.
   
register for an account    --    


Go Back   GupShup Forums > Hangout > Jokes (Rated G)


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 12:47 AM   #1 (permalink)  
Banned
 
5Abi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 28, 2002 - 5:00 am
Posts: 14,996
Blog Entries: 1

none


Read on another forum


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.

8. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.

10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off







When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. - Jimi Hendrix
5Abi is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 06:44 AM   #2 (permalink)  
HSK
Superior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 12, 2002 - 1:00 am
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,449

none


old....and not gold. one of the worst jokes ive heard.






HSK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 07:00 AM   #3 (permalink)  
Guffaw|Ò^Ó|King
 
Join Date: Jul 20, 2002 - 1:00 am
Posts: 5,320

none


:biggthumb






salman_2you is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:59 PM.

 
» quickie
gupshup
cafetravjok arcbaz
unplugged
all img 1 2 3
khl 1 2vidvoice
audshor 1 2
society
pamsiwa p&sr&sc&a bep&e
arts & cul
cl&lpoet 1 2
rkslife 2 3 4 5 (par)
ha&ccs&n c&itauto
features
blogsgames
gs google button
a/v chat all albums
services
supportfeed
gs newsmodrf

» regional
pakistan isb khi lhe mfg
pakistan pew lyp mux uet
united states nyc chi iah lax
india bom del bng
holland / the netherlands ams rtm zyh
saudi arabia ruh jed
england lhr
canada yyz
united arab emirates dxb
other cites of the world all other




gs radio




Powered by vBulletin - Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0