"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' "
Everyone but Little Johnny, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied. ...
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After church on Sunday morning, Little Johnny suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us," his mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"
"Well," Little Johnny replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen."
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Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:
"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"
After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer.
With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!"
.................................................. .................................................. .........................
Little Johnny rushes home from school.
He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.
She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now.
It’s too close to supper time.
Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”
Trying to placate him, she says, “OK, I’ll play with you.
What do you want to play?” He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.”
Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, “Fine, I’ll play.
What do I do?” Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.”
Figuring that she can easily control the situation, she goes upstairs.
Johnny, goes down the hall and opens the utility closet.
He dons his father’s old fishing hat.
As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table.
He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth.
At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
His mother raises up and says, “What do I do now?”
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, “Get downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”...
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