Wife making breakfast

Light Bearer · Jun 3rd, 2007, 03:18 AM

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL!
Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY!
Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter.
Oh my GOD!
WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful. CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never!
Turn them!
Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.
USE THE SALT!
THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied with a grin, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Light Bearer · Jun 3rd, 2007, 03:33 AM

I had to take a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her" And where do you think you're going?"

( You're gonna love this..... )

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

Light Bearer · Jun 3rd, 2007, 03:37 AM

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claim an
unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.

However, you may well NOT know that in the month of March 1948,
exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.;
Hillary Rodham; John F. Kerry; William Jefferson Clinton; Howard Dean; Nancy Pelosi; Dianne Feinstein; Charles E. Schumer; and Barbara Boxer were born.

That piece of information has now cleared up a lot of things.