dhir

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the
local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets
were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any
exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted
and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, a student came
rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated
sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students
filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued
writing. A half hour later, the last student came up to the professor who
was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put
his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student
looked incredulous and angry.
"Do you know WHO I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" The student asked again.
"No, and I don't care." Replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed
exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

AND ANOTHER ONE

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice
demanded to know how many vehicles were operational. Paddy
answered, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff
cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in."
There was a stoney silence for a second or two.
"Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No," said Paddy.
"It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately
referred to."
"Well, do you know who you are talking to?"
"No," roared the colonel.
"Well thank Christ for that," said Paddy slamming the phone down.