Sighs.

I feel so down. I have an ulcer, bit my lip when i was driving to manchester because of a fight with my husband. He is the worst support you can have. I drove to manchester first time......and he was shouting at me for 'overtaking' when i actually 'undertook' and we had this whole language barrier and miscommunication going on ...i got sooo angry... and now i regret it, patience is better. Its less painful....ouch

MIL wants us to move back to denmark.........and...

What a horrible rollercoaster of a week.

On wednesday the visiting order arrived. Mum can't read english and bhabis were asleep so had to ring my friend across the road to get the visiting order and give me the reference so i could book a visit. The friend told a horrified me that it ONLY named the kids. I commiserated with T that due to the fact he hadn't put the adults down we were unable to go..........felt sht that day. But later that evening he called and said turn the page over!!!!...

Finally some good news.

I get to see my bro on Saturdayyyy ...yayayayayayaya

Who would ever think i would be so excited to go to a prison. But im super excited. Its housefull as well. Me, T, my elder bro, zain, ibrahim and my nephew nabeel....yayayayayayayay

Why am i so yay....cuz last time i saw him ...he was led from the box underground into custody. and im soooooooooooooooooooooooooo happppppppppppppppppppppppppy you cant believe......yayayayay...

I look such a mess. Untidy. Haven't worn make up to work in a few days. Normally i like to look neat for work. Sigh.

Zain is so cute. But i miss my bro when i see him. Cuz he is the original baby. And when i tuck zain up all warm and safe...it makes me think how my mum must want to do the same to her little one.

Husband is being quite unsympathetic. Apparently its a tactic to toughen me up! He doesn't know how mummyfied i have been to Tahir all my life. And his ending...

It's strange what we find consolation in when we are down. I bizarrely kept a roza today. Probably will try keeping one every friday. No logic to it. But fridays are meant to be special, so i'll keep one. I will also not eat pizza till he comes out and we can eat it together. He always, every night, got a take out...used to always get pizza. Esp. when i'm in manchester. Can't bring myself to eat it. Even though he told mum he wouldn't ring for a couple of a days i keep ringing to ask her if he has...

My poor little bro. Been a week today.

Going to buy him some monopoly and ludo so he can play with Raj.

He told T to send warm clothes as it is cold inside breaks my heart....my poor baby.

Most of all the ache that doesn't go away that is knowing that someone you love immensely is going through a tough lesson................................

Before all of this my major stress had been MIL wanting us to move back to Denmark.....and suddenly...

my baby bro got sent to jail for 3 years 4 months

totally a bolt out of the blue...

we didnt expect him to be found guilty, but he contradicted his own statements...never took the case seriously......and hes suchhhhh a kidd

was the hardest thing in my life

to listen to the fking judge tell him off
to see the CPS barrister the nob...wanted to kill him
i bet he was punching the air with delight....

i know i...

Haye, why does life just rush off....its like i never caught up since i turned 16 or something....

Every weekday its the 8 hour shift...the preps before and after nursery...the cookig...

every weekend its catch up with the chores or a trip to family in manchester

Hardly ever time to just chilllllllllllllll

But i suspect......the 5 days eid chuti is one nice way

I am off work....sick. Got up monday morning with temp and earache. Luckily my camera has arrived so has kept me occupied during my unwellness.

After a longgg break please welcome back bubbles ! lol hes big now

Here we are today...had to get him a chair out in the garden so he could peg the clothes



and he was luvving it so much had to leave him there to it for a while



dummy addict. he loves his dummy....

I was sorta half hoping they would just give me the job considering ive been there nearly 3 years but no....i have an interview scheduled at 2pm on monday. Competency based and presentation.....i suck at both. I dont make a good interviewee

Waisay i did have my pdp ( personal development plan meeting thing ) today.

Manager thanked me for remaining measured and calmed in stressful times and that many of my colleagues had noted how helpful i was to them...u know me, im...

I went to Tescos to grab some lunch and saw an old woman with a nuns outfit on clutching a charity box outside the entrance. She reminded me of dadi. I think i stared at her for a second or so lost in thoughts of my dadi and then she looked back and i shook myself out of it and walked on. I miss you dadi (hugs)

Zeni turns 2 in october. I wonder what to do for his party. I have lots of friends but none are in regular contact anymore and it feels pointless to organise a do for friends...

So yesterday i went to get zain and i had to sign the 4th incident form of his 10 months there. this time he scratched a child and also hit a teacher

I was naturally very embarrassed. I mean sometimes he comes home with little marks here and there and i never follow it up because i think there is an expectation that within a nursery, with other children he is going to hurt himself now and then. Plus i trust the nursery so i know its not abuse or anything like that. But anyways...

snails

Opened the blinds this morning to find a snail stuck to the glass. I thought you *******s have a way of finding me....remember the mice in sheffield? Khair, im learning important lessons about what to look out for when buying a property

-do am/pm checks on the character of the neighbourhood
-do a frikking nature survey to make sure your the only inhabitant of the house and not sharing with anything eeek

Anyways must admit...im highly disturbed...

I opened the fridge yesterday and zaini was all like 'uh uhh' pointing an saying 'nenay' to lena. Anyways....it was a jar of olives. Hehehe He loves olives. He eats them like sweets. And today he put hubs hat on and was doing sajday hehehehe. Hes so cute.
He has the cutest personality ....he hs this horrbile horrbile side though. Like gets soooooooooo angry. And he is like a tornado. He swings about and runs around the room till he trashes everythig. Terrible twos come reallly really early...

What a weekend.

I've been off work for 5 days kay? And uff tobah. We had basically black bagged a lot of stuff ( i.e. stuff a clothes and extra bits and bobs that we didnt have boxes for in black bags ) and they had been piled in zains room. The wardrobe disaster was finally seen to and he managed to put it together. My mami, my sis, neice and mamus daughter were coming to stay for 2 nights and i wanted things to be perfect but considering we were still in the stages of unpacking...it...