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- May 27th, 2009, 11:27 PM #1
in any relation if someone has hurt or cheat on u...and u were sincere with them...
is it easy for u to forgive or forget?
- May 27th, 2009, 11:33 PM #2----
- Join Date
- Jun 5, 2007
It depends what they did, personally fogiving is easy and fogetting I guess comes with time.....just depends on what I find to motivate myself in forgiving someone and normally it works out for sake getting rewarded later in life.
- May 27th, 2009, 11:36 PM #3----
- Join Date
- Dec 30, 2008
I was thinking about the same thing today. In fact I'm reading about this same topic on the yahoo answers form. It's more annoying when relatives behave rudely because we tend to expect better from our family.
I think that if those relatives sincerely apologize to you, it becomes a bit easier to forgive them. If they don't apologize, it becomes harder to forget and forgive. Some people (even when the KNOW that they have been unjust to you).....will not apologize because their pride gets in the way. They think saying sorry makes them look weak. Contrary to their belief, apologizing takes a lot of courage and is an action that can only be taken by those who are strong and have a conscience.
But you can try forgiving them for Allah's sake and for your sanity's sake. You don't have to forgive them for their sake.
I think sometimes if you choose to "forget" the mistake, you won't learn your lesson. You can behave in a polite manner with the offender after forgiving them....but don't forget the lesson you learned from the damage they caused so you can be wiser for the future.
- May 27th, 2009, 11:42 PM #4----
- Join Date
- Nov 10, 2008
- Wild & Free
Hurting is one thing, cheating is another. If you can forgive someone cheating on you, you are beyond my understanding and probably a whole lot better than myself. Maybe it takes a lot of time to forgive someone who has cheated on you. Hurting someone is bad, but nothing one cant forgive.
One should forgive, but not forget. Learn your lesson, keep it with you. It will save you some serious heartache in future.Ik tay mein sohna, uttoun meray nein nasheelay.
- May 27th, 2009, 11:44 PM #5
hmmmmm thats the ONLY thing they can do...but does it really make u heal??will it bring back the time and make things same as they were before?
yaeh may be forgiving is easy for ALLAH's sake...but we should never forgert how they made us feel...
i read somewhere that....
"people will forget what u said but they will never forget how u made them feel"
- May 27th, 2009, 11:46 PM #6
yes it is quite easy for me to forgive and forget other's mistakes but if anyone despite after forgiving constantly keeps annoying me then i at one time strogly react and counter attack on the opponent. but yes i do forgive 3 times and after that i deal other's in their own language which they understandG O D B L E S S Y O U
- May 27th, 2009, 11:48 PM #7
- May 27th, 2009, 11:50 PM #8
- May 28th, 2009, 12:07 AM #9
- Join Date
- Jun 12, 2006
i just forget about the things
i mean mujhay yaad nahi rehta k meri laraee kion hoe thee (and i get real mad)
u know thats the worst trait and ppl usually remember it
so even if someone did bad with me i end up apologizing"There are two rules for ultimate success in life: #1. Never tell everything you know." ;)
- May 28th, 2009, 12:30 AM #10
you should forgive people, but never ever forget.
and i live by this saying religiously, 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.'
if someone has hurt u before, u can forgive them but u shouldnt forget it, and never put them in a position to do it again otherwise its all on u.I purposely made this bright to annoy you.
- May 28th, 2009, 02:52 AM #11----
- Join Date
- May 27, 2009
i think it is possible to forgive and forget,,,,,,but if it is done repeatedly.......then u are too gullible and need to become hard skinned!!!
- May 28th, 2009, 02:56 AM #12
strange Kinzz i was thinking same thing today.i feel with age i find it hard to forgive.unfortunately i've started to keep grudges.n i was thinking today how a person can get more forgiving? may be this is a kind of pride n we should pray more so Allah can soften our hearts n make it easy for us to forgive others.
- May 28th, 2009, 03:36 AM #13
- Join Date
- Jul 10, 2000
I read it somewhere that "Nobody hurts you but its you, yourself!" and to some extent it is also quite right as most of the time we give the chance to others to hurt us. We become weak, emotional fools at times and people take advantage of it. Ofcourse everyone is weak, no matter whatever we do or say or how hard we try to be strong but those close to us know very well where we are lacking and that is why it is said not everything should be told, few things are supposed to be hidden.
Ofcourse its not even easy to forgive, let alone forgetting it, specially when it comes to cheating. With the passage of time you may forgive, but forgetting is still difficult, in my case not possible. How can you forget someone who has given you so much pain, heartache, tears, tough time? Time may heal everything but what about memories?** Of all the things I've lost ~~ I miss my mind the most **
- May 28th, 2009, 04:48 AM #14
- May 28th, 2009, 04:48 AM #15----
- Join Date
- Jan 2, 2008
Depends on the damage.. if they've caused u plenty of heartache even if u say it out-loud that u forgive the person.. and don't really..no point. Sometimes people don't deserve to be forgiven People quick to judgement often hurt.. and sometime's it's just not in u to forgive...all you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!
- May 28th, 2009, 05:14 AM #16
very well said ...
and i aslo think that i they just say a sorry...will they bring our tears back?? will they bring the time back which we'd spend in hurt n crying..and memories??and how they made us feel...SORRY is not enoug...yes we may forgive...but when ever i see or talk any person who'd hurt me...it makes me so upset to talk with them..no metter how happy im that time..but meeting with them or talking them on net/phone really made me upset...dont know if im oversensitive or it happens with others too..
Last edited by Kinzz; May 28th, 2009 at 05:23 AM.
- May 28th, 2009, 05:29 AM #17
problem esp in asian families is people are so stubborn and totally unforgiving yaar!
uff, i have seen the worst tempers of adults in asian families! they shout too much and cant control their anger! they think they need to be honest about everything! then they break up for 20 years and suddenly it takes someone's death to reunite them when they are at a funeral!
- May 28th, 2009, 06:29 AM #18
If you are totally sincere with someone, and that person turns around and stabs you in the back then there is NOTHING worse than that. It's not possible to forgive and forget unless they realise their mistake and say sorry. Even then, your heart may soften a bit but won't be able to forget the hurt that you had to go through. Hearing the person's name or seeing them....doesnt bring out hatred but reminds you how much hurt they have caused you.
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