GupShup Forums - Blogs - Simply Seema

Growing up

Simply Seema — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:39:20 GMT

Is so over rated man :(
still
tx ev 1 4 wishin m birthday

She can laugh na *faintsssssssssssssssssss

Simply Seema — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:32:47 GMT

My neice Eeman in my dad's lap, she's in Riyadh :(

Death of a loved one.........

Simply Seema — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:11:01 GMT

The worst feeling about the death of a loved one is not the disbelief you get when you first hear abt it, it's not the hope of them getting up when you see their dead body, it's not the indifference you feel when you see their janaza taken away, it's not even the heart ache you have, when you have to accept all of it.

It comes way after that may be it even takes years to get to that feeling, but it just happens on a random day when you are like doing some mundane task when the realization strikes you that, that you have forgotten how their touch felt, how their voice sounded, how their eyes shone,how their laughter filled the room and your life, how they used to inspire you to reach for the stars, how their smile use to brighten your day, how they stood by you in every step you took.

And the worst of all of these feelings is the fear that you are going to forget them eventually, that you are not going to remember any of them with out even trying to forget them. That feeling is the worst, it cuts you from inside, the guilt, the misery, the shame it all adds up and you feel inhumane.

It's not a big deal that you didn't made any monuments for them or wrote books on their lives but you could have atleast remembered them, that's not a difficult thing to do right. But you are so selfish, so self absorbed, so stone hearted that despite what ever they have done for you, you have forgotten them just like that. Those who hv passed away would have never done the same to you, they would have treasured you for ever, they would have made sure that you remained alive because they had loved you, they really had. They didn't deserve to be dead instead it should have been you.

That feeling is the worst of all....

):

Simply Seema — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:26:09 GMT

I miss khi n my family
wanna go back 2 mom :teary2:
I hate it here :teary3:

She chose to.....

Simply Seema — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 03:21:02 GMT

She chose to walk alone,
though others wondered why
Refused to look before her,
kept eyes cast upwards towards the sky
She didn't have companions;
no need for earthly things
Only wanted freedom from what she felt were puppet strings
She longed to be a bird, that she might fly away
She pitied every blade of grass, for planted they would stay
She longed to be a flame that brightly danced alone
Felt jealous of the steam that made the air its only home
Some say she wished too hard;
some say she wished too long
But we awoke one autumn day to find that she was gone
The trees, they say, stood witness;
the sky refused to tell
But someone who had seen it said the story played out well
She spread her arms out wide, breathed in the break of dawn
She just let go of all she held...and then she was gone

My Tournament

Simply Seema — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 00:56:39 GMT

:snooty: I m so tired mannnnnnnnnn, every single bone in my skeleton seem to curse me. I had told instructor jessy dat i won't b appearing for the test but he's always like "Come on u can do it Maam" ya rite na!!
I was so irregular with my classes for past three months due to the ramdhaan, exam n then tis stupid sardi :disgust: , come on I didn't even knew my form clearly. It was difficult having that knife chop n loadz of snap kcks but inst. jessy neva listenz. He always show so belief n faith in students dat u jus wanna go over there n give ur best shot even if u r dying of lack of breath :sadiyah: . dat reminds me I hvn't got the result of my exam yet it's more then 2 weeks now acha hi hay, I can njoy till then :D .
Any how I went for this promotion test n as usual got late coz the trains were not running so had to run n jump all the stairz, was so breathless when i reached the school. bt luckily the grand master was not there yet so inst. jessy strtd the regular warm up. I really hate him when he take the class, he's so hard na, will ask like 75 push ups n full splits only in the warm up ya rite na :hoonh: any how i was so exhausted jus by the warm up that didn't wanted 2 go thru the test even but marta kya na karta kay musdaaq had to do it.
so then it strtd with the initial basic forms n all the kicks, I messed up the double roundhouse kick coz had missed that class, i didn't even knew any thing of this kind even existed :bummer: , then our specifc forms which i goofed up in the end instead of doing it the block n kick i did the punch n kick, which i believe jessy noticed as he had such a frown on his face :emmy:. I was so sure m gettin an achi wali :kursi: frm him afterwards not to mention 100+ crunches n push ups for it. Then finally khuda khuda kar k breaking came, for my belt level I had to break the board wid an axe kick. inst. opel ask us to do practice two times n then go for the actual kick. When my turn came i tried like 2,3 times but dat stupid board bhi na toot hi nahi raha tha :frusty2: . The instructor who was holdin the board was lookin so bored then suddenly inst. jessy came n took the board frm him, stood in front of me n said to me "come on saima this is ur last chance n i know u you can do it," n with a loud scream i did it na. with a snap the board break in two, inst. jessy said to me "nice scream maam" n given the boards to me. After 1.5 hell hours the verdict came. I knew i hv messed so much n so ready to spend another three months with my green color but then my name was announced n they said i hv been promoted to the blue belt level, not only that i was also given an honor student card for the most improved student, wat? r u kiddin me. but had 2 rush 2 get the belt frm grand master owise inst. jessy wud hv asked to do another set of pushups.
After gettin out of skool i treeted myself with a mega hot chocolate with loadz if cream on top ( to hell wid da calories man, i deserve it :snooty: ) . Came 2 home, cleaned up my room, bhai asked me 2 go 2 da movies n i said no, coz i can't stand indian movies much, cleaned up the drawing lounge, cleaned the kitchen, took a bath, put sum daal on stove ( I'll b making daal chawal today with chicken wingz) n now m writing this entry. Come on I hv 2 vent sumwhere na. Hey they r showin LOTR -1 on TNT. m off now man, dun mind watchin dat movie again n again
adioz dear journal for another hmmm couple of months

Motives working behind Mega Mergers in UK Banking Industry

Simply Seema — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 01:43:58 GMT

I hv completely wasted 4 hrs n hvn't wrote a single word for the thesis. Saray rukay huay ultay seedhay kaam aaj hi yaad aa rahay hayn :smack:. I hv watched the stupid Z drama "jub luv hua", replied some century old mails, paid bills online, did some research for my next shopping :blush: even i m writing this journal entry on GS after agez lekin majal hay jau thesis k baray mayn kuch saucha bhi hau ( khair i hvn't done any thing in the whole month tau wat can i do today na). koi hal nayi is procastination ka lekin ab wat's the need of procastination when I hv 2 submit the 1st n 2nd chapter of the paper by tomorrow nite n now m feeling kindda sleepy :yawn: lemme try 2 find some reasonable bahana for tomorrow 2 tell the instructor n me off to bed na.
m 200% sure k hamara kuch nahi hausakta :clown:

Dealing with Death

Simply Seema — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 03:11:36 GMT

It never had been easy for me, espacially if it's one of my dear n near one. I just don't know how to react or what to say or what to think even. Just a feeling of numbness surrounds me and then it seems like a part of me has also died. The worst part is that I don't even cry no matter how big is the loss.

I was in office today doing my regular work when I received the call from my brother's number in saudia. He was asking about bhai jaan's where abouts and I said k m not sure may be he went for jumma prayers that's why he's not picking up the phone. Then my brother said to me "Baajjo Pakistan mayn Dada Abba ka Intiqaal haugaya hay, Papa ki tabeeat buhat kharaab hay, bhai kau trace kar kay forun papa say baat karwao taa kay wauh unhayn tassali day sakayn" and the line dropped,and I just sat there without any emotion or feeling inside drawing lines on the gantt chart and trying to reach my brother. After 1/2 an hour I finally got hold of him and forwarded the message which he received with a loud "NAAhiiii, kaisay, kab" and finally "Inalilah-e-wa-inna-Ilihe-Rajayoon". Bhai Jaan is lucky he's not insensitive like me.
I finished my work at the regular time n took the subway back home. While sitting in the subway an elder man came an sat beside me. He resembled so much like my dada, the same fair colour, gray eyes, straight posture, authority figure and the same softness on face. I kept looking at him and then flash backs passed by. As a kid I remembered dada abba never came home empty handed, he always brought some thing for us kids whether it was some fruits or candies or even sum kishmish k daanay and then he use to distribute it evenly in all the gathered around kids.
I remembered how he used to say "Aray nahi kehtay, Aji kehtay hayn" he's the one who had put the word "Hum" in our mouths. And oopar say unki khatarnaak dhamkiyan "Plas say pasli nikal loonga agar aainda aisi harkat ki tau", phew man i still remember i used to get frightened in my sleep just by the rememberance of those threats. I had never seen a gentleman like him in my entire life. Duniya idhar ki udhar haujayay un kay rakh rakhao mayn kabhi farq nahi aaya. Chahay president bhi un say milnay kyun na aaya hau wauh jab tak properly dress up nahi haujatay thay bahar nahi nikaltay.

I got so indulged in the flash backs k didn't even noticed my station passing by, when I realized it was already late so I got out and started walking towards home. Then I remebered dada abba's walks in our balcony. He use to stroll in our balcony waiting for us until every one of us reaches home safe. During the stroll in the morning he used to put food stuff for the little chiriyaz around. Our home used to be filled with all those chirp chirp noises of the unwanted chiriyaz which used to annoy us alot. Hey I also rememberd once dada Abba had a phadda with the kawas who used to sit in the nariyal tree. The tree was just in front of his room, ab dada abba jab kamray say bahar nikaltay those kaway used to "kaw kaw" shru shru mayn tau dada abba used to ignore them lekin phir baat baad mayn yahan tak puhanch gayi k daunaun parties mayn baqaida mushaira haunay laga. Dada Abba kamray say bahar nikaltay hi kawoan kau sunana shru kardaitay n kaway un k har sawal ka proper job daitay.
Finally I reached my home, did wazoo, prayed some niffal for his soul and recited Quran. Then I called my dad up on his cell and when I heard his voice i was lost of words. I never had been good with condolences, It seems so hard to find the proper sentences which can sympathize the other. I just asked him to take care of himself coz he's a heart patient himself. He told me k the funeral will take place tomorrow as my chachu n his family are coming in from dubai. May be it was the bad line or some thing else but dad's voice seemed so broken, and I felt so bad for myself. How can I be so rude and emotionless. Every body has been so effected by the incident wile I am just doing every thing as I use 2 do every day. Mum told me that dad and the other family was with dada on his death bed and dada remembered every one individually including me and bhai jaan who are in U.S, faisal who's in Saudia n Jimmy who's in U.K. He didn't forget any one just like when we were kids and he used to distribute the goodies evenly in every one even saving the hissa of those who were not present. I even had a brief talk with dadi maan but mostly i just said Yes, Ahaan,aap apna khayal rakhiye ga dadi maan and that's all.
After putting down the phone I again forced my self to be a little emotional if atleast not cry but nothing happened. It only seems like that I have an emptiness inside. I know death is certain, I know every one of us will face it one day then what's all the fuss about. I remembered my last meet with my dada when I was coming to U.S. He ruined my hairdo by passing his hand over my head and said "Bait itni duur tumhayn bhaij tau rahayn hayn lekin tum apna khayal rakhna". I think he didn't followed his own advise much. May Allah mian grant his soul rest and peace for the life afterwards.
I know I hvn't been a good grand daughter but I am going to miss his candies,his threats to take out the pasli by a plair, his frowning on the roti not being narm, the twinking in his eyes when ever he use to receive us on the airport, his fruitless efforts to keep us speaking urdu and his smile that use to tell us k ab dada abba ka mood accha hay, aap un say chaand sitaray bhi maang lau gay tau mil jayain gay

Aik tau yeh mairay bhai bhi na

Simply Seema — Wed, 31 May 2006 23:07:34 GMT

inheyn nayi nayi cheezayn soojhti hayn.

I was missin family very much so he took me to rock climbing :smack: I mean yeh bhi koi insanoan k karnay ka kaam hay ya tau chipkaliyan aisa karti hayn ya bandar n I doubt k aisi koi characteristic hum mayhn payi jaati hayn. chalau lay gayay i dun mind dat lekin unhoan nay hamayn oopar bhi charha dya I mean bhala koi baat hay :grumpy:
I said m nay oopar nayi jana i gotta fear of heights man lekin wauh bhi mairay hi bhai hayn he said to me " mayn nay 25 $ kharch kye hayn ab tau tumharay achay bhi oopar charhayn gay"
kahan phansa dya maula :bummer:
khair i tried bari mushkil say coz har thori dayr baad hath rakhnay ki jagah khatam haujati thi n i use to :aj: all the way frm top lekin bhai bhi total ignore.com thay. khuda khuda kar k after doing up n down 3-4 times i wasn finally able to reach da top n i got chutti nayi tau oopar hi latki rehti.

Jab k bhai hamaray aisay cheetay hayn k aik minute mayn zoom say oopar aisa lag raha tha sari zindagi yehi kartay rahay hayn :hoonh: infact i rmmbr he was tellin m k he's also goin wid sum grp to conquer some stupid pahar i 4go10 da name of. chalau I am fine jub tak I am not going wid him

who ever is responsible for these starz

Simply Seema — Sun, 28 May 2006 16:33:03 GMT

tx alot na
i mean i dunno wat sum 1 will like in tis journal, i hvn't even got 10 entries in there na :confused:

Finally

Simply Seema — Sun, 28 May 2006 03:21:58 GMT

her valima took place. waisay in my personal opinion she looked more pretty in valima as compared 2 her shadi day nayi????

I took off her nose ring, it was not suiting her bilkul bhi dat day. Faisal is really a lucky guy na

may they get the very best in life. Yesterday she had sent me her honey moon pix frm malasya n sumwhere else n they really seemed happy :hug:
I wish them all the luck in their upcoming lives :)

Her Big Day na

Simply Seema — Sun, 28 May 2006 03:14:01 GMT

:clown: Faz's nikah was a day earlier in muhallay ki masjid so it was just the rukhsati dat I have 2 attend. I asked Kims 2 pick me up frm home s dad was not feelin well n kims s usual late :mad: uskau hamaysha 2 ghantay pehlay ka time dayna chahiye. btw I luveddddd da dress I was wearing aik tau i neva had worn mayroon color before dusra it had dat copper coloured antique work on it :love:
khair kamal bhai aayay n v sat again for bahadurabad as the wedding was in sum lawn over there. When v reached over there @ 10:30 tau pata chala k dulhan is still @ home n baraat hvn't arrived yet. I met faz's brother @ the doorway who said k faz is waitin 4 me @ home so he'll be droppin me home. When he dropped me home tau faz sahiba full fledged tayyar baithin thin n :mash: say chaand kau sharma rahin thin. I locked the door frm inside as per her brother's instructionz n strtd thinking how time fliez na. Last time i came 2 tis place was 5-6 months ago on faz's dad's funeral n now came for her wedding.
Again it was just me n her, I shoot sum pix of her n mmsed to faisal jab k their was no point as he was on his way 2 da haal

gathered all her stuff which she suppose 2 take wid her along wid da commentry of kis nay kya kya pehna hay, kaun kaisa lag raha hay. Then finally before baraat reached I have to take her 2 da halln finally us kau escort karnay ki duty khattam haugayi *phew*
I met so many ppl espacially GEO say itney saray laug aayay thay whom I hv either met in faz's office or had seen em on TV channelz often. Zee even brot his family 2day n i just luv his daughter dua :kiss:

being da 1st child of our grp khasay priviliges hasil hayn sahabzaadi kau, she's always found in any 1 of our laps. Zee was the first 1 to get married frm our grp dat's y her daughter is darling 2 every 1 of us.
Faisal gave me a golden bracelette for the joota chupayi n finally Raat k 1:30 bajay da rukhsati took place. After wards i changed partiez frm dulhan walay 2 dulha walay :cb: but ziada faida nahi hua as faisal had booked Sheraton for their night instead of his place :smack: so v just dropped them @ hotel n returned back :hoonh: . I dunno na, i dun like tis trend much of going to the hotel, I m still in favour of going to the groom's place n do all those rasms wagaira lekin I m a lil wierd so who carez na :snooty:

Guzishta say Pewista

Simply Seema — Sun, 28 May 2006 02:48:49 GMT

n finally she did got married :)
I had 2 delay my U.S departure just 2 attend her wedding warna faz n faisal daunaun mayn is baat par fite hauti k who's going kill me :D
khair they decided 2 hv a single mehndi+mayoon for both bride n groom. The venue 4 dat was faz's unkil's place in bahadurabad n it was decorated by faiz's bhabhi :k:
I reached her place with mum n dad bhagtay daurtay coz had been bz all day shopping. She was lookin so sada si so cute :kiss:

dat's me n her, she kept me sittin beside the whole ceremony :blush: didn't even let me dance on luddiz 4 which v had practiced so much.:naraz: yeh tau khuda khuda kar k Faisal laug came @ 11:00 n faz had to cover her self fully in dupatta. phir un sahiba ka naya nakhra shru k she wants 2 see Mr. Faisal frm under her ghungat :smack: I mean how m i suppose 2 do dat na ????
khair i went 2 faisal n other guy friendz of mine, shoot his pix frm my camcorder came back 2 faz n shown her under da ghungat daunaun auntiez ki aankh bacha kar. When Faisal's Rasam strted I came inside wid faz n then I n her had dat yummy khana peena inside n did G bhar k batayn until mum called frm outside @ 2:00 n reminded me dat I have office 2morrow :grumpy:

bhangra dalin

Simply Seema — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 09:15:46 GMT

I just returned frm juma` prayerz n had a conv wid faz my friend for past 4 yrz n she had given such a zabardast si newz na. Luckily she's in lhr attendin sum conference owise i cud hv directly went 2 her office n wud hv given her a :hug: myself.

In our gp of friends v r like 2 galz; m n faz n 3 guyz; kim, faisal n zee. v were wid each other in BAF 4 around whole 4 yrz, despite being in different departments our cartel was very well bonded. By sum coincidence v resigned @ da same time n now each 1 of us is workin in a differnt firm :teary2: . But da best part abt it is k even after 1 whole yr v still hang out s a group. Da treets, dinners, bowling, hanging around, coffeez etc. is still da same s it was earlier. v still share our future plans, office prblmz n other stuff wid da gp even b4 discussin it wid family n the situation didn't changed even after zee's marriage n kim's engagement. good 2 hv friendz like dat around na :).

khair dat was prelogue of da reason 4 which i strtd 2day's entry, now came 2 da point ki baat i.e. faz just told m dat her n faisal's family had finally agreed 4 their wedding n they'll b bonded 4 eva :insha: in March 2006 :bhangra: tis is such a gr8 newz na coz earlier there were certain issues b/w both of da familiez. Mostly they were related 2 Faz being older then faisal, faisal being da only bread weiner (sp?) for his younger siblingz, faisal's mum being afraid n insecure of havin a parhi likhi, mature, independent ( in her own words Taiz wa Tarrar ) bahoo. :alhamd: all of these matterz hv been sorted out.
I m so happy 4 both of em na, may Allah grant em all da better in their livez.
haan now i hv 2 start plannin regardin wat shall i b wearin 4 their tareekh rakhnay ki rasm :bummer: , i hv been so out lately of all this shadi biah ki parties due 2 my own engagements dat i dun even know wat's IN nowadayz :crying:. One thing is 4 sure k faz will b such a beautifull bride na :queen:, she looks so luvly simple si hi tau definitely she'll b a killer in her bridal dress.
2day is friday n on fridayz v get looooooooonger breaks 4 prayerz n lunch so most of da office is empty rite now + v hv got office only frm mon-fri so ev is v casual 2day. faz is outta town owise v wud had taken lunch 2gather. I hv already drank my juice n said my prayerz so it's kindda borin rite now wat 2 do na :S

Da HR is planning to go 4 Crabbing on 30th coz afterwards Ramdhaan will start so i hv crossed my fingerz 4 dat s it's goin 2 b my 1st experience. let's c wat happenz na

Tired

Simply Seema — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 10:43:52 GMT

i just wanna go home rite now, had been so tired seemz like hvn't slept for ages, on monday night I was awake whole night being shab-e-barat then yesterday had 2 go out wid guppiez in da evening. I bowled mostly wid a 12 number ball despite qamar's advise 2 play frm a lighter ball, so my arm ached whole nite ( mashwaray pay amal na karnay ka anjaam :( )

From 2day khurram my boss is on leave so had to take care of the stuff in his absence. At 11'o clck i went to ABN AMRO's head office, those ppl r so silly na. They had put my name as "SAZMA KHAN" instead of "SAIMA KHAN" on da credit card :smack: n when i asked them 4 da correction they said no need 4 dat :S . It's not dat k i dun like SAZMA but it's just dat k i dun wanna get into any legal implication afterwardz, My collegue was advising me to do all da shoppin i want n then deny being da owner of da card but m such a shareef si bacchi na :halo: so i had to go to their head office to lodge a complaint over there.

da best part abt today is that k i'll be going to home early i.e. i have to reach before Maghreb prayerz coz mum told m she wud b makin all those pakoray n other stuff 4 iftaar :yummy: so she asked me to com ehome early ; yesterday i had opened my fast with an apple juice in pizza hut :bummer: so i'll leave office :insha: before 5:00. I kindda like these sh`aban rauzay very much, seemz like v r practicing 4 Ramadhan.