effort

being married... i know, that i put in a lot of effort to keep the relationship going. To not let it deterioate.. if we have a bump, i will talk to the hubby (aka, do is head in) until i have the problem resolved. sometimes, i find myself yelling like a churail and screaming like a mai (only when we're alone) to make myself look silly and hopefully gain the sympathy of my loving husband...

my husband, has always pointed out that in the past 4 years of marriage and 5 years of knowing each other, i have always put in more effort.. more than him, but having said that.... he does put up with a lot of my mistakes too... mistakes that he wishes i wouldnt do again, but in some round about sorta way, they do happen.. AGAIN. And this is when we argue. Well, he points it out... i get upset and then the whole hoopla starts

Sometimes, i think, he would be so better off without me. Without the silliness that i create.. its unnecessary and just stupid.... the sad thing is.. the issues on the outside are sooooo trivual... yet deep down, they matter sooo much for both him and i... cus it all comes down to understanding and communication.

We are both such perfectionist in this matter. We both want close to 100% understanding. Thats where the problem is. When things like this come about... he'll say, "forget it... no point..." I know he doesnt REALLY mean it... but it hurts me SOOOOO much. Cus i know for both of us, this is the key thing in our relationship.

I do try my ever so best for things not to happen again... and seriously, on a scale of 1-100.. the issues that come up are prob below the 10 mark... lekin as i said, cus they have A LOT to do with communication and understanding.. they become more like high 90's.

kya to do..

only one thing to do..

try again and again.... until we get it right. Cus there is no such thing as leaving... for either one of us.