jeenius

16. Every couple of minutes, he yells "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
15. Calls recess and asks "Got any ideas, genius?"

14. Answers all objections with "whatever"

13. Frequently gives juror number 4 the finger

12. Places large "no refunds" sign on defense table.

11. Begins every sentence with "Well, as Ally McBeal once said..."

10. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla vs. Mothra.

9. Just before your trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

8. He thinks he'll win your case, "because there's a first time for everything"

7. He starts off his opening with, "anyone got a light?"

6. Whenever he says, "Your Honor" he makes those little quotation marks in the air.

5. Sign in front of law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:45"

4. Begins by telling jury, "You all look like you should be on Jerry Springer"

3. Giggles every time he hears the word "briefs"

2. His phone number: 1-900-SHYSTER

1. He introduces you to his law partners, Jim Beam and Johnny Walker.

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Jeenius iZ in the MiNd
... but i'm insane in the braiN