Sardaji Special
SURD #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
SURD #2: "No, who wrote it?"
What about the surd's wife who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.
SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?" MAN: "It's 3:15."
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest
thing, I have been asking that question all day,
and each time I get a different answer."
Q: What do you call a surd in an institution of higher
learning? A: A visitor.
Q: A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut
it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? -
A: Because below 18 was not allowed
Q: How do you keep a surd busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of the piece of
paper.
Q: How do you measure a surd's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear]
Q: Why do surds wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A SURD BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his
window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the
middle row.
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SURD THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightly over
his ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the surd stare at a frozen orange juice can
for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do surds work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had
already written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
Q: Why did God give surds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them ****ting in the streets during
parades. Q: How do you confuse a surd?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you keep a surd in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) Q: Why can't surds make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the surd try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: What's the difference between a surd and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why do men like surd jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: How many surds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around hin.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call,
"Daaady"
Q: What does a surd say when you ask him if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a surd a penny for his
thoughts? A: Change.
Q: What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel. Q: What do you call a surd with half a brain?
A: Gifted
Q: What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: What do a surd and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until
they go down on you.
Q: What do you do when a surd throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why are surds hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can't surds put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a surd in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it]
Q: Whats the difference between a Surd and a Supermarket
Trolley? A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A surd parade.
Q: Guy asked his surd wife "how did you get the car in the
living room"?
A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."
Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A SURD BELEIVED IN SMOKING.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
A surd's response to the comment, "THINK about it": "I don't
have to think -- I'm surd]"
Did you hear about the surd that stayed up all night to see
where the sun went ?
It finally dawned on him.
A surd was driving down the highway to Disneyland when
he saw a sign that
said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to
himself "oh well " and turned around an drove home.
On his way home the same surd drove past another sign that said
"Clean Restrooms 8 MILES".
By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
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