perspective
Posted Jun 29th, 2009 at 09:56 AM by ravage
Perhaps I've made this point before, but perhaps thats what blogs are for, to say and say again what drives your thoughts and actions.
Whatever you experience odds are it is only so powerful in motivating you, in making you desperate, in making you lose control, because you are involved in it. If you saw someone else in the same situation you could imagine a hundred ways they could react better, solve the problem more easily, cope with feelings without hurting someone else's. And you would be right.
It is not about finding strategies to cope better or live happier. It is about contextualizing what you are going through in light of true struggles and misery. Hunger, rape, death, humiliation, exploitation.. each of these words placeholders for unspeakable loss and helplessness endured by millions each day.
If you have a full stomach, have a roof over your head, and have the benefit of parents, family and friends, can speak, can hear, can walk, can run, can breathe without being on a ventilator and still find a way to indulge in self pity, try asking the hungry, the raped, the people who saw loved ones killed and couldnt stop it to empathise with you.
When I am not careful I imagine these people as ambient bodies populating an environment where only I am the agent of relevance. A few years ago, well a decade ago now, we had a teaching assistant who taught us to write our first bit of programming. I cant remember his name. By the time I graduated, he was in America. When I came to Los Angeles, we heard he got into an accident, broke his spine, and was permanently paralysed. He was an only child. I remember getting emails about how the one thing he most needed was company, that he was lonely, all day on the same bed, in the same room. Five years on, how many remember Amir? We have all moved on. Have our daily minutiae to deal with. He is still in that lonely hospital room, with all his and his parents unrequited dreams and expectations that we rarely imagine as existing.
It is not enough to send flowers or support to the unfortunate in their time of suffering. If we wish to respect their loss it is important to moderate our own everyday reactions in light of what they go through and what we may also one day have to feel.
Whatever you experience odds are it is only so powerful in motivating you, in making you desperate, in making you lose control, because you are involved in it. If you saw someone else in the same situation you could imagine a hundred ways they could react better, solve the problem more easily, cope with feelings without hurting someone else's. And you would be right.
It is not about finding strategies to cope better or live happier. It is about contextualizing what you are going through in light of true struggles and misery. Hunger, rape, death, humiliation, exploitation.. each of these words placeholders for unspeakable loss and helplessness endured by millions each day.
If you have a full stomach, have a roof over your head, and have the benefit of parents, family and friends, can speak, can hear, can walk, can run, can breathe without being on a ventilator and still find a way to indulge in self pity, try asking the hungry, the raped, the people who saw loved ones killed and couldnt stop it to empathise with you.
When I am not careful I imagine these people as ambient bodies populating an environment where only I am the agent of relevance. A few years ago, well a decade ago now, we had a teaching assistant who taught us to write our first bit of programming. I cant remember his name. By the time I graduated, he was in America. When I came to Los Angeles, we heard he got into an accident, broke his spine, and was permanently paralysed. He was an only child. I remember getting emails about how the one thing he most needed was company, that he was lonely, all day on the same bed, in the same room. Five years on, how many remember Amir? We have all moved on. Have our daily minutiae to deal with. He is still in that lonely hospital room, with all his and his parents unrequited dreams and expectations that we rarely imagine as existing.
It is not enough to send flowers or support to the unfortunate in their time of suffering. If we wish to respect their loss it is important to moderate our own everyday reactions in light of what they go through and what we may also one day have to feel.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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, heartwarming; but good... please keep it coming, blogs like these act as reality check and keeps us groundedPosted Jun 30th, 2009 at 12:41 AM by adeeba
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So what was Amirs name again?
But seriously
"paida huwai toh azaan huwi mare toh huwi namaaz...itni si zindagi ka bhala kya kare koi"
The only perspective we need is that life is too brief to be spent in lamentations which inevitably lead to nothing. That if we are just temporarily congealed particles of straying dust then our pain and our happiness is less than the sand on the beach which has longevity and purpose that we can only dream about.
We need to live to be good, to be happy. The rest is just gravy. I think that is the only testiment we can be to those in pain. The hope that happiness also exists in obscure forms somewhere.Posted Jun 30th, 2009 at 09:41 AM by hitchki
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I think it was Amir, maybe Amir Khan. Hm yea i think i might be a bit of a downer when I wrote that saw a horrible pic.
thanks adeeba.Posted Jun 30th, 2009 at 10:27 AM by ravage
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