All Rounder

There stood two blondes, one on each side of a river.

The blonde on the East bank yelled across "Hey, How do you get to the other side of the river?"

The blonde on the West bank looked up river, then down river then yelled back her reply "You are on the other side of the river!"



As the blonde was driving home, she was swerving left, the right, then left then right.

A cop sees her, pulls her over, and asks "What's the problem?"

The blonde answers "There was this tree, then another one, then another one, they just wouldn't stop coming!"

The cop says "Lady, that's your air freshener


There was a blonde who wanted to learn how to fly an airplane, so she goes to the airport and asks the man behind the desk, "Hi, I'd like to learn how to fly an airplane."

The man looked at a clipboard, then replied, "I'm sorry, miss, but there aren't any airplanes available. Would a helicopter be alright?"

"Oh, yes! I'd LOVE to fly a helicopter!"

So the blonde learns how to fly it and she's ready to go on her first drive. The man goes to the control tower and sits at the radio.

"Alright," he says to her, "turn the engine on." She does and responds, "Okay, it's on!"

"Now, take her up to 10,000 feet."

This blonde does and then radios in, "Oh, it's lovely up here! It's so beautiful!"

"Okay, now take her up to 20,000 feet."

The blonde does this and contacts him, "Oh, this is so wonderful! I absolutely LOVE this view! It's so pretty!"

"Okay, let's go up another 10,000 feet before we bring you back down."

"Alright!" the blonde says and takes the helicopter up even higher. There's silence for a little while, then the helicopter comes hurling down from the heavens and it explodes into a pilliar of fire upon contact with the ground.

The man races out to the helicopter and pulls the woman out. She is unharmed. The man pants and asks, "what in the world happened?"

"Well, when you told me to turn on the engine, I was fine. You told me to go up to 10,000 and I was fine. So you tell me to go up to 20,000 feet. I was fine. You tell me to go up to 30,000 feet, but then I got cold, so I turned off that big fan up there."
How do you change a blonde's mind?


Blow in her ear.


How does a blonde kill a fish?


She drowns it.


How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?


Tell her a joke on Wednesday

What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?


Trying to hold on to a thought How does a blonde commit suicide?


She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off

Three pregnant women, blonde, brunette, and redhead, were sitting together and knitting for their babies.

The redhead said "I hope I have a girl because I've knitted a pink sweater."

The brunette said "I hope I have a boy because I've knitted a blue sweater."

And the blonde said "I hope I have a spastic because I've screwed these arms up"

A blonde is in a bar and her cellular phone rings, so she picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"
What was the tradgedy when four blondes died in a car accident?

The car could have held six


How many blonde jokes are there?

Only two or three, the others are real stories