and once. I don't believe in marrying again after divorce or death of spouse specially when you've been married for few years or have kids.

In case of a divorce I can't imagine some other man acting as a father of my kids and in case of death I think it's just unfair to marry again.

My husband promised me that he won't get married again in case of my death. how can I make sure that he remains single after my death?

Write it in your will. Do some insurance.

Originally Posted by hareem01

My husband promised me that he won't get married again in case of my death. how can I make sure that he remains single after my death?

Life aint a bollywood movie. You two have responsibility toward kids too.
For kids even step mum is better the having no mum.
He should get married ASAP for the sake of children and for him self.

Why all that death talk

Not a good idea!!

i think this thread assumes all marriages are perfect...which is certainly not the case...what if it was never perfect to begin with, and hence the divorce? even if there are kids involved...

death of ur spouse is another matter though...

PS why would u want to put such a restriction on ur husband? what bout ur kids?? given that a 2nd wife could never ever replace the mother of the children, it would still be better for them to have a loving step-mother to look over them...just a father's interaction with their children sometimes isn't sufficient...

Originally Posted by Dubaiwali

Write it in your will. Do some insurance.

You mean a will that says if he gets married again he won't get any money? Well, he doesn't need my insurance money anyway.

Originally Posted by JimmyKimble

Life aint a bollywood movie. You two have responsibility toward kids too.
For kids even step mum is better the having no mum.
He should get married ASAP for the sake of children and for him self.

Why all that death talk

I never wanted step parents and also i don't want step mother or father for my kids.
I don't care about my husband sleeping with a second wife(well i do a bit) but it's mainly because of my children.

Originally Posted by Iconoclast

Make his married life a nightmare.

After I'm dead?

Originally Posted by Iconoclast

By the way, i agree in getting married only once. I have told my wife if she dies i won't marry again.

Originally Posted by shk_14

ITS VERY DIFFICULT FOR A MAN TO LIVE ALONE......VERY RARE OF THEM dOO .as far as ladies can survive with children without married again.

Yeah i know.

Originally Posted by Chicken Biryani

Hareem , whats going on in your mind these days .... talk about life and good things woman

I too believe in getting married once , but life can make us see odd things , some people whose spouses pass away early on in life , dont have to live their life all alone .

If I were to pass away , I would want my husband to move on in life and remarry when he feels like it .... what is strange though , is that , I wouldnt remarry if godforbid anything happens to him .... I dunno its just plain crazy ..isnt it

I think it's a woman's nature to think like this even if she doesn't have any kid, thinking about remarrying in such situations feels like betraying your husband.

We talk about this once every year.....you know when you have kids you have to think about their future being secured.

Originally Posted by DeSiMuNdA

i think this thread assumes all marriages are perfect...which is certainly not the case...what if it was never perfect to begin with, and hence the divorce? even if there are kids involved...

death of ur spouse is another matter though...

PS why would u want to put such a restriction on ur husband? what bout ur kids?? given that a 2nd wife could never ever replace the mother of the children, it would still be better for them to have a loving step-mother to look over them...just a father's interaction with their children sometimes isn't sufficient...

I already mentioned the divorce part. I believe there shouldn't be divorce between couples with children, just separation but if divorce happens and you have kids then one who keeps the children shouldn't get married. I just don't want my kids raised by a step parent.

And i don't believe if there's any such thing as "loving step mother".

Originally Posted by DeSiMuNdA

i think this thread assumes all marriages are perfect...which is certainly not the case...what if it was never perfect to begin with, and hence the divorce? even if there are kids involved...

death of ur spouse is another matter though...

PS why would u want to put such a restriction on ur husband? what bout ur kids?? given that a 2nd wife could never ever replace the mother of the children, it would still be better for them to have a loving step-mother to look over them...just a father's interaction with their children sometimes isn't sufficient...

well, if my children were young and my husband decided to remarry while they were still young, i would want our children to be cared for by my parents or my sister. i couldn't accept a stranger doing that job.

in the event of death though, i doubt either of us would remarry. i'm sure i won't and he says he won't. but you can never tell how time and circumstances will change a person. it may be very disturbing to think about it now but i wouldn't bind him to something like that and even if i did, i doubt it would hold if he changed his thinking (after my death etc).

Originally Posted by Khalil KhaaN FaaKhta

yeh baat Khilaf e fitrat bhi hai aur Khilaaf e sharii'at bhi aur is qism kaa va;da na lenaa chaahiye aur na karnaa chahaiye...ya'nii ek Halaal cheez ko Halala hii rahne denaa chahaiye...meraa apnaa to Khayaal yehi hai...is taraH ke kiye huye va'de jazbaatii aur aHsaasaatii hote haiN jo ek dusre ke saath naa-insaafii hai...yeh meraa Khayaal hai ab iske aage koi kuchh kahew to kahtaa rahe ... yeh ziyaad qareen-e-qwayaas hai k aise failse partner ke oopar chhoR dene chahaiyeN

I know bro what you're saying but shariah don't force us to get married again.

These are highly personal issues. I agree that once children are involved, the marriage should stay intact. Mine will. But then...I have known some whose marriage was so bad that it negatively impacted the children and they did much better once the partners split. Each case is different yeah? So while I'll never divorce, I cant disapprove of those who do choose to do it.

As far as if you die...I understand what you're saying Hareem. And its nice. If your husband is in agreement with you then Im quite sure he will honor his promise to you. You know him well so not to worry.

For me, if I die, I would want my husband to remarry at the earliest. And if possible I would help choose his new wife before I went! I think it makes for a more stable house, having a warm mothering type in the family. I know for sure that no one will ever replace me in their hearts. They will never look at another as "mama". But I want them to always, always have at least a caring mother-type to help them through life.

But that too, is a very personal thing, a choice that is different for each person.

Originally Posted by hareem01

I never wanted step parents and also i don't want step mother or father for my kids.
I don't care about my husband sleeping with a second wife(well i do a bit) but it's mainly because of my children.




And i don't believe if there's any such thing as "loving step mother".

dudess.

I was raised by a step-mom, experience was some what less then pleasant.

Now when I look back at the whole thing I could not thank my step mom more for taking good care of my father.

Thing is, we are not bunch of individual living together. Our betterment(if that is a word) is mutual.
Your healthy hubby is going to live longer, and more pleasurable for your kids to be around.
I mean come on worst thing has already happened you are dead
Let your kids live to best they could have under the circumstances.

Originally Posted by JimmyKimble

dudess.

I was raised by a step-mom, experience was some what less then pleasant.

Now when I look back at the whole thing I could not thank my step mom more for taking good care of my father.

Thing is, we are not bunch of individual living together. Our betterment(if that is a word) is mutual.
Your healthy hubby is going to live longer, and more pleasurable for your kids to be around.
I mean come on worst thing has already happened you are dead
Let your kids live to best they could have under the circumstances.

Very funny.

What an interesting thread.

I would never restrict my husband from such a thing..the thought of him being with someone else would not be too thrilling (huge understatement), but you have to be practical. And even if he promises:

Firstly, loneliness can bite so much that it can change a person's thinking.

Secondly, is there any other answer to this question. I mean, will the spouse ever say..yes I will remarry!!??

hm isnt that whole concept a little too movie-like and idealistic. in reality you can fall in love with more than one person and in reality your spouse can turn out to be not the idealistic man or woman you thought up of.

so if someone's marriage goes bad..they shouldnt get married again?
and plz guys just say they wont get married again but comonnnn!! oh and same for grls..if they get the opportunity to marry a dude after their husband's death, they probably would.