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- Jan 30th, 2009, 10:50 PM #1
Ok, this is something that I really have tried to understand but haven't been able to comprehend at all.
Some men are pretty satisfied in their marriages, things are great with the wife, no major problems, fairly happy life, but they get 'bored' or 'tempted' and cheat on their wives. This is like a supposed one-time thing. A relationship with this woman never develops. The wife might never even find out about it because there's no telltale signs of cheating. Then there's others who find a woman attractive, start out as friends, get emotionally involved, get physical, and a relationship develops. We're talking seeing and talking to each other like they're dating. Some of these men are just fed up of their wives, their marriage is on the rocks but dont have the guts/heart to divorce them. Others just do it for.. well God knows for what reason.
I've only ever personally met two people that have cheated on their wives to the point of two-timing i.e. carrying on a long-term affair with a woman besides their wife. One of them was married for a very short time to a nice girl, no kids, and he ended up leaving her for the mistress. The other guy I know of is married with two kids but has been with this woman on the side for a year, but always has said that he also loves his wife but is not IN LOVE WITH her and is confused, because he loves both of them equally but if it comes down to making a choice between the two, he would stick with the wife cuz he doesnt wanna lose his kids.
So like my question is, what does a mistress have that causes the man to leave his wife??? How come some men no matter what, no matter how long they've been married can walk out of the rel'p and leave the wife, but then there are others that would never leave the wife for the mistress? I mean if you love your wife so much, why the hell are you cheating on her in the first place???
Last edited by Skittlez; Jan 30th, 2009 at 11:05 PM.it's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance; It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance; It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give; And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
- Jan 30th, 2009, 10:51 PM #2
kesa title hy?ﺃﷲ ﻧﯣﺮ ﺇﺴﻣﺇﯣﺇﺕ ﯣﺇﻠﺄﺮﺾ_"[Allah]created the seven heavens, and of the earth their like, and his Command flow through them"
- Jan 30th, 2009, 10:55 PM #3
I know it should be more like tramp vs. wife.
But seriously, focus on the post please, the title is fine.it's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance; It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance; It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give; And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
- Jan 30th, 2009, 11:20 PM #4
If those men were married to mistresses , they they would be cheating on them with there wives.
BTW women cheat too.ﺃﷲ ﻧﯣﺮ ﺇﺴﻣﺇﯣﺇﺕ ﯣﺇﻠﺄﺮﺾ_"[Allah]created the seven heavens, and of the earth their like, and his Command flow through them"
- Jan 31st, 2009, 12:42 AM #5
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- Aug 6, 2008
A wife may become boring whereas a mistress is exciting and fun.
A wife (not all wives) may let herself go whereas a mistress maintains herself well.
A wife may have everything in the world but the man may still cheat because he is a D-O-GG (not all men).
A man may feel bound to his wife and that alone is hard for some men to swallow. With a mistress there is no commitment and that keeps things simple.
Some men may like the risque-ness of having a mistress.
Why do men cheat? Why do women cheat? Its an age-old question.Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi
- Jan 31st, 2009, 12:47 AM #6
But why in the world do they leave their wives? Like what makes a man soo crazy about the mistress who is purely there for fun and the physical relationship that he leaves the committed wife who is there for him day in day out taking care of him, his needs, tending to the home, cooking for him, cleaning, even giving him and raising good kids? Its craziness. I dont think cheating whether its a one night stand or a yearlong thing is ok under any circumstances, its just unjustifiable, but the one night stand is still somewhat better than an affair of the heart, of emotions, not just sex, I mean actually loving someone and sharing all those feelings with another woman.... how, what, why??? The one night stand man goes back to his wife like everythings ok, no one is hurt no one finds out, but the two timing men are just something.... ughh it makes me so mad! What are they looking for/getting out of that relationship where they dont wanna leave the wife but tehy dont wanna lose the mistress either? And if you wanna leave your wife so bad, why not divorce her first then look for another woman????it's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance; It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance; It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give; And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
- Jan 31st, 2009, 12:54 AM #7
You know the thrill of the forbiidden romance.... a change from the normal.... circumstances...
Why one does it is beyond my understanding because if you are committed to your spouse and vice versa, you would never look or be in a position to be "looked at." There are definitely serious relationship issues, bad habits invloved. You can't love your spouse and another person the same way...
And you know, you ask them to marry that other person... naaaah. There's no thrill left then.
It's the work of the biggest shaitaan... our nafs.Don't be hurtin' and hatin' cuz my phone is so cool!
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:02 AM #8
Allah hidayah day aisay logon ko.Its all tricks of saitaan to create distance b/w a couple n weak ppl become a victim.u know the hadith that if 2 ppl leave space while praying satan fills that gap.I think its same with husband wife relation as soon as there a gap any other female tries to squeeze in.
Some married men falls for another women(mostly young girls) in their forties when their married life gets to a point of boredom to add a pinch of adventure n excitement.I read in an article that many men admitted to commit adultery during the last trimester of their wives pregnancy saying the wives looked either unattractive or weren't interested in sex.Some did it after delivery during the nursing period.Sick ppl.thats all.but a yellow flashing for all wives n wives to b.
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:06 AM #9
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- Jun 12, 2006
riya, man leaves his wife cuz his mistress asked him to do so.
as they say Aurat he Aurat ki dusman hai
but the good aspect is, (especially the one who dont have kids) that she got rid of him. He Simply dont deserve a pious wife (the woman who fears ALLAH SWT)."There are two rules for ultimate success in life: #1. Never tell everything you know." ;)
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:22 AM #10
This thread give me shock ..shock.. what if i meet her again some where at some point in my life after marriage.. how i am going to control my self..I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:23 AM #11----
My father believed that if the world found out who I really was they'd reject me out of fear.
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- Jul 2, 2007
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:25 AM #12
What do you mean by professional? As in the dirty bizniz?Don't be hurtin' and hatin' cuz my phone is so cool!
- Jan 31st, 2009, 02:57 AM #13
they r not necessarily cheap girls.they can b co workers,boss or a friends wife,even daughters friends.jub jis pe dil aa jaaiy.
- Jan 31st, 2009, 12:54 PM #14
- Jan 31st, 2009, 12:58 PM #15
It depends Riya.
Kabhi persnality, kabhi sex, kabhi biwi ko napasand karna ya uski adaton ko napasand karna. kabhi koi bhi wajah naheen hoti bus kisi nain luskaray dikhaay aur Insan ya to khud shaitan ho ya shaitan bahka day.
Mardon ko apni wife kay ilawa her aurat/larki ziada jazibe e nazar, ziada inteligent aur ziada khoobsoorat lugti hai khuwah wo budsoorat hi kioon na ho.
Main to kahta hoon biwi ghar ki murghi daal barabar ho jaati hai to doosri kukriaan to achchi lagain gi na.
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:01 PM #16
I forgot to mention aik bari wajah In Laws yani mard kay bhai bahan aur maan baap ka bhi biwi ki taraf say bilkul bahka dena ya jadoo karwa dena ya baar baar kahna kay shadi kar lay bhi aik bari wajah hoti hai.
Sometimes Parents themselves provde other lady to his son in jealousy of Bahoo.
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:16 PM #17----
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- Dec 30, 2008
I think it's the thrill.....the high, rush, excitement that one receives from doing something secretly. Kind of like the rush teenagers experience from doing something secretly and successfully behind their parents' backs. I guess that's why they say that forbidden is fun/interesting. That's one reason, and I've also read that some men (NOT ALL MEN, but typically wealthy) feel like they are deserving/ entitled to finding happiness even if it is achieved through cheating.
There could be several reasons. Maybe the wife is not fulfilling her husband's needs? It could be that the wife is tired from taking care of the kids and has let herself go and there is a lack of effort from both parties in maintaining the spark in the marriage. Maybe things are okay otherwise, but they're not connecting on some level. Or it's simply the newness, ghar ki murghi daal baraabar? I wonder if men realize that the "mistress" could one day become old and boring as well. I wonder if they realize that they have to go through the SAME ENTIRE CHARADE of flirting, giving gifts, comitting, compromishing that they once went through with their WIFE before she had kids and became BORING.
Fact is that there are temptations everywhere. You go through temptations everyday. Either you are strong enough to stay away from them because you understand that it's wrong, hurtful to your spouse, and there is a lot of risk involved, and you fear God. Or you simply are too weak and have no problems taking that risk provided you're never caught. It reminds me of the lyrics from Rhianna's song, "Don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught."
- Jan 31st, 2009, 01:22 PM #18----
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- Dec 30, 2008
^ Even if the in-laws are jealous of the BAHU and tempting the guy with another woman.......the guy is not a baby. He's old enough to make his own decisions and differentiate between what is right and wrong. So if he does end up marrying the OTHER GIRL....he can't blame it on parental pressure. At the end of the day, it's HIS consent that is required in a marriage contract.
And let's not forget the mistress. Is she THAT CHEAP that she has no shame in wrecking another woman's home. If the married guy is pursuing her, then surely she also has the common sense and ability to stop the affair. It might require some effort, self-control, and discipline......but it's not impossible. Even if the guy lied to her about being married, she could stop it after finding out. And if she pursued him while being fully aware that he is married, that makes her just as sick as him....and eventually what goes around comes around.
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