Happy Canayyda Day!

I honestly don't feel like talking to anyone at all right now. It’s not that I didn’t try. I did and it required so much of efforts that I eventually went into this crazy silent mode and failed miserably. I don't want anyone to know what I'm going through. I don't want anyone to find out what's wrong. I just feel like really shutting all doors on everyone. The very instant when I do feel the need to talk to someone, I don't find that person around. I understand people are busy in their lives and their own problems to deal with. I do not complain. I've learnt to accept this fact, like a lot of others, and have moved on in life. I don’t want and like to depend on anyone at all except Allah SWT. I’m fairly content with that, Alhamdulillah. I believe in talking to Allah ta’ala heart-to-heart. I know He listens. I know HE understands.

I ran into a minor problem with my lappie about 2 years ago. So upon contacting HP, I was advised to drain out the battery of my laptop. The technician asked me to remove the battery from the laptop, next to press and hold the stand by button for about 30 seconds. Once that was done, he asked me to recharge my laptop and resume using as normal. I tried it and it worked well. I think it's an awesome technique and just generally works amazingly with most electronics. As a matter of perception, I think it applies to human beings as well to some extent. From time to time, we need to drain out our batteries and recharge ourselves to keep going. I think it makes an overall difference on our functionalities too. I need that in my life Ya’Allah

Moving right on, its July 1st. Happy Canada day! It's always nice to have a day off to do things and then again being able to not do anything. I slept in today and finally caught up on the much-needed sleep. I love making breakfast. I guess it's more so the love for cooking speaking than anything else. So I scrambled eggs, toasted a slice of bread and made some tea. Once I was done eating, I spent some time cleaning up and organizing my room. After Zuhr, I started studying for IFC. I aimed to finish off the first module but wasn’t able to do it. I don't know why things happen with me at times when I really need to focus on studying. It shifts my attention completely. I, normally, have been able to ignore things and people off quite well particularly in the past few weeks, but in some cases, that's just not possible. I had an excellent opportunity to study a lot more since I was home alone and really there was nothing to distract. But...

*sigh*

I know one thing about me by now; I generally am able to function better under stress and when I've a deadline to meet. Strange and unusual, I know but that's how it is. Because of this I find myself in such a bizarre predicament; my standard reaction to all this is being unmotivated. I know I know, it's bad but really I can't help it. I can't go on like this. Something HAS to give...

I've a few things on the go right now and I've a few short term goals. I just wish time would fly by and I unfold the next few weeks to find out WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? The anticipation builds up and I'm getting restless day by day. I am trying my best to hold myself strong and keep going till I can. It's almost 11. I'm sleepy. I'm thinking of going to bed soon after Isha.
Adios Amigos