some cricket jokes

garma_garam_gup · Aug 18th, 2004, 10:11 AM

1} the standard of batting in the local side was very low. Even at the net practice, they couldn't hit a thing. Finally, the captain rushed forward and grabbed the bat.

'Now bowl me some fast ones!' he yelled.

Six fast balls came down in quick succession and the captain missed them all. Not to be put off he glared at the team and shouted,

'Now that's what you're all doing. Get in there and hit them!'

2} In a tense game, a batsman was given run out , a decision with which he obviously disagreed.

He paced up and down outside the pavilion until the umpires came in.
'I wasn't out, you know,' he said to the umpire.

'Oh no? Look in the paper tomorrow!' said the umpire .

3} An American who knew nothing of the game had been taken to a few cricket matches by a friend and was now studying the end-of-season averages.

Every now and then he came across an asterisk and the
words: 'Signifies not out.'

Finally, he turned to his friend and said: 'Why don't you get this guy Signifies to play for your side? He's never out !

4} 'I'm proud to say that in thirty years of playing cricket, I've never scored less than twenty five runs and never taken less than three wickets,' said George.

'I wish I could say that,' said Ted.
Harry spoke up. 'Well, why don't you? George just did!'

5} The secretary was frantically phoning the doctor. 'Can you come quickly; doctor? the scorer has just swallowed his pen.'
'I'll be right over. What are you doing in the mean time? '
'Using a pencil.'

i'll try to post more every week or so.

Sparkly Eyes · Aug 18th, 2004, 07:12 PM