This forum has been reserved for good jokes, but now I gues it is time for bad ones ... so here I go:
Why is banana skin on the floor like music?
Because if you don't C sharp then you might B flat .... hehehehe
What did the police man say to the robber who was caught with only his underwear on?
You're under a vest ... hah haha hahaha
Now you turn for bad jokes
Peace
The Prophet(SAW) said:
"I am leaving you two things and you will never go astray as long as you cling to them -- they are the Book of Allah and my Sunnah." [Reported by Al- Haakim - Sahih].
"A State divided into a small number of rich and a large number of poor will always develop a government manipulated by the rich to protect the amenities represented by their property."
A guy walks into an empty bar and says, "Hey, Bartender, give me a drink." So the guy sits down, sipping his drink, when he hears a small voice, "I like your tie."
The man turns to the bartender and says, "Did you say something?"
"No, I didn't say anything," says the bartender.
The man shrugs it off. And again he hears the small voice call out,
"Your hair looks really nice."
The man turns to the bartender and asks.
"There it goes again, didn't you hear that?"
"No, replied the bartender, "I didn't hear anything."
Once again, the man returns to his drink when he hears,
"Gee, that suit looks great on you."
"Bartender!" exclaimed the man, "I am absolutely sure I heard something.
What's going on here?"
"Oh", said the bartender. "That must be our peanuts.
They're complimentary."
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Two friends were hunting in the woods when they lost their way. Elliot had read that when lost, you fire three times in the air and help will come. So he did. Nothing happened. An hour later he fired three more times. After another hour his friend told him to try a third time.
.. "Okay," said Elliot, "but we're almost out of arrows."
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what do you call a cow without legs?
ground beef.
where do you find a cow without legs?
exactly where you left it.
what do you call a cow with three legs?
lean beef.
what do you call a blind reindeer?
no i dear
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Two blondes go for a walk in the forest. Now we wouldnt think of perpetuating the stereotype, and we resent the fact that blonde women are thought less intelligent than anyone else. And so did these two. So they're walking, discussing life, nature, both being amatuer wildlife enthusiasts. They come across some tracks.
One says "I know these tracks. They're moose tracks"
The other says "You're close, but they're actually elk tracks"
The first says "I lived in the forest with my grandfather. He taught me a lot about wildlife. They're moose tracks"
And so they argue back and forth for quite a bit. And then a train runs over them.
O Englightened dog, come and stay with me for a while.
- Hazrat Bayazid Bistani (The way of the Sufi)
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate.
She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Ginger!" Once again the woman smiled and thought, "yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "dammit Ginger, get away from her before she ****s on you!"
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
The best part of the best drug in the world isn't the high. It's the moment just before you take it. The dice are dancing on the table. Between now and the time they stop, that's the greatest high in the world
Two blondes go for a walk in the forest. Now we wouldnt think of perpetuating the stereotype, and we resent the fact that blonde women are thought less intelligent than anyone else. And so did these two. So they're walking, discussing life, nature, both being amatuer wildlife enthusiasts. They come across some tracks.
One says "I know these tracks. They're moose tracks"
The other says "You're close, but they're actually elk tracks"
The first says "I lived in the forest with my grandfather. He taught me a lot about wildlife. They're moose tracks"
And so they argue back and forth for quite a bit. And then a train runs over them.
oh god our family does these types of corny jokes all the time LOL
like when I told my chacha we were staying at the Hyatt, he jumped and said itna ghussa na karo.