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> 1. My wife and I have the secrets to making a
> marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice
> restaurant, have a little wine, some good food, and
> good companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go> Friday's.>
> 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in
> Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.>
> 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding> her way back.>
> 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
> anniversary. "Somewhere where I
> have not been in a long time." So I suggested the> kitchen.>
> 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.>
> 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster,
> and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are
> too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I> bought her an
> electric chair.>> 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
> because there was water in the carburetor. I asked
> where the car was, she told me "In the lake".>
> 8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas.
> She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a> tree now.>
> 9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.> Then the mud fell off.>
> 10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I
> too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No,> jump in!">
> 11. Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of
> divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started> with marriage.>
> 12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her> first name was Always.>
> 13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I> don't like to interrupt her.
>> 14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
> "What's on the TV?"...I said "Dust.">
> 15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
> Then God created man and rested. Then God created
> woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.>
> 16. Why do men die before their wives? Cause they> want to.>
> 17. What is the difference between a dog and a fox?> About 5 drinks.>
> 18. A beggar walked up to my wife shopping on
> Michigan Ave. and said, "I haven't eaten anything in
> four days". She looked at him and said, "God, I wish> I had your will power".
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