Amrikan lawyers

mYsTeRiOuS_gUy · Jul 14th, 2006, 08:31 AM

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are
things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters ,who had to suffer from the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had
a beard.
ATTORNEY: &! nbsp; Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practising law

dhobi_bhai · Jul 14th, 2006, 08:41 AM

Sara516 · Jul 14th, 2006, 10:56 AM

lifeless · Jul 14th, 2006, 11:04 AM

yusufzai · Jul 14th, 2006, 11:12 AM

:biggthumb

superstar · Jul 14th, 2006, 02:08 PM

legbreakgoogly · Jul 14th, 2006, 02:11 PM

parissenoor · Jul 14th, 2006, 02:48 PM

............

globe · Jul 14th, 2006, 10:32 PM

heheh,cudn't stop laughing --------->>>-----

Cool Breeze · Jul 15th, 2006, 01:13 AM

the last one is so funny

Muslim girl · Jul 18th, 2006, 01:04 PM

nice onez!!

Afridi786 · Jul 18th, 2006, 03:48 PM

heard b4, funny nonetheless.