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- Jul 24th, 2007, 11:32 PM #1
When I was a kid, I used to think Pakistani's could only marry Pakistani's to be truly "accepted" as a couple, now Im split on the topic. But I was just wondering from someone who is currently living or raised in Pakistan, what is your view on a Pakistani marrying outside their race/what do you think is the general view of interracial marriage in Pakistan today? Is there any particular race that would be accepted over the other? (Im pretty sure it would be more accepted if a Pakistani married a white person as opposed to a black person, right or wrong?)....thanks for your answers
- Jul 25th, 2007, 01:27 AM #2----
- Join Date
- Jan 4, 2002
Personally, to me it doesnt matter as long as the other person shares the same religious views as me
One of my cousin has a chinese girlfriend..muslim..I see nothing wrong with it but when the new got to Pakistan..his mom and my other cousins totally didn't take it as a good news ..there were comments like "ager kisi aur say kerni thi tou gori si hi ker laita and blah blah".. he's made fun of everytime there's a conversation about shadis in the family
- Jul 25th, 2007, 11:16 AM #3
yeah well i think interacial marrigaes arent really properly accepted in our culture, but yeah i think if u married a gora ppl wud accept that more than if the person married a kala or sum1 who was chinese, dunno why, but even living in the uk whr thr are quite alot of interacila marriages it not accepted, and to be honest the marriages never really work out. i knw a a pakistani uncle who married a gori woman and she converted and accepted our pakistani culture, she learnt how to read teh quran and really made an effort to be a gud muslim and teach her children the same, we all thought that that was grt mashallah but then 10 years down the line the couples marriage became rocky and they divorced, she then startted going out with sum gora and she suddenly totally changed went back to wearing mini skirts and drinking in front of her children, the children became very disturbed and asked to live with their father so really the point being is that interracial marrigaes are very rarely successful and creates problems for teh children since tehy dont realy understand which culture tehy belong to, mayb im wrong but every single interracial marrigae ive knw has ended in disaster
- Jul 25th, 2007, 01:22 PM #4
I am not against it but Pakistani society, families and the differences in culture even if religion is the same makes it difficult. I think in these marriages both the husband and wife don't really have that "support system" to rely on. To further elaborate, in Pakistani marriages, if things get rocky, the family elders/parents sometimes step in to mediate. I know its an old fashioned thing nowadays, but it's nice.
We are pretty narrowminded people when it comes to marriages. I mean random uncle got in a hissy fit when his daughter married a guy from a different biradrie (caste group). So you can imagine how they might feel if someone is from a different culture/country altogether.
- Jul 25th, 2007, 03:22 PM #5
hmm lemme see my mum isn't a paki...my dad is
My dad's side of fam didn't wanted ma dad to marry ma mum lekin it happend..they had created a lots of trouble...ma mum and dad didn;t go to pak for ages....They still don't like ma mum lkin they don't talk to her either
she's not really exepted
- Jul 25th, 2007, 09:52 PM #6----
- Join Date
- Apr 28, 2001
- A pigeon hole + Living Room
I think its a great thing, and should be done more often. God knows that desis genes are just building up mutations, the way we keep procreating.
I am actually very proud of the desi girls who go off and marry outside the race. Takes guts.
(I used to think it was horrible, but honestly, most desis are such gits (HP humor))
- Jul 28th, 2007, 07:53 PM #7----
- Join Date
- Dec 13, 2003
I'm from the other side of the coin here, a gori, american of european decscent married to a pakistani man. He is my prince, the love of my life.
We've had acceptance for the most part of both sides of our families. His being far more numerous and far more accepting and welcoming. Goris can be notoriously cold.
Anyway, all of that really has no bearing at all on our love for each other, for our boys and our marriage.
Those who think that a so-called mixed race marriage is doomed to failure are sadly mistaken.
- Jul 28th, 2007, 07:57 PM #8
- Jul 29th, 2007, 04:40 AM #9
Thank god im married to a british white man and hes the best thing that eva happened to me. He converted to Islam and we have been married for 4 yrs and we have beautiful 3 yr old daughter. I have no in law issues cos i have no in laws, allhamduliah we're very comfortable financially that when i work its my hobby not my job. Thank goodness most ppl live their lives for themselves and not for what the rest of the judgemental world think.
- Jul 29th, 2007, 06:04 AM #10
a lot of pakistani men can't handle career oriented women.
they believe that women should stay home, cook food and take care of the kids and thats why many pakistani guys who marry white women end in divorce
thats why in UK, its mostly pakistani girls who have white boyfriends rather than pakistani guys with white girlfriends
- Jul 29th, 2007, 08:41 AM #11
- Jul 29th, 2007, 08:43 AM #12
- Jul 30th, 2007, 01:39 PM #13----
- Join Date
- Aug 6, 2006
if they are both muslim and both happy then no1 elses opinion should really matter, i no peep that have married english peep who have converted to islam and mashallah they have been such good muslims and are great role models.
- Jul 30th, 2007, 04:08 PM #14----
- Join Date
- Feb 2, 2007
Mama, you don't represent all of interracial marriages in the US. There is lot to be desired about interracial and interclass marriages in the US. The role of hollywood is to blame as well.
- Jul 30th, 2007, 09:26 PM #15----
- Join Date
- Mar 4, 2005
^ I disagree with you. All but one of the Pakistani/American couples that I know are middle to upper middle class and well-educated. This is definitely the norm in every community I am familiar with in the US, except maybe in desi "ghettos" in larger cities and in the UK.
What is the role of Hollywood in interracial and interclass marriages - are you an opponent, and feel that Hollywood encourages them and makes them appear simple or desirable?
- Jul 30th, 2007, 09:30 PM #16
Even the latest stats show that the majority of interracial marriages between british pakistanis and others is usually pakistani women marrying more outside of their race than men...
that could also mean they are marrying indians and others....
- Jul 30th, 2007, 09:32 PM #17
- Aug 5th, 2007, 12:53 PM #18----
- Join Date
- Mar 20, 2002
meh i don't really care as long as they're muslims....heck i want to marry someone outside my race, it's nice and different for a change, need to break that desi trendVerily my happiness is my iman,
and verily my iman is in my heart,
and verily my heart does not belong to anyone but Allah(swt).
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