Niksik

So a friend of mine recently had a baby and is having terrible baby blues. I'm of no help to her as I didn't go through those with either of my babies.

Any suggestions on how to deal with it will be very helpful.

sadzzz

How bad is it? If it's really bad, she should go see a doc..

Is she home alone with the baby or are there other people around?

hsap

she should see a doctor or join a support group ,
also shouldn't be left alone with baby for longer period

sadzzz

if its just minor.. get her to go out more. Maybe like joining a mothers group or something. Thats usually good. I have a friend here who says she went through it too,... actually most females who have had children tell me they had the baby blues, but i think its also quite hormonal.. and ur body is changing, the new bubz in ur life... prioritise change.. all that just messes you up a lil bit.

I'd prob suggest her going out more with her hubby.. or talking to him about her feelings and u know just trying to do fun stuff...

but, yeah, if its serious stuff.. she should see a doc or even her baby's nurse. My nurse was just wonderful. Everytime i saw her I felt like a great mother and that just gave me a boost eevrytime..

Your President

Postpartum depression is rather common but dealing with it really depends on the individual and their level of tolerance. She should see a doctor right away - only a doctor can judge her level of depression that others around might miss. In some cases, it is unsafe for the baby to be left alone with the mother. Immediate, professional help should be seeked.

Niksik

She does have her MIL around who is semi-tolerant and a hubby who is super nice. She also has an older toddler. She has been busy with guests coming to see the newborn and she does go out, like for hospital visits, but she had a c-section so she is still recovering.

I guess I'll ask her to see her doc.

mall

hey nik... i have no experience of babies but i m freakin out since 1 yr thinkin abt it.... i mean i am a v carefree, irresponsible girl... so far my life is cool with my hubby also carefree and we lead a life where we do whatever we like but I dun think i m maternal... i mean i dun think i will b the best mom.. alot of women of today would know how i feel cus they r independent, working and their priorities have changed... not that i dun want kid, i do but i think i wudnt do justice... i dunno why i m ranting here... but i wanted to share this.. imagine my blues when i m preg and when i HAVE a baby! SOB SOB .....
btw the pic in ur avatar... is it u???

Niksik

Mall, we all have mixed emotions of joy and fear when having kids because it is a great responsibility. But it is also a very natural part of life and we all adjust eventually. If one can have children then by all means one should. Don't worry, everything works out in the end.

Mamaof3

I was one of those, like Mall...I never thought I'd have or WANT babies. But when I met my prince that is all I wanted. It took me longer than most people to get to that point and maybe I'm an "older" mom than the majority but I wouldnt have it any other way. I had some carefree time where I was earning a good salary, lived in NYC on my own and enjoying my work....but once I met my prince and had my babies, THIS is when I felt that my life had real and true meaning.

As far as baby blues, your friend should really see her doc although that isnt something that I'd personally do unless I thought the health of myself or my baby were at stake. But when you think about it, hormone levels increase THOUSANDS of times during pregnancy and once the baby is delivered, hormone levels decrease THOUSANDS of times...surely, this can lead to difficulty and may (or may NOT) require medication to smooth things over till levels adjust. A trusted doc would be the one to determine whether this would be the best course of action or not.

Best thing to do for your friend....purchase something pretty and frilly for her, show up at her house and tell her to go away for a few hours while you care for her baby. Tell her - take a looong nap. Or get a pedicure. Or go to BK and have yourself a whopper with cheese and read the latest issue of People. Go AWAY, I will take good care of baby and I dont want to see you for 3 or 4 hours. WHAT I'd have given for a gift such as this!!!!

Niksik

Oh thanks MO3 for such lovely advice. I wish I could do all of that for her but she is in another state. But I will tell her to get herself pampered! Maybe I'll send her a gift certificate from here so she'll have no choice!

Mamaof3

Beautiful!! You are a good friend to have

mall

hey u didnt tell me if this is u in the pic ?

mall

seriously i m worried sick... ive been tryin since 2 months and m really lookin fwd to being preg but i m v anxious cus i know my nature and my hubby keeps tellin me too that i wudnt b a gud mother... yar u dunno how lazy and laidback i m... in cleaning, in cookin, in general stuff... i have to literally drag myself... so for a baby i m thinkin how will i do it? Allah help me!

Niksik

No no that's a pic from google. That's not me.

Aliyish

If one had a baby gal .. could she have baby Pinks ? blue goes better for lads

Niksik

You will do it when you hold that baby in your arms. It's a natural transition.

My sister was a carefree person all her life. Always been the pampered little one, successful in her endeavours but not responsible for anyone else.

Had a baby and her she is one of the best moms I know. Totally committed and selfless.

None of us can be prepared or ready. When it happens, it's a blessing and along with it comes the natural mommyhood!

Niksik

Awwwwwwwww that sounds so cute Aliyish! Maybe the dads have baby pinks.

Mamaof3

awww!! I wouldnt know....ALL 3 of mine are boyz...wouldnt change them for the earth moon and stars but....a baby girl would be SO fun!!

mall

oh welll.... thaz too bad... was abt to say u have pretty eyes... LOL

Ansoon

hmm i wonder about that.. i guess i will tell you once i become a dad.. i doubt i will have blues/pinks but it certainly would be an exciting time..