Death of a loved one.........

Posted Mar 24th, 2009 at 01:11 PM by Simply Seema

The worst feeling about the death of a loved one is not the disbelief you get when you first hear abt it, it's not the hope of them getting up when you see their dead body, it's not the indifference you feel when you see their janaza taken away, it's not even the heart ache you have, when you have to accept all of it.

It comes way after that may be it even takes years to get to that feeling, but it just happens on a random day when you are like doing some mundane task when the realization strikes you that, that you have forgotten how their touch felt, how their voice sounded, how their eyes shone,how their laughter filled the room and your life, how they used to inspire you to reach for the stars, how their smile use to brighten your day, how they stood by you in every step you took.

And the worst of all of these feelings is the fear that you are going to forget them eventually, that you are not going to remember any of them with out even trying to forget them. That feeling is the worst, it cuts you from inside, the guilt, the misery, the shame it all adds up and you feel inhumane.

It's not a big deal that you didn't made any monuments for them or wrote books on their lives but you could have atleast remembered them, that's not a difficult thing to do right. But you are so selfish, so self absorbed, so stone hearted that despite what ever they have done for you, you have forgotten them just like that. Those who hv passed away would have never done the same to you, they would have treasured you for ever, they would have made sure that you remained alive because they had loved you, they really had. They didn't deserve to be dead instead it should have been you.

That feeling is the worst of all....

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	Touched my heart with every word .. its so true ...
	Posted Mar 24th, 2009 at 01:26 PM by Chicken Biryani

	soo true
	Posted Mar 24th, 2009 at 03:00 PM by Berhi_Bee

hi seema, long time no talk! just a coupla weeks ago i came across pics of the meet we had a few yrs back. it's good to hear from you.

my nani passed away less than 3 months ago. i am still going through these feelings, so i know where u are coming from.

i'll just say that don't let these fears and negativity spoil your memories of the person. when u think of them, you should smile and ur heart should fill with love... not guilt and sadness and fear... although those are natural feelings. don't be too hard on yourself.. just from reading this entry, i can tell how dear that person was to you... i don't think you will ever forget them. it's just that we who are left behind have to keep living.. we have to carry on with grace for the sake of those who depend on us to be strong.

i find that the tears come unexpectedly when something i see or hear triggers off a memory of the person... but a couple of incidents helped me get my life back on track. one, i got married; and two, i saw a friend's very cute new born baby.. and it hit me that if there are tragedies, there are also things to celebrate, and we ought to take things in stride. vaisay bhi our deen decries extended mourning, and for good reason. just seek solace and strength in prayers.

feel better *hugz*

Posted Mar 24th, 2009 at 08:53 PM by ~Namkeen~ ~Namkeen~ is offline

Wow did you write that all yourself? You captured all the feelings and raw emotions one goes through with such beauty.... every word written above is 100% true. And its a sad reality of life. Personally I make sure I go to bed saying a prayer for lost loved ones every night, so theres no chance of forgetting them. I hope it stays like this forever even when I have a family of my own and other responsibilities to take care of.

Posted Mar 24th, 2009 at 11:13 PM by Skittlez Skittlez is offline

Hi Namkeen,
It's good to hear that u got married, I didn't had any idea abt that owise I cid hv congratulated u earlier na. Any how wish u alllllllllll the happiness in the world

n thanks alot for the encouragement na

Waisay u know I dun cry, I dun even rmbr when was the last time I cried on sum thing serious happening. I do believe it's very healthy 2 do that but I dunno y I just can't do it, may b I m totally screwed up

Posted Mar 25th, 2009 at 12:43 PM by Simply Seema Simply Seema is offline

	SkittleZ, I do pray for them but u know it's just that it's torturing 2 just realize that those luvd ones are not important to me any more as they were earlier, as they are suppose to b. sum ppl try hard to forget all abt such incidents and I have just forgotten with out even tryin that makes it worse.
	Posted Mar 25th, 2009 at 12:47 PM by Simply Seema

Da title made me have a look....

just contributing my thoughts SS...

hmmm...to b honest ...it all depends on how much important n close that person was to u....sumtimes it takes years for ppl to revive from the shock which hits u hard with the reality of life.....n its takes time to come back to life again...n even then every passing days does remind u of them...i dont even have words to describe it...i always get lost in oblivion for the right words 2 explain the heart aches <-- even this is isnt the rite word to explain da true feelings....but u have to learn to move on...wid life..wid da same vaccum...

Posted Mar 25th, 2009 at 05:31 PM by tinker85 tinker85 is offline