http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/ The largest Pakistani Bulletin board and portal en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:06:22 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/ http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/65893-bit-blab.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:10:09 GMT I am missing my lil bro right now. In the last 2 weeks he has been subject to 3 moves. He was on I wing, then G week, then K wing and now bloody B wing. Idiots. Idiots. Idiots. I so want to be a criminal lawyer now :mad: defence one of course. At work im enjoying my new role. My team...haha.... I am missing my lil bro right now. In the last 2 weeks he has been subject to 3 moves. He was on I wing, then G week, then K wing and now bloody B wing. Idiots. Idiots. Idiots.

I so want to be a criminal lawyer now :mad: defence one of course.

At work im enjoying my new role. My team...haha. One girl is fresh of the BVC and has come on with a barristers hat on. But it doesnt work. Not in my line of work. I wonder if i was like that.....and then i think how old must i be....cuz i can see inexperience....and its really annoying when graduate kids come on with this i know all attitude and they dont even know the basics from a practice side.

But its nice to assist people like that...so im enjoying that.

I miss my bro
Dads in pak and i miss him too
Miss mum...
and this week its going to be 3 weeks till we go manchester....so thats bad...i need a dose of home at least 2ice a month.

Last weekend went to see my mate shazia....her parents house is like a mansion....with pillars n porches n pool room n stuff. the place had electronic gates.....so driving in with farahs car with a broken wing mirror was a bit hahahaah esp when the nob had sellotaped it round the edges....woh bhi cream paper tape thing as opposed to the clear one... nooooo lol Im quite the poor person me so i was like wowwww shazzzii show me around :D im cheeky...and get away with it....i kinda like that about myself :D

So anyways got her to show me all her house and then i complimented their ammi abbu and said that it mustve been a lot of hard work and was commendable....i like to get in with the aunty uncles too ;) hehehe plus when i see something nice i like to compliment....

so i suppose poor people are rich at heart eh :D my friend sofis dad got caugt up in murder case whilst in pak. hes innocent but banged up abroad. So shes gone to pak to try sort that out....so i invited her brothers over for dinner last night....got home from work at half 6 and got them to come over at 8.............they really help me out with zain. Like when hes ill and i have work they babysit for me etc and in a city where i have no family i cant tell u how priceless that assistance is. And since sofi and her sister and mum are all in pak...it was nice to be able to do something back but i am exhausted and stuffed now...

As of late id put on a few lbs. Nothing noticeable save my belly always felt horrible. been controlling my intake a bit .... but was naughty again today with 3 slices of pizza and pasta....at least is gone down from the 8 slices i had over 2 days last week :blush:

thank GODDD im blessed with a high metabolism though...even at my fattest blobbiest im cut a slim figure hehe

And i still need to be a good girl and eat fruit at some point in my life and drink water.

ok im feeling awful again after eating too much and i promise im never gona do it again and then i slip up ...its a vicious cycle i tell ya! right off to bed........having just had my 2nd coke can and 3rd slice...........................i hate the bedtmie routtinee though...have to factor in half an hour for all the darned ritualsss hmmppfff

finally before i shoot...having a right time getting his property back from the police though. There is a court ordering release of his property. his sols tell me they written to the police to ask for it to be released, the police have released it but the property officer requires a particular reference to even discuss it and the solicitor has archived the file and i think the police have lost theris and are referring me back to sols.....so annoying........i want the laptop back :mad: they took it with all zains fotos...when we come back from hospital and stuff,,. :mad:

I got the police officer to ring me up.....and he sounded like such a chav for one...and i know hes lost the reference but i didnt even want to fight with the guy because he sounded too thick to be fought with....i think i have to draft a couple of letters and fire in all directions now..... ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/65893-bit-blab.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/65441-tired.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:27:07 GMT i need some energyyyyy i need some energyyyyy ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/65441-tired.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64997-2-good-things.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:19:13 GMT 1) my bro had a civil case appeal yday. He was convicted on the criminal side, and civil....but appealed against civil and won :hula: I think it was nice sweet revege cuz he said the prosecutor got bollocked by the judge... :hula: just a bit a of a psychological boost. 2) we get to see him... 1) my bro had a civil case appeal yday. He was convicted on the criminal side, and civil....but appealed against civil and won :hula: I think it was nice sweet revege cuz he said the prosecutor got bollocked by the judge... :hula: just a bit a of a psychological boost.

2) we get to see him tomorrow at 2pm WOOHOOO :) ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64997-2-good-things.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64815-hurry-up-3rd-november-over.html Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:33:05 GMT I'm addicted to two things, or make it three....these are the staples of my diet

-yop - its a strawberry yoghurt drink. At minimum i have a full bottle...or most days 2 :)
- chakri sticks ....so spicy n delicious...like bombay sticks
and then theres jeera para...its like nimak paray but jeera para

i can not eat anything but i have to have the above...every day

its so baddd naa
i dont eat fruit at all...cant remember the last time i ate fruit...normally buy it then throw it away.....but with zain....its SUCH an effort for me to buy and wash and present it to him but shukar hea he loves strawberrys and grapes...and today he was eating a plate and he said to me....' mama, ka lo ' hehhehehe and offered me a grape :hehe:

I find fruit messy..too much washing and dirty hands involved and im already OCD with washing my hands all time so ....not goooodd..but i make the efffort for zain....bless him

My bro rings me now.....he rings every evening.....i have been through the grief stricken stage now....im more calm n serene but its an uneasy calm. Like my heart is stone and i dont let it get to me anymroe and no more tears come...and i question my own self as to why i am not affected...i want to be more affected but im not...theres just this void and blank space...and when we talk....like for example....him getting an industrial cleaning job.......he asked me to pray he gets it as he gets more time out of the cell.....and he did...first day today......and i was like oh wow...really good blah blah....but i knw its not good at all. Like not good him being there and him to have to get me to pray to get jobs like this......i think this strange steely emotion came frmo when i saw him cry. Something just locked up inside me and my minds not lettin it out.

I feel like such a witch of a sister...but i know im not. Me and T are pretty good sisters....we really go beyond and all out for our bros. God knows we care for like them anything...just a bit stumped on this one though

Started my new role as team leader...its my current role of legal advisor combined with managing a team of 4 girls :hehe: its only 4 people but one of them is someone who didnt get the team leader job....a competitor.....and rumour has it she looks down on people who do not have post grad qualifications.....i dont have post grad and she wanted my job...so i guess there will be some issues there heheheehe.... but i dont think there is an issue in the world that can get to me...im pretty smooooth like that :D

My son is asleep. He's so much hard work i swear.
He's smashed up my nokia fone
hes knackered the set top box for the cable
Hes been at the PC too...
And he was having a go at the cordless phone

When he gets daant and maar he finds it funny. He just laughs
so then i laugh and it just turns silly

He has the stupid names for stuff
'gogo' is dummy
'abai' is dawai
'paaji' is chaabi
anga is khala
amiya is allah miyah

and right now....this tired girly is off to bed....its so odd...i dont knw whether im a girl or a lady anymore....i am stuck in this girl mode....yet when i read papers n they refer to 28 year olds as 'women' i freak out.....i think blimey.....they see me as a woman..as a lady...im no longer a girl....but i still tell myself i am...:) or maybe my english is poorer than i thought....i have no sense of understanding the difference in the terms...

enough is enough now...must go to bed ...

keep me in ur prayers xx ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64815-hurry-up-3rd-november-over.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64654-1st-nov.html Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:34:23 GMT zains gone to mosque with his dad so have a minute to myself....watching a whale programme...and writing here at same time apparntly he stands with hubby whilst he reads namaz early induction :D even tho im not particularly religious myself n i dont read..its still a source of pride for me... zains gone to mosque with his dad so have a minute to myself....watching a whale programme...and writing here at same time

apparntly he stands with hubby whilst he reads namaz

early induction :D

even tho im not particularly religious myself n i dont read..its still a source of pride for me hehehehe

like his little pumpkin card he drew me for halloween...like the first bit of something he brought from me back from school

im still shocked tho..i hate england for its nursery fees......700quid and thats reduced cuz he turned 2 !!!!!!!

ok better run...the whale programme is getting rather exciting...all the males are thrashing each other hmmm lol ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64654-1st-nov.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64538-my-little-vamp.html Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:37:56 GMT This morning i struggled to get him dressed as dracula for his nursery halloween party. Parked outside the nursery to see another mum with her kids in casuals. Nearly had a heart attack. Surely i hadn't confused the dates and brought my son dressed as a vampire on the wrong day. Shukar hea...the woman had the fancy dress in a bag. Nearly died. Here is my cutey vampire
:kiss:

The most delightfully mischevious little boy ever MUAH


]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64538-my-little-vamp.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64016-met-my-little-bro-today.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:02:04 GMT I went to see my little brother today. Actually made it. I'd gone in thinking that he was happy....so to be honest there was no build of nerves or even sadness. Just taking it in my stride......got there, everything was fine cept the dogs....they get the dogs to sniff you...i was so freaked out...i closed me eyes ...shukar hea it didnt touch me but i swear...that was frightening....

So we enter......after, photograph, fingerprinting, ID check.......then another fingerprinting, stamp on my hand, through the security scan, then a wand scan, then a manual pat down, then another scan of my hand to see the stamp, another fingerprinting scan, the dog sniffiing.......

So after all the scans......walk into a large open hall. Like a canteen. All prisoners with red aprons on..........blank faces, looking in our direction in anticipation of seeing someone they know. Had to walk about to finally catch sight of my little brother. He didnt see us initially. Zain ran and fell flat, so i got him up...and sent him in the right direction and he ran off upto my brother......i was relieved cuz i didnt want him to have forgotten who his mamu was!...so that was nice. Then i went up and he cant even get up...so i just gave a him a hug and kiss and told him i had missed him .....and went to the front and sat down. He is thin, and pale, he had tears in his eyes and then he started crying...like not crying crying but when you lose control of the tears you are holding back....he blamed not having glasses was makng his eyes water a lot and how he had to go to the prison optiician....i pretended i was dumb and i had believed him. He had an allergic reaction to something......probs the sweaty handle bars of gym equipment the doctor thinks so he had raised swollen skin patches on his arms and neck and behind his ears...............not quite how i had expected him to be honestly...i thought he was fine. And it took ALL my strength resilience self control and focus to put aside the emotion and maintain composure. I knew that if i break down now........im gona lose it completely. So i had to fortify myself times a thousand......and make my heart into a little stone because...seeing your baby brother who is dear to you as your own child in that situation......you want to kill the world for it. You dont want no one to have peace until your loved one has peace......but that anger and helplesness...i had to put it aside.

I know that inside my heart is on the verge of having a little breakdown again and im nto letting it break...because my mind is saying no no no no must not break down....bt when i see that image of my baby brother....oh god, i want hell to be on earth for revenge.... ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/64016-met-my-little-bro-today.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63868-happy-birthday-zaini.html Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:29:03 GMT A job well done. I had a nice super organised time. Zaini was soo happy to see his khala.... she walked in and he was in shock, bounded about not knowing what to do hehe I look like a tranny haha...i always do lol dont know what it is with me I blame the mousse today. :( I normally use... A job well done.

I had a nice super organised time.

Zaini was soo happy to see his khala.... she walked in and he was in shock, bounded about not knowing what to do hehe

I look like a tranny haha...i always do lol dont know what it is with me

I blame the mousse today. :( I normally use laboratoire garnier, swear by it...nothing makes my hair look better...used pantene and i looked and felt awful.... sighs...


Funny thing is one of the guests told me how her 2 mates thought i was really pretty. And how one kept going on about it and flicking through my facebook snaps...lol lol lol lol ... i dont know what quite to make of that...course its flattering.. but a bit puzzling...im so not anything special

I had a nice time with zain though, pretty or not :D he loves his mami...he has been using his little dvd player...i finally videoed him dancing to gummy bear...just gotta figure how to post it here........

and because i looked awful i leave u with a pic of his prettier khala and him

]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63868-happy-birthday-zaini.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63788-grim.html Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:07:51 GMT Im thinking of writing a will. I dont have any assets though lol so i dnot really have much to give away. But wrongly or rightly...recent deaths have brought home to me just how fragile this life is. I dont want to die and for it not to be known what id have liked...esp when i have zain. have any... Im thinking of writing a will. I dont have any assets though lol so i dnot really have much to give away. But wrongly or rightly...recent deaths have brought home to me just how fragile this life is. I dont want to die and for it not to be known what id have liked...esp when i have zain. have any of you written wills? Wonder what requirements are for valid islamic will ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63788-grim.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63741-uh-oh.html Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:11:25 GMT ooooh im so excited...i always get excited about bdays...and its zain bday tomorrow....i have 2 and a half days off work for it....i get so excited over these thnigs.....i got his dvd player....got the tablet design...so no opening and closing lids...now i just need to pirate a copy of the... ooooh im so excited...i always get excited about bdays...and its zain bday tomorrow....i have 2 and a half days off work for it....i get so excited over these thnigs.....i got his dvd player....got the tablet design...so no opening and closing lids...now i just need to pirate a copy of the gummybear dvd...or pay 20quid for it..

got all the decor...have blown up some ballooons and been throwing them about....building up an atmosphere on our own :D

cant wait till all the cooking is done. gona make everything today to be ovened or fried tomorrow....and clean everything which is already clean cuz ive been meticulous iin casting an eye over things before n after work t reduce the workload...and then there is my new blue outfit...collared sherwani type shalwar kameez....nothing to kill yourself for...but certainly good enough...

i am happy today

i miss my little bro...wish he was out...so that my happiness would be complete...but he got moved to a different wing...laxer regime...more tmie out of his cell and more courses to do...so im content.....i love him....

i see my bro in zain.........cuz i can remember him being this age and bringing him up shuoting at him protecting him...and doing the same all over again with zain brings back so memories

XXXXXXXXXXX ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63741-uh-oh.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63695-sweet.html Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:04:02 GMT hrhhehe

zaini trys to wake me up in the momrning

mama mama
and im like go away im sleepy
then hes like mama and slides his hands under my back and says 'up,....mama up'

:hehe:

all my party attendees are backing down
legit reaons though

and its a bit of selfish of me to keep it during the day on a thursday when everyone works and has to travel 3 hours to get to me
but i like to celeb a bday on the day

may have to have another do in manchester ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63695-sweet.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63537-hmmm.html Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:16:35 GMT hubby goes pak on december 4th i dont think i will struggle without him,,,im really quite a strong girl...i do tons of stuff without reliance......my cousins came to stay for a few days and were really impressed that such a skinny person has so much stamina :D I have this brilliant... hubby goes pak on december 4th

i dont think i will struggle without him,,,im really quite a strong girl...i do tons of stuff without reliance......my cousins came to stay for a few days and were really impressed that such a skinny person has so much stamina :D

I have this brilliant ability...when i know i need to do something....i will keep going and going and going....my body will be tired but my mind is so awake and i push myself to the limit,......thats what its like been last few days...in preps fr zaini bday

Gotta have the house immaculate....started prepping n freezing the starters

Ive been up washing the rug this morning and cleaning n washing and i have to get ready and go to work....starting at 1

I miss little bruvver but sooooooo excited because we see him this saturday at 2pm

muah

Aur...my temporarily filling fell out.....well i have taken the pss with it.....its been 2 months,.,only supposed to last 1....gotta get root canal done now.....£500 :( ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63537-hmmm.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63408-extract-letter.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:55:06 GMT I recieved this today from my baby bro

''....Did you know when we were in court in the canteen when i got the keys of Tahira i went home, can you believe that? I seen Zain lying down with a duvet over hime, he was awake sucking his dummy, i kissed him 9 or 10 times as as i was walking out of the door i looked back..he was looking at me and tears came into my eyes, i bet you cant believe i went home from corown court, if you dont believe me ask mum, when i was going out of the door i looked at him and something was telling me that i was not going to see him again...''

:teary1:


That horrid day when we went to court, there were couple of things scheduled before us...but they'd asked us to get there by 10am. So they told us to eat and drink in the canteen....he did go out........for so long that his solicitor come running saying they were ready for him .....and i started ringing and texting him to get back up and go immediately to court cuz he didnt want to be late....i was secretly cursing at him for being so silly as to have gone to the car...i thought he'd gone for a cigarette or smoething....:(

Hubby continues not to be supportive...i dont think he quite grasps how bad of an effect this is having. Does he think im being dramatic about it? Or like going OTT? That letter killed it for me today.....been depressed since. But i try and get on and move about......and when he nitpicks on small things...it gets me sooooooooooo angry. Like cant that comment be kept back, just so i am able to think and breathe without extra stress.......like why are you changnig his nappy in that room? or he threw those crisps because you mus have put them there.....ARGHHH this ulcer, my bros situation, a nagging man......arghhhh ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63408-extract-letter.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63152-bits-n-bats.html Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:40:38 GMT So i dont think i can go to see him on zains birthday...its a thursday, we will be going manchester on friday. so on thursday just having a small do with some friends to mark zains bday. Feel a bit down but dont wana neglect zain in the process I got him a baby laptop, getting him a portable dvd... So i dont think i can go to see him on zains birthday...its a thursday, we will be going manchester on friday. so on thursday just having a small do with some friends to mark zains bday. Feel a bit down but dont wana neglect zain in the process

I got him a baby laptop, getting him a portable dvd player, will finally unwrap his first birthday pressie of a bike and fix it up for him, and mebbe some plastic animals. Hopefully these are things he likes........

I brought a blue suit to wear........

Hes wearing his orange kurta cuz i lost the eid snaps when he wore it so i wana take pix of him wearing it

nothing big...but hopefully enjoyable

My bro rang and told mum to do dua he gets moved to category d. T said he doesnt sound good. I feel awful. hubby was being so stupid and said that how come im havnig a party?
weirdo......i have to be encouraged to retain a sense of normality.....my heart is heavy....i feel burdened inside....but i have to do the day to day crap.....otherwise time would never pass...

Sometimes i thik my hubby has adopted my bad habits. All the badness in me...like i dont like sharing my food. Yeah :blush: I mean, i always ask everyone if they want something to eat but i dont like people taking from my plate when ive asked and theyve said no. and he does the same back...and i wonder why....cuz if u have a good habit of sharing, surely you should keep up with that?

Or sometimes when im awkward...he adopts the awkwardness...weirdo

when i drove to manchester and had a massive fight with him on friday i bit my lip and the ulcer is so huge and still killing......the pharmacist advsied iglu and said its better than bongela...but shes lyinggg......it doesnt last for hours.....and its not better :mad: ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63152-bits-n-bats.html http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63021-my-son.html Tue, 13 Oct 2009 08:42:58 GMT zain is the most entertaining kid hehe

He says mama...'shweeet, shweet'

and i say nahin zain, no shweets

and then puts one finger next to his face and says 'one'
mama 'one'

lol

and he has ten anyway :mad:

he has the cutest cutest dance moves...heheeh....im gona finally video him on his bday...dont do it regularly as dont get the time and have no videocam....but will get one of him and share

hes such a character ]]> *Disco~Duck* http://www.paklinks.com/gs/blogs/disco-duck/63021-my-son.html