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Apr 25th, 2009, 12:50 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Channel Manager UnPlugged
Join Date: Feb 10, 2007 - 8:05 pm
Location: GS dungeons.. :(
Posts: 6,636
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This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
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Apr 25th, 2009, 03:53 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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"Quack Quack!"
Join Date: May 19, 2007 - 12:56 am
Location: psycho ward
Posts: 2,783
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Embrace your inner-Luna!!!! (HP5)
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Apr 29th, 2009, 07:32 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 6, 2001 - 1:00 am
Location: United Arab Emirates
Posts: 1,101
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Apr 29th, 2009, 01:42 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 28, 2009 - 6:07 pm
Location: UK
Posts: 521
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not bad..
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Apr 30th, 2009, 12:17 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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..:: Im Not Short.. Im FUNsized ::..
Join Date: Sep 29, 2004 - 5:00 am
Location: ..The Netherlands..
Posts: 18,860
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WS: ..If you learn to translate every event of ur life into positive meaning.. You will stop being prisoner of your past and become the designer of your future... ~**~
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May 1st, 2009, 02:19 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 1, 2008 - 12:45 am
Posts: 2,569
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lol!
Impress me..with your intelligence and wit. :-)
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May 1st, 2009, 07:51 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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Moderator Cafe', Image Forum
Join Date: Mar 8, 2007 - 8:51 am
Location: cafe' main hi
Posts: 43,642
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jo mere baad post kare ga wo mota..
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May 1st, 2009, 10:18 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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igglepiggle!
Join Date: Dec 29, 2008 - 12:47 pm
Location: In the Night Garden
Posts: 5,394
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Huggle snuggle iggle piggle!
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May 17th, 2009, 01:49 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 23, 2003 - 7:08 pm
Posts: 11,826
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LOL
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May 24th, 2009, 02:22 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 29, 2009 - 3:07 am
Posts: 33
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lol
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May 26th, 2009, 06:29 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2, 2001 - 1:00 am
Posts: 662
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hehehehe
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May 26th, 2009, 07:13 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 28, 2007 - 6:06 pm
Location: Krypton
Posts: 8,320
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May 29th, 2009, 05:38 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 4, 2009 - 9:35 pm
Location: Beneath a lambent moon...
Posts: 533
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Hhehehehe.
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