Lajawab

My days of rebelliousness were not appreciated by everyone...

When you think of someone as a 'rebel', immediately your mind conjures up images of unwashed, brutish people, probably a turbaned guy or a Hispanic...

My rebelliousness consisted of an earing, and my motto, much to the disdain of my parents and siblings was, that people should accept me as I am, with my earing... And yet, acceptance evaded me except for some other appreciative circles, whom I now don't appreciate...

Many times I have sat in the corner of many gatherings, alone yet proud...People did make an effort to be courteous, yet I was aloof from the people...

The reason no one wants a child of theirs to go into Goth or Biker or 'fast' friends circles is that everyone expects malice from them...Rude behavior, unexpected incidents or just simply disturbing the harmony of a house are always causes of concern to the hosts...

As a result of which I will present to you a few points on proper guesthood, i.e. visiting someone's house...

The importance not only in Muslim traditions, but Japanese, Greek and Roman traditions as well...Their devotion and importance to their guests was also great...

(Remember the ignorance of the 'guests' in Odysseus' house, and for how many months the hosts took care of their needs, until the last oxen remained...)

These tips will enable you to maintain the peace and tranquility of the hosts' house for a short as well as an extended period of time...

So here they are:

Never ask for anything until absolutely necessary...

If you are thirsty, go to the kitchen, find a glass yourself and fill it with tap water...If no clean glass is available, clean a used one...If no glass is available, do not start opening up closets and cabinets in looking for one, ask any member of the host family politely...When he/she tells you, remember that spot...

If no tap is avalable, ask where and how to get drinking water...

Do not make demands...

Do not dig too deep and avoid too many questions unless the topic concerns the questioned directly...

Listen much...Find out the interests of the host or his knowledge regarding something...Everyone has something good to offer, even the worst amongst men...

Talk little but be honest...Keep your private life to yourself and avoid the hosts'...If the person happens to be a Muslim, ask his views about something that happened in the news...Share your opinions, do not enforce them, but present them in a happy way...If the tone of the host gets a little emotional, try to slowly divert from the issue...The host gave his opinion, you gave yours, no need to make it sound like an argument...

If the host happens to be non-Muslim, avoid religion at all costs...If the host wishes to enquire about Islam, give him or her the best information you can which you have gathered over the years...If you don't know anything about a certain issue, say you don't know...Don't start a false advertising campaign on behalf of Islam...

Do not let your habits hinder the lives of the host family...If you smoke inside your house, smoke outside theirs...Clean everything well after leaving a toilet...Do not walk heavily nor slam doors...Be careful to ease in the hydraulics ones, they often slam in the end...

Make sure you eat well when offered food, but not to the extent of overeating or gluttony (That is allowed only when eating Haleem)...This guarantees two things...First, that you really liked the food, second, in case you wake up in the middle of the night...If your sense of shyness will prevent you from using your hosts' refrigerator, the extra food will keep your stomach from rumbling...

Make sure you seem relaxed...An uptight guest gives the wrong signals...

Do not flip the channels too much if you should have control of the remote and don't offer your host the remote either...The host will want you to have it so you can choose your own channel...Switch to something informative like Discovery, National Geographic...

Avoid E!, Soap operas, and sometimes Comedy Central...

Anyways, enough points for today...Practice makes perfect...

TheNewWannaBe

Lajawab, what you doin' in Home Economics? Either you're going through a personality change or I really need to remove my leses and get some sleep. Swear last three days were not very comforting. Ah.. early morning duty tomorrow. Oopz! sorry to spoil your thread whatever that was that it is about. Oh Im so tired & sleepy

Qrius

i am not sure about going to the kitchen part and getting your own water... sometimes, i have noticed that you can't really do it if your meeting with the host is at an introductory level. Sometimes, the hosts don't appreciate people walking into their kitchen..so, the best thing to do,in my opinion, is to ask them.

Lajawab

That is when you are visiting alone...

The scenario I meant was like at a gathering or someplace...

I totally agree, when visiting alone, the matter is very formal...

99% of the times you'll be given or offered refreshments, if offered, just ask for a glass of water...

But, what about when alone visiting a friend? Do you still ask him for water?

Many, many minute details go into being a good guest...There are some rules in Islam regarding how to be a good guest...

Then there is a way to be a good host, but that is another book...

Qrius, how about opening a thread on good hosting?

TNW: Try this tongue twister:

Bibbiddelli-odendoden-bobo-bedeeddindadden...

TheNewWannaBe

Lajawab, what do you want my nanni munni masoom toungue to turn into?

Sara516

Hmm interesting!

Femme Fatale

Looks like LJ went to spend some time with his future in-laws