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    1. #1

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      Lajawab's Avatar
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      I have always been ferociously independent and have always loved solitude...I loved my freedom and did whatever I was able to do, which was all mostly stuff which really doesn't concern you...I lived large, literally like the prodigal son, but a couple of years ago, loneliness hit me like a sledgehammer between the eyes and for the first time I felt a sort of pity for myself and my life...

      I actually thought of never getting married, for honestly, I never knew what kind of a lady it would be that would put up with my tantrums and stuff, but I knew it would have to be some very unfortunate soul to become my wife...I never thought about marriage, period, but in a couple of years, all my friends got married and now have kids...Most of my friends are younger than me, and as I held their kids in my arms, I yearned for kids of my own...

      I came to the States about 9 years ago and have been living independently since...I live in what is known as the 'Bible Belt' of America, or midwest...I loved it here...No buildings, no traffic, rustic settings, fresh air, greenery, everything a man like myself desired and needed...

      My first job even before I got out of college was great...Had my own office, my employers gave me money to decorate my office as I wanted, (which I decorated in Arabic style with curtains and all)...I had left college for my job at that time...A year into my job I decided it was time for me to finish school and get my Bachelors so that my worth increases...I asked my bosses to hire me parttime and assign me to work from home so I can finish my degree, but my bosses said, either I work full time in the office or I don't work at all...I opted for the latter to finish my degree and left my job...That was three years ago before the recession and me kicking myself for leaving the job...But that was Allah's marzi and it had to happen...

      Now I have graduated, working for three years from one dead end job to another and craving for a family of my own...Brother Ameen, who is from Bangladesh, keeps nagging me to get married, and keeps telling me, 'brother you don't need money to get married, the girl will bring the money with her'...And like always he would tell me his story how he got married without a penny, and like always, I have to smile at his simplicity...I hate to tell him that even if the lady I like decides to get married to me, what about her parents? Won't they have a say about marrying someone who works dead end jobs?

      So I have decided to move to Connecticut where my sister lives for three reasons...One being that being close to my sister, who is my closest friend and confidante, would ease the lonesomeness that I have started feeling and second, the job market is a lot better in Connecticut than in the midwest, not mention that Noo Yark is just an hours drive away and third, there are quite a few good families in Connecticut with quite a few good sisters...I'll probably get a small time job, even if it's at a gas station, get married and pursue my masters, which hopefully will guarantee me better employment opportunities...It would be great if my wife is doing her masters too, that way I can have a study partner...

      A fourth and hidden agenda is that InshAllah, I would be moving with a different mindset than when I arrived in the States, I have tried to better myself, and hopefully, I shall be more responsible with my life, InshAllah...

      I will probably be moving the middle of this month to start my life anew...By thursday most likely I'll disconnect my cable and phone and everything, so when I stop posting, you'll know I have left...Who knows when I return if ever, because this time InshAllah, I have a lot to achieve...

      The reason I am posting all this is that I wish all you brothers and sister to make Dua for me...Right now...Take like ten seconds out of your life right now and pray for me and my success...Come on, do it......JazakAllah, and thanks...

      And if ever you remember me, pray for me...Just nine words: Ya Allah, give Lajawab success in his endeavours, Ameen...I don't know if 'Ya' would be considered a word...

      I'll be here till then, maybe I'll talk to you guys from Connecticut, InshAllah...

      Focus not on who you are but what you do...
      ])>:::}-:Salams:-{:::<([

    2. #2
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      good luck brother
      ive considered leaving so many times but i think my niyat is ok so its ok...but i can understand ur dilemmas....it would be sad if u just left tho...do keep dropping by if you get the chance and if bhabi ji allows u
      i pray for your success inshallah. if i'd been in the US i would have surely helped u out in finding a good sister from Connecticut.
      you were a voice of sanity here...your presence will surely be missed...
      Rab Rakha brother :-)

    3. #3

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      Lajawab's Avatar
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      Thank you Irem, I can truly count on your sincere Dua, and not to mention, it being accepted By Allah :swt:, for he listens to kind people...

      DS: for the Duas man, Ameen, and the same Dua from me to you, Ameen...

      It is said in a Hadith, that when a Muslim prays for his brother, the Muslim's guardian angels pray for him too...

      You two are also super guys on GS...I have always loved reading what you guys post too, and no doubt, I can count on your sincere Duas... for the kind words, and Ameen...

      Couple of things which I failed to mention:

      If you already haven't surmised, jobs are scarce in the midwest, not always, but this recession has hit this region the hardest, hence the need to move to a more lucrative locale...

      Second, if there are some guppies here from CT, get in touch with me man...I might need your help and 'jugaarhs' in your State...

      Thanks again all...
      Focus not on who you are but what you do...
      ])>:::}-:Salams:-{:::<([

    4. #4
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      actually...

      what the heck... :S

      dont leave bro

    5. #5
      "ik parhee likhee jahil"
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      Wishing you all the best

    6. #6
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      Lajawab - it’s depressing to hear that you will not be posting here for sometime. To me, you were the best in Gupistan as you did not hesitate to state the truth even if it made you look very unfashionable. To me you were one of the Ghuraabba [Strangers] here on Gupistan.

      I bet the Secular Brigade here on Gupistan must be rejoicing to hear that you won’t be posting here sometime.

      Well, surprise them soon by carrying on where you left off.

      you were a voice of sanity here...your presence will surely be missed...

      Lajawab, you are one of the few good men here, I pray for our success !! Insha Allah you will succeede. Ameen !
      So true!

      I pray that Allah (swt) gives you success beyond your expectations in all spheres of your life. Ameen

    7. #7
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      Lajawab,
      May you have the best of things in the future. InshAllah!
      with faith and hope and the right intentions good people do end up in good places. all the best wishes and prayers.

      and, please dont leave!!! come on. there's no reason you should. we need good people here.
      everyone thinking of leaving, dont you dare!

      and Irem,
      youre NOT leaving!


    8. #8
      Fayz

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      Originally posted by Lajawab:
      I actually thought of never getting married, for honestly, I never knew what kind of a lady it would be that would put up with my tantrums and stuff, but I knew it would have to be some very unfortunate soul to become my wife...
      I feel sorry for that unfortunate soul.
      I'll pray for your success. Its good that you have started minding your business for a change.

    9. #9
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      Originally posted by Fayz:

      I feel sorry for that unfortunate soul.
      I'll pray for your success. Its good that you have started minding your business for a change.
      That's a bit harsh

    10. #10
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      Harris thanks bro :-)

    11. #11
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      Dear brother Lajawab..I am so sad that you are leaving...its like Gupistan would be empty without your beautiful posts... Yet I am happy that you are taking a new initiative. May Allah grant you success in this life and hereafter. I guess, today would be a sad day, that i read this post.........


      Take care and best of luck! Allah aap ko hamesha khush rakhay!

      Fi amaan Allah!

    12. #12
      Sherni

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      Lajawab WISH you all the best from my heart -

      ALLAH :swt: tannu harr cheez wich kamyaab karan tay tannu harr khushi labbay, amin

      I hope you will be back

    13. #13
      Sherni

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      Originally posted by Fayz:

      I feel sorry for that unfortunate soul.
      I'll pray for your success. Its good that you have started minding your business for a change.
      WHOZ gonna change the world then?

    14. #14
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      Originally posted by Fayz:

      I feel sorry for that unfortunate soul.
      I'll pray for your success. Its good that you have started minding your business for a change.
      “Amar Ma'ruf Nahi Munkar --- Do not hate the Truth

      The one who is being warned of the evil in his actions, needs to guard himself from the characteristics of arrogance and denial of truth, or to say to the person who reminds him: "Mind your own business!" Also to say something that reflects hatred towards the Truth will incur Allah’s Wrath on that person. Allah tells us in the Qur’aan:“When it is said to him, "Fear Allah," he is led by arrogance to (more) crime. Enough for him is Hell; an evil bed indeed (to lie on)! ” (Surah Al-Baqarah verse 206)

      And the person who enjoins good and forbids evil will have no more obligations after performing his task. If he is hurt or opposed in turn for his advice, he will acquire a greater reward from Allah. Thus, a true Mu’min needs to be patient and non-complaining.

      In the process of performing one’s duty, one needs to intend in his heart to save himself and his fellow Muslim from sin. One needs to imagine oneself trying to save a fellow brother/sister Muslim from a tragedy like a fire, or drowning at sea. In actual fact, in the task of correcting another person’s mistake in the field of his religion is much more important and a priority.

      Destruction and failure in one’s Faith that causes Allah to be angry is worse than the destruction of life or property whereby its risks are only limited to this world that is fana`.Destruction of worldly material things has no standing compared to the destruction and corruption of one’s Faith. Verily, the person who enjoins good and forbids evil has made an effort to save a fellow Muslim’s soul, regardless of whether his advice is taken or not.

      In relation to that, it is told that on the Day of Qiamat, there will be a person who will depend on another and the second person will not recognise him. So, the second person will say, "What is wrong with you? I do not know or recognize you!" And the first person will reply, "Yes, you have seen me before indulging in munkar and bad deeds, why didn’t you warn me then?"


      In a Hadith:
      "The people who stand within the limits (prescribed by) Allah and those who transgress it are like people sharing a vessel (ship) at sea. Some of them occupy the top part of the vessel and some below. The people on the lower part of the vessel, when they need to get their supply of water, needs to pass by the people who are staying on the upper part. It crossed their minds: If we make a small hole at the bottom of the vessel for us to get our supply of water, then we do not need to trouble the people on the upper part.

      If they (people on the lower part) were to be left to do what they desire and fancy, everyone on the vessel will meet their destruction. But if they were given guidance, then, everyone on board the vessel shall be safe."



      Meaning: People who enjoin good and forbid evil, a task that Allah has obligated us with, has not only made an effort to save their fellow Muslims but also themselves. If we prefer to ignore and keep quiet when we are able to do something, then we are blameworthy and have sinned.

      In addition, those who undertake this honorable task are those who are seeking and hoping for Allah’s Rewards and Promise that have been given to anyone who upholds his religion and obeys Allah’s Commands. "O ye who believe! If ye will aid (the cause of) Allah, He will aid you, and plant your feet firmly." (Ayah from (Surah Muhammad)”

      May Allah (swt) accept brother Lajawab's efforts and reward him accordingly.

      I think there is a hadith to the effect that in later times the ones who will be calling the people to the Truth (Islam) will be mocked. But such people are very dear to Allah (swt) and His Prophet (saw).

      Brother Lajawab - I think he's just leg pulling in a jest.

    15. #15
      Whats Up Doc?
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      hmcq's Avatar
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      Well although there may be a scarcity of jobs in the midwests, there are still plenty of jobs to be had if you can focus on what you want, and prove to the employers why they need you. I would suggest (whether in CT or in the mid west) you should put your information here and see if you can connect with anyone else who may be able to help you out.

    16. #16
      قادمون يا الاقصى
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      bao bihari's Avatar
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      LAjawab bhai may ALLAh shower u with HIS rehmat and give u success in life......

      meray bhai hum moulvi gang kay log akailay rah jain gay..bhai kubhi kubhi to aa jana....


      Copy what ibn e siddq and islambad has said........same sentiments as mine....
      لا عيش إلا عيش الآخرة
      Punish TTP

    17. #17
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      Doing masters will not ensure you better job oppurtunities, the companies are not willing to pay more for what they might view as an overqualified person. I think you should search vigourously with your undergrad degree, when you get a job, work for two or three years, and then go for a masters. Trust me, there are always oppurtunities. One semester ago, it seemed I would not get a job when I graduate, but I actually secured a job whilst in my graduating semester. However, it will be a new ball game next month, when I will be full time. All the best, and good luck for ur endaveours.

    18. #18
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      Hey Laj, even though we may have crossed paths and stepped on each others feet. I sincerely hope and wish you the best in what Allah has decreed upon you and your endevours. You have a plan, follow it to the bone and insha'Allah you will be rewarded. Every organism has something to add to the pond and its a vital contribution however it maybe. Its a disease this loneliness, don't lose hope Make your niyah and all else will flow insha'Allah.

      p.s. Hope I see your ass around on the board in the future
      Rabul MashriqaiN wal MaghribaiN

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