K Khan

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.

Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.

They all said, “This tastes like POOP!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

*Masoom Muskaan*

Mirch

I love this little Johny, such a smart cookie .
This is what he did in class yesterday.


The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out aboutsomething exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When thetime came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call on little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But, eventually, his turn came...
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well, the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period," reported Johnnie.
"Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a
period?" "Damned if I know", said Johnnie, "but, this morning, my sister said she missed one. Then Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

K Khan

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," she replied as she began to remove the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter," asked little Johnny. "Giving up?"

ghazal kisi ke

LOL.

K Khan

Little Johnny's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad mentioned that if he so much as hinted anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The new mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes." "Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be in trouble if he needed glasses!"

Princess Fiona

I have the R rated jokes of lil johny.. Post karon?

K Khan

oi Attia ki bachi, khudh tu ban hu ge he mujhai bhi karwai ge.

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Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Johnny wait until we say our prayer." "I don't have to," The boy replied.

"Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."

"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"

K Khan

Little Johnny's mother took him with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Little Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's REALLY FAT."

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Little Johnny received a quiet reprimand.

After a minute or two, Little Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, "I bet her butt is *that* wide."

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.

Again after a couple of minutes Little Johnny stated loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt." The lady turned and told Johnny's mother to control her rude child and his mother threatened him with his very life and existence.

Things in the bank are quiet. The lady moved to the front of the line when her pager begins to emit its distinctive tone.

Little Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MOM, SHE'S BACKING UP!!!!"

Princess Fiona

Nahi i will say "Attention everyone it is 21+ joke*

Shikra

LOL...........good one guys........keep them coming

K Khan

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take all his money, what would I be?"

Little Johnny raised his hand and blurted out, "You'd be his wife!"



.................................................. .................................................. ................................

Little Johnny asked his Sunday school teacher, "Do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

The teacher said, "I imagine he did."

Little Johnny asked, "Well, he couldn't have caught many, with only two worms."



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The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for 'Show & Tell' and the next day every kid had something.

The teacher asks Wendy, "What did you bring?"

"I brought a Walkman," answers Wendy.

"And what is it for?" the teacher asks.

"You can listen to music with it!" replies Wendy.

"That's nice Wendy, and what did you bring Kenny?" asks the teacher.

"I brought a electrical can opener, it opens cans!" says Kenny.

"Well done, Kenny. I see little Johnny didn't bring anything!" the teacher notices.

Little Johnny says, "Yes, I did. It's in the hall." The whole class looks out into the hall.

"What is that," the teacher asks.

Little Johnny replies, "It's a heart and lung device they use in hospitals to keep your heart going!"

The teacher asks, "And what did your father say when you took it?"

Little Johnny replies, "Aaaaahhhhh!"

midnighteyes

LOL

James_Bhaand

P.S.
ooomeegoooshhhh
i know sooooo many really really GOOD LJ jokes

kali billi

from one of the g-rated jokes i came to know little jhonny was 18 when he was in 3rd grade

K Khan

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.

The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Johnny, do you wanna play house?"

Little Johnny replies, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl says, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

"Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Little Johnny. "I have no idea what that means."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."



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"Mommy, my turtle is dead," Little Johnny sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

The mother kissed him on the head, then said," That's all right, dear. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, and have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Little Johnny, you're turtle is not dead after all."

"Oh," the disappointed Little Johnny said, "can I kill it?"

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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered Little Johnny.

May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, Little Johnny whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?" Again Little Johnny whispered, "No."

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.

"Yes", whispered Little Johnny, "A policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered Little Johnny.

"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper", answered the whispering Little Johnny.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice Little Johnny answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper!"

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?"

Still whispering, Little Johnny replied along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me!"
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Little Johnny's parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their son's behavior. His mother had heard that a priest in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if they should send Little Johnny to speak with the priest.

The husband said, "We might as well... we need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The priest agreed to speak with Little Johnny. The priest sat him down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

Little Johnny made no response, so the priest repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again, Little Johnny made no attempt to answer, so the priest raised his voice again and shook his finger in the boy's face, "Where is God?"

A frightened Little Johnny ran out of the room and directly home to his bedroom, where he slammed himself in the closet.

Little Johnny's mother followed him into the closet and asked, "What happened?"

Little Johnny replied, "I'm in BIG trouble this time... God is missing and they think I did it!"

Khumar

-=Janu Jia=-

princes u can pm me those 21+ n r rated jks lolz.....

K Khan

...
tum dunu shaid (rated G) ka ghallat matlab samjhein.. "Rated G" means "General Audiences", its not "RATED GANDAY".

-=Janu Jia=-

R rated n rated G is diff ... i fink :sir khujaying;

newho u know wht i mean if u do pm me

K Khan

Little Johnny's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"


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The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students. When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, "And what does your father do?"

"Oh, he's a magician," replied Johnny.

"Really? And what's his best trick?"

"His best trick is sawing people in half."

"Wonderful!" exclaimed the teacher. "Tell me, are there any more children in your family?"

"Yes ma'am, I have a half brother and two half sisters."


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Little Johnny's house is packed with relatives for Christmas dinner.
Grandpa calls over 6 year old Little Johnny and starts asking about school, girlfriends and other stuff he can think of.

After a while, grandpa notices that Little Johnny is losing interest in the conversation, so he pulls out two bills from his wallet to see if he can keep him interested. A ten and a twenty dollar bill. He shows both bills to Little Johnny and tells him that he can keep any one he chooses.

Little Johnny reaches over and grabs the ten dollar bill.

Grandpa, pretty surprised and upset about the unwise decision his grandchild made, pulls out another ten dollar bill to see if it was a mistake. Again he tells Little Johnny to take one of the bills and keep it.

Little Johnny grabs the other ten.

Grandpa again is surprised and upset. He takes Little Johnny over to one of the uncles and shows him how dumb Little Johnny is in choosing the ten over the twenty. Grandpa goes on and on showing every uncle and cousin and each time Little Johnny chooses the ten over the twenty.

Grandpa finally shows the stunt to his Daddy. Little Johnny's Daddy is quite surprised, but doesn't pay too much attention at the moment.

A few hours later, Daddy who is very concerned about Little Johnny's poor decision, walks up to him and asks him if he knows the difference between a ten dollar bill and a twenty.

"Of course," answers Little Johnny.

"So why did you always choose the ten over the twenty," asks Dad.

Little Johnny, with a wide smile answers, "Well Dad, if I would have chosen the first twenty dollar bill, do you think grandpa would have played the game fifteen more times?"

K337

kool

yaser123

LOL

yaser123

Kool

K Khan

A police officer had a perfect hiding place for catching speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit. The officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand-painted sign which said:

“RADAR TRAP AHEAD”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice,… Little Johnny, about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading:

“TIPS” and a bucket at his feet……….. full of change.



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Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie’s father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it