discipline on my part than anything really active on yours...

Just the same...

Would you just please go away?

It would really make life easier-- well at least mine...

And I hate it when there is still hesitation in that request when it should be a resolute demand...

Bad Habit...

Wish I never had you!

to sleep...
I really did.
Been wanting to write here for days but something always come up...
Life...
I even kinda try to mark it on my mind just how to write it and in the end sometimes it just doesn't matter anymore so I don't bother...
Is that maturity or laziness? LOL
I'm in my relatively content state...
This must be shared for they are few and precious.
I'm of a mind to get them as often as I can and whenever possible...
Books...
...

I love collecting quotes.

Have done so as a child.

I had this small notebook where I write them down with my sparkly purple gel pen.

I did it up until college.

I know I brought it with me when I settled in New York - just dunno where it is right now.

It's probably around - just have to dig thru my stuff.

It could be at my sister's.

Anyway, I'm liking the category feature - and that it still present as a continuous...

should sleep.
I know that but I can't.
I guess I haven't caught on with the time change yet.
Even though it's just an hour.
Or maybe because today i've been thinking of things I shouldn't be thinking about and getting frustrated about it.
Or maybe I just don't want to go back to work!
I guess being off for a week has spoiled me.
Or I don't want to deal with my report anymore.
Or I just miss talking.
About what's on my mind.
My best friend...

on my sofa for days now...
Why?
I caught Bronchitis...
Yup...
It wasn't enough that I thought i'd be known as the girl who coughed her way thru spring semester...
I wouldn't have minded that but catching Bronchitis close to Midterms week was so NOT my plan...
I was coughing for 3 weeks...
Allergy turned URTI - did antibiotics
Apparently didn't worked (duh- bronchitis) and so on to my second regimen of a stronger one...
And so that's why i've...

Yup...
I felt the urge again.
I notice that I get them when I'm very stressed.
So I scheduled to have it chopped yesterday...
My hair that is.
And it felt like such a load of weight came off.
But then so did most of my hair lol
And as if the universe heard my desperate cry for help that out of nowhere H called me to invite me for dinner and a movie.
Her mom and a friend (classmate from college - they had a roadtrip and H's Dad didn't come with them)...

I am...
I kinda expected it but then again it's another to actually go through it.
I feel a lil uncomfortable under my skin lately and it's unsettling.
I guess it comes with the territory when you play so many roles in life.
And as you step into each one multiple times a day with all the expectations and demands each one of them entail -- it's just dizzying, disconcerting -- exhausting..
Maybe I just need more practice, no?

trying to find my place under the Sun...

I thought i've dodged it but I guess not...
I've tried all the meds and it won't go away...
And now i'm regretting not getting that flu shot...
Though I swear the 1st and only time I took that (because my baby's pediatrician insisted that I have to since she can't get it yet) I got sick anyway...
I'm still hoping this is just seasonal allergy...
My throat really really hurts and i'm bordering on losing my voice now...
I'm whining because...
Well, I just...

I was dreading the fact that a professor that I had in one of my core classes for my masters was teaching a part of the elective class that i'm taking right now. He was a dead bore then and this particular topic now - being very technical as well as hands-on -- I was praying I'll learn something. But he surprised me, it was like he shined in this particular approach. He was even funny. And more than that, he was amazingly good as an instructor. I wonder if 4 years did wonders to his teaching...

I want that...
I really really want that...
Can I have it, please?
Please, Please, Pretty Please...
I want that!
Why can't I have it?
If they can have it so can I, right?
I deserve it, too...

Do you find yourself about to express a thought or emotion only to realize that you already have done so at one point in time?
And anything that you write now will pale in comparison to what you already have written before?
So instead of writing to recapture the essence of the moment, you dig back and find the one that did a long time ago.
You'd think that would be sufficient...
That it'll answer the need...
But NO...
You still find it lacking...
And you...

I woke up realizing I missed the passage of the New Year.
Fell asleep with my Baby waiting for it to come.
My sister told me she was trying to wake me up but I wouldn't budge lol.
Hopefully, I won't spent the whole of this new year "asleep." :P
It's a family tradition to be up at midnight and have a meal together.
This year we had it at my sister's.
I just realized how used to my own bed I am that I missed it so much.
Haven't slept over there...