( :*) heard this after years...everything has paused within me)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKMPf737pp0&feature=fvw



Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai
Ki jaise tujhko banaya gaya hai mere liye
Ki jaise tujhko banaya gaya hai mere liye
Tu abse pehle sitaaron mein bas rahi thi kahin
Tu abse pehle sitaaron mein bas rahi thi kahin
Tujhe zameen pe...

I am missing those wonderful years of college life

it was so much fun back then being with friends in classes, getting stressed over exams, hanging out after :d every class for couple of minutes, matching your schedule with a friend's so you could spend more time doing nothing, working in library :d and chill.

old days.

I MISS ST. JOHNS.

they are around the corner and i have this huge project coming up but i dont feel like working on it.

i want to run away.

i think panic attacks are on its way

(EXAMS)


nia needs to get off gupshup and do her work.
[i wanna play some of those games in the game section.. i love some of them.. lets see if i can beat a guppie on it]

I have been thinking about that moment when my mom will come in the room to take me outside towards the wedding hall.

Gosh just that thought brings tears to my eyes.
I think best thing will be not to make an eye contact otherwise that makeup will be washed away (I hardly ever cry, my philosophy is make everyone else cry but when i cry-- I CRY).

I can imagine myself in my lehnga and holding on to a table, chair or a bed.

any sugestions girls?...

I recently went to this gathering where after few mintes i realized i wasn't really invited towards certain crowd. (reason: Not married yet).

I guess since i cant talk about kids, husband or sas baho episodes yet i am not from that crowd.

You know its so true we claim to be totally American with few drops of desi blood in us but yet we all act like a pure desi knuckle heads from inside (stop pointing fingers at me you know what i mean).

Anywayz after...

Ami ji is serious now!

abh to shadi ho ke rahey gi *yikes*

sometimes something pauses within me.

Turning 27 this year! i guess its about time.

kabhi kabhi merey dil mein
khayaal ataa haai
......

Years ago i started to drift away from the world of shair--o-shairi. I always thought expressing yourself in a peotic way was very attractive.

I wrote 2 poems a day atleast and then call up all friends and make them hear my painful words. It was nice. It was fun.

But now i cant write.

After every few weeks one or two lines would pop up from some where and then booom i go though that brain freeze zone.

for example

Muhabat...

haan wakehi...
jortey to asmano mein bante hain.

I believe by the age of 25 we have all fallen in and out of love atleast once. Majority of the time in a decent family things don't work out because of family;or shall i say parents.

In past few months i have seen few friends who have shattered in tiny pieces in a heart beat. They didn't have strength to go forward and accepted that rejection their parents gave them towards their relationships.

...

Nani ami passed away few years ago; i was very young to understand the meaning of having grand parents in your life. and about 2 years ago i lost my dada abu and dani ami.

I became very close to my oldest khala after nani ami's death. We would talk for hours on the phone. She would give the best advice she possibly could. My heart felt at peace whenever we finished talking. Khala kept on asking me to come down and meet in Pakistan for years but my life had all the plans against me....

My sister came over and shoved a box on my face.

As i flipped it had wedding invitation for her from her friend. The reason she gave it me was to come up with some ideas for my card.

As i pulled out the card [it was that roller thing]. I felt brain dead for a while.

I thought of something similar while ago but things have changed now.....

we are talking about wedding dresses these days.
Mom and sis are talking about when to leave for Pakistan
Discussion on gifts is going on
What type of arrangements


planing planing and planing

Abu ji hasn't been feeling well for almost a week but alhumdullilah today he felt much better.He scared us all but shukar hai he is good.

but during this entire week it clearly showed me who are my true friends?

One friend showed up first day as if he/she did ehsaaan on me and didn't bother asking or keeping in touch after that.

Then another one i called in middle of night cause i needed to ask them something. I guess they were sleeping but if i see...

Wedding Planning has begun....

everything inside me seems paused!

It pisses me off so bad when people dont call back and to cancel the plan and leave you in middle hanging.

I mean i understand everyone has things to do. We all got issues that we have to deal with and sometimes you have to cancel the plan. But what pisses me off is someone gives you a rough time but does not follow up on it.

So i made another change stopped expecting people to be there for me it shows a lot about them. How responsible they are?

just...

They say it right that old is gold...


I meet up with an old friend who i know for over 10 years at this piont yesterday. It was nice to have dinner with her. We decided to skip the movie just go to the dinner and chat.

WELL WELL-- i meet her after a while and we all have changed. We started to talk about our highschool days.

Gosh i have changed so much.

HS days were awesome.