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A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and
he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three
weeks since he's eaten anything besides what
he could forage and he's been reduced to
sleeping in caves and under trees. One
afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most
of it
and the man can't see any other buildings in
the area. However, he sees smoke coming out
of the chimney implying someone is home.
He knocks on the door and an old man
answers, with a beard almost down to the
ground. The old man squints his eyes and
says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past
three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or
sleep since that time. I would be most
gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in
your house for tonight."
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come
in on one condition: You cannot mess around
with my grandaughter."
The man, exhausted and hungry readily
agrees, saying "I promise I won't cause you
any trouble.I'll be on my way tommorrow
morning."
The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I
do catch you then I'll give you the three
worst chinese torture tests ever known to
man."
"Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old
house. Besides, he thought to himself, what
kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all her life?
Well, that night, when the man came down to
eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful
the grandaughter was. She was an absolute
pearl, and while he had only been lost three
weeks,it had been many, many months without
companionship. And the girl had only seen
the occasional monk besides her grandfather
and well, they both couldn't keep their eyes
off each other throughout the meal.
That night, the man snuck into the girls'
bedroom and they had quite a time, but had
kept the noise down to a minimum. The man
crept back to his room later that night
thinking to himself, "Any three torture
tests would be worth it after that
experience."
Well, the next morning the man awoke to find
a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his
eyes and there was this huge rock on his
chest. On the rock was a sign saying "First
Chinese torture test: 50 kg rock on your
chest".
"What a lame torture test" the man thought
to himself as he got up and walked over to
the window. He opened the shutter and threw
the rock out. On the backside of the rock is
another sign saying "Second worst Chinese
torture test: Rock tied to RIGHT testicle".
The man, seeing the rock was too far out the
window to be grabbed, jumps out the window
after the rock. Outside the window is a
third sign saying "Third worst Chinese
torture test: LEFT testicle tied to
bedpost".
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