Taking a Pause to Ponder for a Bit...
It's all relative...
Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 01:22 AM by Lucid Chaotic
Just thinking whether our sense of happiness and desolation are mostly relative to what we see around us… moreover, the comparison happens to be with those who’re thriving in their lives rather than those who’re underprivileged.
It’s been almost 14 years since we moved to Canada. The initial few years were rather challenging and grueling - Parents had invested their savings in a business in Pakistan that didn’t do too well, and the rest went to immigration and moving related expenses. 16 at the time and as the eldest of siblings, I had to look for work – mostly multiple odd jobs at the time. I remember trying to save on bus tickets by walking more ; trying to apportion food so I could split it into multiple meals; and trying to find stints between my classes at University. My undergraduate years are mostly a blur since I worked multiple jobs while studying, and I don’t even know how I got through my studies – never managed to get good grades at the time since I was always struggling to meet deadlines and just study enough to make it through to the next level. My student loan money had to be used at home for things other than education related expenses.
However, looking back at the time, I don’t think I was unhappy though… there was a certain sense of contentment with what I was doing and how I was doing it. Sure, I’d have liked to have an unruffled time and been able to study more, but things worked out well. It was my work experience that kept leading me to better professional opportunities and ultimately graduate school which I still did full-time while working full-time – although by this time, I was more adept at handling workloads and managed to get better grades.
Today, when I look back at those years gone by, I feel like the struggle and the satisfaction went hand-in-hand. My struggle is still ongoing, albeit different in its nature and at a somewhat more sophisticated level, and I still find some time each day to get despondent for a while, but inshaAllah, in a couple of years, I’ll look back at this time too and tell myself that it wasn’t all that bad. Happiness and desolation may be relative, but it’d be better if they’re relative to our own life situations, and not measured against the opulence we see around us.
It’s been almost 14 years since we moved to Canada. The initial few years were rather challenging and grueling - Parents had invested their savings in a business in Pakistan that didn’t do too well, and the rest went to immigration and moving related expenses. 16 at the time and as the eldest of siblings, I had to look for work – mostly multiple odd jobs at the time. I remember trying to save on bus tickets by walking more ; trying to apportion food so I could split it into multiple meals; and trying to find stints between my classes at University. My undergraduate years are mostly a blur since I worked multiple jobs while studying, and I don’t even know how I got through my studies – never managed to get good grades at the time since I was always struggling to meet deadlines and just study enough to make it through to the next level. My student loan money had to be used at home for things other than education related expenses.
However, looking back at the time, I don’t think I was unhappy though… there was a certain sense of contentment with what I was doing and how I was doing it. Sure, I’d have liked to have an unruffled time and been able to study more, but things worked out well. It was my work experience that kept leading me to better professional opportunities and ultimately graduate school which I still did full-time while working full-time – although by this time, I was more adept at handling workloads and managed to get better grades.
Today, when I look back at those years gone by, I feel like the struggle and the satisfaction went hand-in-hand. My struggle is still ongoing, albeit different in its nature and at a somewhat more sophisticated level, and I still find some time each day to get despondent for a while, but inshaAllah, in a couple of years, I’ll look back at this time too and tell myself that it wasn’t all that bad. Happiness and desolation may be relative, but it’d be better if they’re relative to our own life situations, and not measured against the opulence we see around us.
Total Comments 16
Comments
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Beautifully put.Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 01:33 AM by Niksik
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Relative indeed. The one thing we can get out of this is to cherish every moment and enjoy it for what it is, rather than dreaming about the future where the grass would be much greener.Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 01:55 AM by Cheegum
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goody good, gives me some hope
Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 01:57 AM by Lafanter
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Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 02:04 AM by Dil Pakistan
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mash'Allah!Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 02:19 AM by cricketplaya
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I agree with you 1000%. When you're going through it though LC, it seems so hard, like you're never going to pull out of this phase of your life.
When you do get through, you look back and feel pride. You're proud of yourself and know you did really well.
Good stuff.Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 02:22 AM by PSquared
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Mashallah!Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 03:23 AM by AngelMist
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Mashallah you have come a long way LC bhai.. and soon enuff you'll look back and smile. I'm glad that you are amongst those that say 'Alhamdulilah' under all circumstances.Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 05:07 AM by Gina~ 
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Exactly as Gina put it LC , thanking Allah under any circumstances is the key to happiness and satisfaction.
you have put it in words so beautifully, what I have always tried telling some people around me that competing with the priviledged ones does not lead to ones success or satisfaction ... it only worsens the situation and one keeps falling deeper and deeper into the cycle ...
Being able to fight one's own struggles and coming out of it successfully is the true measurement of achievement and contentment
Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 05:59 AM by Chicken Biryani
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great post
they say gold has to go through fire to become refined, and i think every adversity gives us that opportunity. u just need to adjust ur perspective a little to see those opportunities.
i lived in the US for 15 years and i'm in canada since one year now. i didn't have the pressure that my parents did; but i definitely had to struggle to change my situation from a foreign student to a permanent resident. some days were very difficult, but when i look back, it feels good to see what all i have achieved on my own. not to mention the added confidence u gain knowing that u now have the strength to face anything in life.Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 07:18 AM by ~Namkeen~
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Great post LC especially this lineALhamdulillahQuote:Happiness and desolation may be relative, but it’d be better if they’re relative to our own life situations, and not measured against the opulence we see around us.Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 08:11 AM by UZ
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I read somewhere that struggles are exactly what we need in our life. Without it we would never know how strong we really are.
nice postPosted Sep 11th, 2009 at 09:02 AM by njgal
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See the thing is once you taste the honey, that feeling become part of you , you cant go back to not knowing what it taste like.
Working for some thing beyond every day life is going to be part of you. Its going to make you grow for ever and keep you happy. You know what.. make it "very happy"Posted Sep 11th, 2009 at 10:09 AM by Monk
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Great post LCPosted Sep 11th, 2009 at 01:18 PM by Nikka Kaka
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Thanks for the reassuring comments folks – InshaAllah, one thing I’ve learnt is to try not to be too myopic in my perspective on life… and that things have a way of working out in the end. What seems like the end of the world at a certain instance in time may not turn out to be too bad afterall. I pray to God to keep me thankful for all I have at all times inshaAllah. May Allah give us all the toufeeq to be grateful to Him for all His blessings and favours upon us.Posted Sep 12th, 2009 at 01:50 PM by Lucid Chaotic
Updated Sep 12th, 2009 at 03:38 PM by Lucid Chaotic -
Ameen..Posted Sep 12th, 2009 at 03:14 PM by Gina~
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