Indian Cricket Team Jokes

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:04 AM

The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live
with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:07 AM

Ishant Sharma was struggling with his bowling vs West Indies in this T20 cup, so Dhnoi walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told Ishant. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:08 AM

Q: Why did the Gary Kirsten give Indian team team lighters?

A: They kept losing their matches.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:09 AM

After the shameful exit of Indian cricket team in the T20 WC Super 8 stage, the Indian team members were not able to show their faces to people openly and they chose rather just to pack up in hotel rooms in Mumbai.

Dhoni could not resist for too long to be in Mumbai and still not be
able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a
Sardar and goes out. he meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi Dhoni!"

Surprised for having been caught he comes back and
makes himself up as a muslim woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet same again - the same woman greets him "Hi Dhoni!".

Dhoni comes back determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain
- the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Dhoni!".
Bewildered by now, he could not help asking,

"How did you recognize me?"

The lady replied - "I am Yuvraj the Bhangra Machine!"

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:09 AM

Q : How is the Indian cricket team like a possum?
A : They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:10 AM

Q: Why is BCCI is replacing the cricket pitches in their stadiums with cardboard?
A: The team looks better on paper.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:10 AM

Q: what is the difference between an indian fielder and a condom?
A: one drops a catch and other catches a drop

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:11 AM

Q: Where do Indian Batsman perform their best?
A: In Advertisments.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:11 AM

Q: What is the difference between Indian Cricket Team and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:12 AM

Q: Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time?
A: They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:12 AM

Q: What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers?
A: Batteries have a positive side.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:13 AM

Q: How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets?
A: You place food on either end or tell them to do Bhangra...

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:13 AM

Q: What do Dhoni and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:14 AM

Pretti Zinta: Yuvraj cost me one million $. I call him our wonder player.
Shahrukh Khan: Why's that?
Pretti Zinta: Every time he plays for Kings XI, I wonder why I bothered to buy him!

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:14 AM

Sharad Pawar: 12 teams in the T20 WC and you lot finish bottom?

Dhoni: Well, it could have been worse.

Sharad Pawar: How?

Dhoni: There could have been more teams in the WC!

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:15 AM

Today, team India arrives at Mumbai airport fresh from their performance in T20. At the airport, a journalist stops Dhoni;

Reporter: Is your bad performance due to ignorance or apathy?
Dhoni: I don't know and I don't care!

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:16 AM

Q: How Indian players are spending their time after getting knocked out..

A:
1 - Singing “It’s never a right time to say goodbye..” on the streets of London.
2 - Get convicted for noise pollution and deported to...Sudan, where they spend one month before sneaking back to India in fruit containers.
3 - Reading “T20 for Dummies” when they are not busy taking lessons in T20 from the English. No kidding.

4 - Pressuring Ambani to terminate Bravo’s IPL contract.

5 - Thinking about firing the coach and the captain. It’s a cricketing tradition after all.

6 - Arranging a charity match with Bangladesh, fighting for the 8th place in the tournament. All the proceedings go towards getting the Indian players back home. Safely.

7 - Support any team vs Pakistan. At least India’s WC record vs Pakistan is still intact!!

8 - Reminiscing days when everything was good and rocks were not being pelted on their houses.

9 - Singing Queen’s “We Are The Champions” but in the past tense: “We Were the Champions”

And finally...

Group Shower as an ‘act of unity’

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:17 AM

Ravi had bought tickets to all three T20 games India played in Super-8 stage for him and his wife. After Indian losses to Eng and WI, Ravi was so p1$$ed, that he tried to sell their tickets for Ind vs South Africa match but nobody would buy them.

He tried to give those tickets away free to his friends and relatives but nobody was interested. While parking at a mall in Southall, he decided to leave the tickets under his windshield wiper. Hoping somebody would take free tickets.

"And that worked?" His wife asked.

"Not exactly," said Ravi. "I returned to find six more tickets to the same match."

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:17 AM

Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A: The entire Indian Innings.

mercenary2k · Jun 26th, 2009, 02:18 AM

Q: When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?
A: When he is bowling.