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    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
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    1. #1
      Kher Andesh
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      Faisal's Avatar
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      While I was in Pakistan and elsewhere I never really wore the wedding ring with any regularity. Partly because of laziness, partly because I thought the ring is too darn expensive and hence should be kept safely in a locker and partly because I was never a big fan of wearing jewellery myself. So, although its a nice one, I only would wear it for family weddings and other "special" functions. I am sure there are lots of men in Pakistan who wear wedding rings very regularly, there are just as many, if not more, who'd wear it, only occassionally, if at all.

      When I moved to USA, I realized that folks here take their wedding rings very seriously. I have hardly seen a married guy without the ring on the left ring-finger. And no unmarried folks are seen wearing a ring in that finger. Its as if the ring is deemed the sole and the most reliable identifier to show who is actually legally married and who is not. Even those who have live-in girl-friends for several years and have kids together never wear the ring on the left ring-finger, unless they are legally married.

      Is the perception correct?

    2. #2
      Moderator Shor Sharaba, GS Book Club
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      ~MuNiYa~'s Avatar
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      Very Correct.. kinda like a He's mine Stamp

      I rather enjoy it..
      I have OCD: Obsessive Cullens Disorder
      Bite Me! -- Please
      I like running with scissors...makes me feel dangerous

    3. #3
      The Devil's Advocate
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      muft main time kharaab kya..

      mod say keh kay apna thread title saheeh karva lain.. it's not just for men but married men..(and MuNiya of course)

    4. #4
      Member
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      Faisal, I think the ring does'nt really mean much, IF I was married I would'nt mind if my "H"usband wore it or not, no big deal really, honestly I would not always wear it myself, only if I go out and remember to, other then that the "RING" itself has no meaning whatsoever.

    5. #5
      Kher Andesh
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      Thats fine Majestic. However, my perception is that folks wear it not only to please their wives, but because the society here genuinely frowns upon those married men who don't wear their wedding bands, as if saying "are you trying to hide that u r married?" kinda thing. Its as much a personal choice as well as norms of society here.

      Or maybe its not really that important.

    6. #6

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      CorruptAngel's Avatar
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      You're right! it's a cultural thing. It's a must for married men and women to wear special wedding rings(wedding bands) in USA. It symbolizes marriage. There are other types of rings too that symbolize a person is single and looking or taken(clatter rings). I found this out when I was working at a diamond jewelry store.

    7. #7

      Ditzy
       

      CorruptAngel's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Faisal:
      Thats fine Majestic. However, my perception is that folks wear it not only to please their wives, but because the society here genuinely frowns upon those married men who don't wear their wedding bands, as if saying "are you trying to hide that u r married?" kinda thing. Its as much a personal choice as well as norms of society here.
      I worked in an office in my university once and I had told my supervisor that I'm getting engaged. I met her after my engagement but I didn't have my engagment ring on so she was like "where is your ring??"...she almost didn't believe that I got engaged.....If they know you're married or engaged and if you don't have your ring on your finger they will think you're separated or something like that.

    8. #8
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      Originally posted by CurruptAngel:


      I worked in an office in my university once and I had told my supervisor that I'm getting engaged. I met her after my engagement but I didn't have my engagment ring on so she was like "where is your ring??"...she almost didn't believe that I got engaged.....If they know you're married or engaged and if you don't have your ring on your finger they will think you're separated or something like that.
      yeah I think thats the silly part of the US, I mean after all its only a ring, I don't need to wear my heart on my arm type of thing. I find it wierd. And CA I never knew that stuff about the rings for all types, wow only in American

    9. #9
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      Originally posted by Faisal:
      I thought the ring is too darn expensive and hence should be kept safely in a locker
      :biggrin: such a typical desi thing to think Faisal bhai :biggthumb hum sub pakistan mein aisa hi socha kerte thay init aur idhar aa ke kisi cheez kee ehmiyat hee naheen rahi...i also think sometimes how easily my gold earrings or something r lying on the study table in my dorm aur log aa ja rhay hotay hayn aur mujhay hosh hi nahen hota....aur pakistan mein kitna sambhaal k rakha kartay thay hum log apni gold jewelry in fact pehnte bhee dar dar k thay k chori na ho jayay.... :biggrin: ladies aksar shadi k hall tak bag mein le jaati hayn aur wahan pohonch k jewelry pehnti haen yaan agar pehle se pehni hoi ho toh gaari mein jatay huay achee terah dhaank leti hayn jewelry ko chaddar se kaheen koi gaari rok ke jewelry na utarwa le..aur heavy jewelry pehn ke sarak pe chalnay ka ya bus pe safar kerne ka toh socha bhee naheen ja sakta baray shehron mein back home...its amazing init how idhar amreeka mein sonay kee cheez bhee ordinary see lagti hay...too much excess wealth in this country

    10. #10
      Masti-o-tron
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      ^ It's that whole keep-your-remote-wrapped-up and original-car-seat-cover thang.

      Think it was Fraudia who brought up that dicsussion a while ago, brilliant thread that.

    11. #11
      Kher Andesh
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      What Irem is talking about is more like security issues, especially in Karachi. There have been many instances in big cities (Khi, Lhe etc) where muggings have taken place, by dacoits forcing the car to stop and then looting off the jewellary and stuff. Same as one would not advise anyone to go around showing off a lot of jewellary in neighborhoods known for violence and mugging in New York or Atlanta or anyother big city in US. Its just common sense.

      To Irem's point, it has also to do with how much security we "feel" here. In Pakistan, there are all kinds of servants coming and going and petty theft is rampant. Here, by and large, in good neighborhoods and hostels and what not, people tend to feel relaxed that the others won't run off with their stuff.

      However, that is just a tangent. The topic at hand is the importance, or otherwise, which this culture places on wedding rings/bands for married men (thanks PA)

    12. #12
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      I think the focus on wearing your wedding ring if you are married is really cultural. I believe that in the west married people wear their rings to show their unavailability, considering the odds of someone approaching you directly are much higher here. When the other person see's the ring he/she knows what she is heading for; a taken person. If it was out of fear of you spouse or just to please them, it doesn't take very long to slip the ring off the finger once you are out of your spouse's sight

    13. #13
      Matsui

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      ^ I only wear the ring when I go to any formal function. I never wore jewelery before and I never will. Although, dahej mein joh milla tha

    14. #14
      Senior Member
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      Well dahling, no matter how much time you spend here, you are a desi afterall

    15. #15
      ~Nia sey panga ...
      hai nahee changa~

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      I love that stamp thing

      "He's mine"

      or

      "taken"

      I am gona get both rings [thinking about that ] well my parents.... wedding band carved with our names and one ring which is a must in our culture.

    16. #16
      Masti-o-tron
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      agree with ya there Faisal, think I trekked into unrelated territory back there.

      Now that I actually read the whole thread, Femme Fatale's pretty much nailed it wrt the significance of the ring (among other things), as being more of a vacant/available indication (in the "back off" sense) in the west.

    17. #17
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      Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~:
      Very Correct.. kinda like a He's mine Stamp

      I rather enjoy it..
      I agree with ~MuNiYa~ it also tell people "I'm not free"

    18. #18
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      ^tells

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