Something Strange
Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 06:47 AM by PSquared
Today I was out with my mom apartment hunting and just touring the area I want to move to eventually. We stopped and picked up some lunch to have at home and I was about to jump on the highway when my mom said she wanted to stop at her friend's house for 5 minutes. No problem. She told me she wanted to see her friend's mother who had been visiting but will be leaving for Pakistan soon.
Now, I know this aunty very well because she is responsible for my fiance and I being together. She hooked us up. And her mother is like another grandmother to me. She is the funniest woman you will ever meet! Always used to hug me and say "Bas, tumhe dulhan bane huwe dekhna hai". At my sister's wedding, she was right next to me singing and even kicked all the guys out so us girls could dance later on! One COOL woman and just a darling.
Today, I walked into my aunty's house expecting her to do the same. I totally expected her to "daant" me and ask me where Ive been and how come I havent come over yet. But when I stepped into the family room, I was shocked. She was just lying on the couch with half her face covered and didnt move when I sat down next to her. I was confused because her eyes were open so I took her hand and she squeezed it really hard. I asked mom what was wrong and she just mouthed to me "she had a stroke". I didnt know she had a stroke and started to tear up a bit but wiped them away quickly because I didnt want her to see me crying. I took her hands and started to squeeze them back and asked her if she remembered me and she didnt. Man, that hurt. So I laughed it off and started talking to her about the time she had come over and made me sit on my sister's bridal chair so some of that "luck" would rub off on me. She smiled a little. Then I reminded her who my fiance was and I saw a light bulb go on...she remembered a little more. After that, we talked to my aunty for a few minutes and I just sat with her. She cant talk or walk anymore and didnt want her to feel like she wasnt part of the conversation.
While I was sitting there, I looked at her hands. They are just like my precious nani's. You could see small veins running through her delicate skin and her fingers were long and slender. Holding back tears was getting a bit harder. All of a sudden she reached up and kind of touched my face...to tell me she remembered. I was happy now and teased her about it. "How could you forget me?"...lol.
My mom came upto her a few minutes later and said "Ammi iske liye dua karein, mein iski shaadi karrahi hoon". So, she reaches over and puts her hand on my head. That was it...I could NOT hold it in. I cried like a baby and just kept sobbing and sobbing. I kept remembering her, her dua, her hugs, her kisses, all of it. My mom just held me.
You keep moving forward thinking you've dealt with it and it will get easier. It does but that doesnt mean you miss the person any less. You pray for them, think of them, even follow what they say but you miss them telling you to do it. I miss being my nani's bacha. There are days I want to find her, crawl into her lap and just forget everything.
You miss the words, the presence, the security, most of all their unconditional love. You miss the games, the lectures, the "daant", the apologies, the pearls of wisdom and the stories of a time long gone.
May Allah swt grant ALL of our grandparents a high station in Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen. May Allah swt forgive their sins and accept their prayers. Ameen.
Now, I know this aunty very well because she is responsible for my fiance and I being together. She hooked us up. And her mother is like another grandmother to me. She is the funniest woman you will ever meet! Always used to hug me and say "Bas, tumhe dulhan bane huwe dekhna hai". At my sister's wedding, she was right next to me singing and even kicked all the guys out so us girls could dance later on! One COOL woman and just a darling.
Today, I walked into my aunty's house expecting her to do the same. I totally expected her to "daant" me and ask me where Ive been and how come I havent come over yet. But when I stepped into the family room, I was shocked. She was just lying on the couch with half her face covered and didnt move when I sat down next to her. I was confused because her eyes were open so I took her hand and she squeezed it really hard. I asked mom what was wrong and she just mouthed to me "she had a stroke". I didnt know she had a stroke and started to tear up a bit but wiped them away quickly because I didnt want her to see me crying. I took her hands and started to squeeze them back and asked her if she remembered me and she didnt. Man, that hurt. So I laughed it off and started talking to her about the time she had come over and made me sit on my sister's bridal chair so some of that "luck" would rub off on me. She smiled a little. Then I reminded her who my fiance was and I saw a light bulb go on...she remembered a little more. After that, we talked to my aunty for a few minutes and I just sat with her. She cant talk or walk anymore and didnt want her to feel like she wasnt part of the conversation.
While I was sitting there, I looked at her hands. They are just like my precious nani's. You could see small veins running through her delicate skin and her fingers were long and slender. Holding back tears was getting a bit harder. All of a sudden she reached up and kind of touched my face...to tell me she remembered. I was happy now and teased her about it. "How could you forget me?"...lol.
My mom came upto her a few minutes later and said "Ammi iske liye dua karein, mein iski shaadi karrahi hoon". So, she reaches over and puts her hand on my head. That was it...I could NOT hold it in. I cried like a baby and just kept sobbing and sobbing. I kept remembering her, her dua, her hugs, her kisses, all of it. My mom just held me.
You keep moving forward thinking you've dealt with it and it will get easier. It does but that doesnt mean you miss the person any less. You pray for them, think of them, even follow what they say but you miss them telling you to do it. I miss being my nani's bacha. There are days I want to find her, crawl into her lap and just forget everything.
You miss the words, the presence, the security, most of all their unconditional love. You miss the games, the lectures, the "daant", the apologies, the pearls of wisdom and the stories of a time long gone.
May Allah swt grant ALL of our grandparents a high station in Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen. May Allah swt forgive their sins and accept their prayers. Ameen.
Total Comments 16
Comments
-
ameen
Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 07:07 AM by cadet018
-
awwwwwww May Allah give our grandparents a place in janat ...Ameen.
And gud luck gurly 4 ya
Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 07:14 AM by Anonima
-
aww ameenPosted Jan 14th, 2009 at 08:25 AM by K337
-
you made me tear with this post
ameen to the dua. summa ameen.
your post reminded me of my mil's best friend's saas. after i got nikkahed, i went to fl to my inlaws and met that aunty (saas) at different dawats. she had gone through the same thing- stroke and didn't talk much or recognize anyone. i was meeting her for the first time but everyone else there was sad and feeling so bad about what had happened to her. supposedly, she used to be quite talkative and all. then again a few months later, i met her at a dawat, held her hand, she put her hand on my head and that was that. i even have a picture of her with my mil and her friend. about a month ago, we found out that she passed away. the doctors had told the family a few days earlier that she wouldn't survive any longer now when i look at her picture, it just makes me so sad Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 08:25 AM by Pareezay
-
ameen
Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 08:27 AM by ~Namkeen~
-
:swh: your blog reminds me of my grandmother. Her liver failed and in her last days she couldnt talk or move. I witnessed her last breath in my dad's hands.
You have great writing skill BTW
Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 10:15 AM by Lafanter
-
Ameen to everyone's duas. Shay, its the saddest thing. She doesnt know what happened because it happened in her sleep so she tries to ask people...why am I like this? She cant sleep because she is afraid.
Laffy, its the craziest moment when you witness something like that. You dont want to believe it.Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 10:27 AM by PSquared
-
ameeeenPosted Jan 14th, 2009 at 01:39 PM by Berhi_Bee
-
PSquared, reminds me of when my dad suffered his stroke..
i had been married for 3 days and I was in Lahore.. and we had planned to visit my parents and all other relatives in Gujranwala... from about 11am onwards my cousins were calling me and insisting i come as early as i can "cus they miss me.." and i was laffing.. my hubby decided we'd drive back alone without anyone else.. when we got to Gujranwala, noone was at home but one of my mumani's and one other cousin i cant even remember.. i asked where dad was and the rest of my family.. and noone said a word.. after awhile they said dad got a bit sick so they've gone to the doctor... so they said they'd take us as well...
we get to this shabby hospital and i was getting nervous about what was about to be seen.. when we finally opened the door do the room, i remember seeing my dad on this shabby bed and he just looked at me and gestured for me to come over.. i looked at my bro.. and he was crying like i'd never seen him before and my dad just held onto my hand soo tightly.. there were about 15 people in the room... all crying.. and when i realised he couldnt say my name, i just died.. a piece of me just died...
everyone kept saying hes going to be fine.. but he couldnt move his right side.. he was paralysed...
the hardest thing for me (and for my siblings and mum) was that he couldnt recall our names.. he knew what we meant to him, but couldnt identify our names... my mum was the strongest out of all of us.. but the day i had to go back to Lahore, i remember he couldnt say her name.. and she walked out of the room and bawled like ive never seen her do..
3 years later, after working his brain like crazy.. he's prob 90-95% cured.. Mashallah
He is one of the brightest lights of my life.. i love himPosted Jan 14th, 2009 at 05:00 PM by sadzzz
-
The crazy thing is, my dad had 2 major strokes and one minor one also. I can imagine the helplessness you and your poor mother must have felt. May Allah swt give all of our fathers good health and happiness, Ameen.Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 06:56 PM by PSquared
-
awww pssquared,
i got all teary while reading this. May Your Dua come true.Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 06:56 PM by MiamisweetheartX
-
Ameen PSquared...
It was a very volatile time for us as a family... the first time my dad had an attack he was by himself in a hotel in Malaysia and while he was in hospital he wrote notes in this tiny notepad for us to read incase he didnt make it.. i remember i had a huge lump in my throat when he showed us the notepad..
my dad is a real sweety... if im ever concerned or upset, i just look at him for reassurance and he will ALMOST ALWAYS give me a smile back so say "u silly thing.. everythings ok.."
Bless our parents... May Allah give them a long and healthy life.. and may their kids always be there for them for support and love..Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 07:03 PM by sadzzz
-
Ameen! Fathers do that, dont they? They just make sure things are running smoothly and we dont need anything. My dad is almost 95% better also now, Mashallah. It took years of physical therapy and so many doctors visits. He had openhe heart surgery on my birthday 3 years ago too. Now, he is doing much better, he drives and does everything he needs to on his own. Mashallah. We still worry but he is independant. Inshallah our parents will always be there, healthy.Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 07:12 PM by PSquared
-
My dad didnt have any surgery.. he Alhamdulillah recovered from the paralysis quite quickly but the part of the brain the got affected caused a lot of depression and uncontrollable emotion.. like he would get upset really easily.. but Mashallah with the motivation he's had and the ability to get back onto his feet, he has done really well. He still mucks up words here and there.. but no big deal. We're just lucky to still have him..Posted Jan 14th, 2009 at 07:20 PM by sadzzz
-
Ameen to all the duas. and may Allah(swt) protect our grandparents from the torment of the kabr and the torment of the hereafter. Ameen
P.S. consider yourself lucky for having to experience those feelings and the presence of your grandparents....some of us haven't had those priviliges. i miss my nani eventhough she passed away when i was 5, don't remember her much but from the stories mum tells me, im sure i would've been a spoiled brat if she were alivePosted Jan 14th, 2009 at 09:47 PM by XChorniX
-
First of all AMEEN to your du'a.
This made teary eyed.. My grandfather is in hospital atm because of severe pneumonia, and has had a few strokes before. His condition is worsening and today I even got told he has become so weak that he has to be fed through a tube. I am holding myself back whenever I am with him in the hospital, but it's so hard. I don't want to think about what can happen... I just want him to come home again...Posted Jan 17th, 2009 at 12:58 PM by ChiLLyMiLLy
gupshup
unplugged
society
arts & cul
features
services
